8/18

Race 8
#7 Artic North :{>:

Isn't it funny... some people *cough cough* are such masters of grammar that they, correctly, capitalize the word Internet. :p

(... and that concludes my simultaneous moment of homage / bitch moment for the day). :D

Thanks for keeping score! I shall make it to the bottom yet.

I love him! I shall take Zucchini Flower tomorrow (#2 in R9) but good luck to both of them.

Race 1 ~ #2 Catch The Blues :{>:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-GtNNDKdN0

From the one with too much time ~ Clyde



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Good Whateveritis to all SportyFans;be you Libtards or Conservashivs.

Many of you suck,but I know all enjoy my fine,creative ( if sedative) work.Just only hours or so ago,I popped the cork on a bottle of MerHigh.I discovered I did not have the cork screw I thought I did .Now, this is where visualization comes into play.I imagined how a cockscrew works.Its point penetrates the cork and the constant turns of the profile allow it to "grab" the cork as upward pressure is applied.Try as I did,the only useful tool I could come up with was a long stemmed Phillips screwdriver.

I knew applying upward pressure would be a problem with the screwdivers smooth profile;what I didn't think forward enough about was the pressure needed to drive the relatively blunt point deep into the cork without pushing the cork right back into the MerHigh poison.


Wouldn't ya know, this is exactly what happened.

Goddamity.

The cork even looked happy swimming in the purple liquid heroin.



But .....there was that concomitant splurge of MerHigh ----like,everywhere.Walls,ceiling, counter top, floor and.....my swell yeller shirt.

There was only one thing to do at this point of misery:I quickly drank about half the bottle before the cork particles could spoil the fun.Then I went out the door and assaulted every appealing looking girl who crossed my path.Because I am a natural hottie magnet, one let me grope her dupa and boo bee's.Another let me apply Dracula bites to her neck.The best was the one who let me plant her on the trunk of the Starship and buzz her with my stinger until I squirted her.

It was purple!!

My squirt;not my buzzer.

Well, my buzzer was kinda/sorta purple.

And so.....I have invented the Starship MerHigh Buzz n' Squirt.You do know what this all represents,aye? It proves,once and for all....that "every happiness is the child of a separation it did not think it could survive." It also is yet more evidence of my Beautiful Mind.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysbWMKrPZnw



I am now in 139th place at Feld Spar...out of about 3700 as I am an excellent handicapper.Today I have selected Heat du Jour as my fine selection.Hope he doesn't hose me.Spall Chuck says du jour is not right, but who cares? I would also like to announce( and you nonsubscribers may use this as it is not in code)my A#1 selection for At The Sara's on Monday is the....1,I think. Ah dunno.In----the, second race? Ah dunno. But it is Catch-The-Blues, don't -ya-know.

Oh, at he Feld Spar contest;I am a SERIOUS player.There is that designation and there is only one other which is "just for fun".The difference is one must pass violent exams to qualify as a SERIOUS player.The other difference is the "fun" player, upon losing,will exclaim ,"Oh well."Whereas the SERIOUS player,when losing, will exclaim,"GODAMMTY SUNNYBITCH DIRTYROTTENNOGGODCHEATINGHORSEYOFAHORSEYFUCI<FACE! !"

It's ever so subtle.

One last thing.The Off Topic Room at NoAdvantage should be treated as a gathering of kumquats suffering from massive personality disorders.The PoliSci Room here is getting there.

Would NerdyTrail be the same without me? We may be about to soon find if that is so.Of course, once again there is a bit of a corollary here and that is-----would I be the same without NT?

I think we all know the answers to those provocative questions.Also,notice that at no time did anything here remind me of a column I wrote.


Life Note: If your skin is big, not to worry:You will grow into it.







googlies!!

race 7 Captain Toews
race 10 In Speight Ofitall

I picked 2 because I missed a few days

and I like to cheat

:tro::D

Question: If your skin is too small, will you shrink into it?

That's a great line.

Today:

Majestico in the 3rd

and

Natalie Victoria in the 9th

because :{>:

From "Postman can't get here soon enough" ~ Clyde



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Anyone here recall how CharleyHO started??

I know that's a very long arm reference;or not.


Golly.That reminds me of a column I wrote for the NHC TOUR.It seems like I wrote that just a few weeks ago and almost remember it word for word....

~



~



~



~






GIVIN' 'EM STEEL

by Clyde Collinwood( creator of CLYDEFORM!! and esteemed author and essayist as well as a noted big deal of and in many whatnots)


I was recently approached by Whose?FeldSpar and was begged to participate in their NHC TOUR Whose?FeldSpar contest for 2014.Having my name as a participant is a huge leg up to any organization.I told them this would be accepted by me, but only if I started out by being assigned a negative $10,000;only fair to the commoners playing.Even with that much of a penalty, I envision myself finishing in at least the top 10 per cent.

(Update: Clyde is now in 68th place.That is in the top 2%.Collinwood is GOD!)

It was posed to Whose?FeldSpar,should I win.....I would like all my prizes turned to cash and sent to onthecontrary.He's going to need it.

Friends,don't you know that at least 90% of what you hear or read is kumquatery?Well now I'm lost.Is this still my column of which I was reminded.....or is this now and not in that original column?It's hard being an intellectual.I'm sure it's also hard being Nick'sKumquats as well as others.


Anyhoo....I would like to say I am Clarke Kent in that contest.Maybe NT can now be The Daily Meteor.


Answer to The Debonatah: You really,really get under my skin.Shut up.


A feeling.....has embraced me.I have more cork embellished poison.I feel a perfect day coming.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpV_6CN6CVc

So I am not getting any of this this time (sorry but ah'm not!) BUT am interested to know who you are referring to here.

Put it this way... will I be getting angry at you today?

edit-

You may live.

Congratulations.

Clyde-$45,919.50
Sighty-$43,229.50
Arletta-$34,414
Me-$32,620.80
MMSC-$21,921
Herky-$14,591.70
Geekie-$9887.90
OD-$6731.10

New Scores as of 8/18

:{>::)

Dear Clark Kent,
I think your leotards are too tight.
Love, The Debonatah

:{>:

I know. She blows hot and cold. But still :{>:


But lookie here . . . Speaking of blowing cold . . .
Winter's Coming!
http://www1.drf.com/workoutsForHorse...o?rNo=09000474

From the Royal One Hisself:


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My A#1 for Wednesday at Sara's....#7 in the second,GoodCatholicGirl

I am 68th out of over 3700 at the Feld Spar.

I am a most excellent handicapper.

I can't read drf special features but if it's true Winter's Coming then :tro::tro:

I shall choose #3 Here's Johnny in Race 9 because there are no winter themed horses entered Wednesday at the SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.:mad:

Maybe, on those rare days without a winter horse, you should be allowed to play another track. :D

For tomorrow...

R3, #6, Sanctify.

If he scratches and I'm not around can I please use the #2 fine horsie, Hear the Footsteps, in his stead?

Thanks. Good luck everyone and go round the oval safely, kids.