Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls
for the Kentucky market:


"Lexington Barbie "
This princess Barbie is sold only at Fayette Mall. She comes with an
assortment of Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog
named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented
version.


" Owensboro Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.


" Bulitt County Barbie"
>This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a hunting
knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.


"Louisville (east end) Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership.
Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.


" Muhlenburg County Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She
has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.


" Covington Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends.
Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

" Ohio County Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
beer-gutted Ken out of Lexington Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.


" Bowling Green Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks.
She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Vanderbilt Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.


" Casey County Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and WIC vouchers. Nascar Ken, Jr and his 1982 Monte Carlo where available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.



" Laurel County Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's
always out with the boys drinking. Includes lifetime supply of Hairspray.
Optional
>accessories include Bedazzled sweater and matching belt.



" Love's Truck Stop Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply
adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.