I was at a casino, I was standing by the door and the security guard came over and said "You're going to have to move, you're blocking the fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet, because Pizza Hut will accept all competitors' coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place. "Mitch's Pizzeria.. This week's coupon: Unlimited free pizza."
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shiskebabs.. Foosball ****ed up my perception of soccer. I thought you had to kick the ball, then spin around and around. I can't do a backflip. Much less several. Simultaneously.. With two other guys.. That look just like me.
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