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  #1  
Old 01-23-2015, 08:50 PM
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Default ClydeVivor 2015 Anything Goes..........

Time to leave the Christmas thread behind...................

Holy Cow Picks:

Frosted/Keen Ice exacta box in honor of the 1st snowstorm of 2015.
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  #2  
Old 01-24-2015, 02:46 PM
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The Very Fine ClydeVivor Analysis of the Holy Cow Stakes:

================================================== ===


For yer handicapping pleasure....the VERY fine analysis of the Holly Cow
Steaks!:



This will be good,but not for vegetarians.

Here ya go.







1....FROSTED TIP


Oh boy.



Really ridiculous as frosted tips are for selfies and should NEVER be raced.





....uh,no....



Crinkle....


trash can.






2....QUEEN ICE


Ice Queens never win.



Crinkle....


trash can.






3....LOW MOON CIDER


This is a special autumn evening beverage.

It has no busyness in a non autumn place.....in the afternoon.....in January.

So no.



Crinkle....


trash can.






4....BLUE GRASS SINGER


Funny how a few letters make all the difference.

If this were Blues Singer, why----he'd be an auto keepah-keepah.

Ever hear Bluegrass songs?




BLECH!!!!



nyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooooooooooooooooooow!!!!



thud






5....JUAN&BINA ( IN A BOB&JOHN SUIT)













whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!







6....FIRST DOWN


Last in.




Crinkle....


trash can






7....FRAMMENTO







GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!





KEEPAH!






8....UPSKIRT



whoa!!!!




tsssssssssssssss!!




UPS!....I mean ----



Crinkle....


trash can.






9....DON THE HAND GRENADE


Pull pin....throw....pffffft.




Crinkle....


trash can.






9....DECISION DAY



I have decided----




Crinkle....


trash can







Number 7,FRAMMENTO to win.



By the by....this is an awful race;didn't have much to work with here.
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  #3  
Old 01-25-2015, 09:25 PM
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From ~ Clyde


================================================== =====

It's really nice being in a brand new Debbie contest.






There I go again.



Anyhoo....I am wondering if any of the posters in the Tamp Bay Reunion thread have ever heard of Facebook.

Just thayin'.

Thank our lucky's they are not tweeting here,too.


Anyways!!....Believe it or not, more interesting things are happening than the Worst Dressed Tourist in Floria Contest.Another KD approaches and countless 3 year olds are candidates to win it.February 1st begins the one week Grifter Convention which shall be held at the parking lot of Walmart in Kent.The Grifter of the Year will announced on February 2nd.If it isn't Taylor Marie,then I would not want to meet the winner.



More PLE's:


"Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time."

Well don't look at me.



"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."

I don't think baffert wrote that one.



"It is every man's obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it."


Public "servants" ,I feel sorry for them.They have a lllllllllong road to hoe.



"Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up."


Or if they're in the Tampa Bay Reunion thread.----=:>



"Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it."


BLECH!!



"If you are going through hell, keep going."


keepah-keepah!!






And now, hour STICKY MUSIC!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzAO9A9GjgI






In closing,remember----if ever you find yourself a stranger in a strange land amongst creatures who cannot be explained away;not to worry.You are merely momentarily trapped in Tampa Bay....among those bearing Legionnaire's Disease.



Uhm.....maybe you should worry.






ADIOS AMIGOS!!
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Old 01-26-2015, 01:33 PM
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"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."

I don't think baffert wrote that one."

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Old 01-27-2015, 02:49 PM
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From Still alive ~ Clyde


================================================== ===========


Thank you SightyPooKins for my trophy and huge ,toothy grin face.I enjoy being recognized for my exemplary work.

I do feel as though many more of these awards should come, but the vast majority of my legion of fan....make that fanS....are either very shy or lack courage.


ANYWAYS!!----




Is "by the grace of God" a hard and fast rule?

Does "space junk" break the law ;"what goes up must come down"....?

Why can not a stent be used to clear mental blocks?

Shall meteorologists predictions be granted a "may be off by 90-100%" annotation?



These are but a few of the challenges standing before manselfish as we head into the merry month of February.This is the only month lasting under 30 days;even in a leap year.Its name comes from the Latin term "februum" ( do not confuse this with redrum) which means"purification."It is OK to pronounce it as "FebROOary" or just FebUary."I don't know why January isn't Janruary nor why February isn't just Febuary.It seems like it would be fine to also pronounce January as JanROOary.


But it's not.



"When choosing up sides without captains,don't anoint yourself as one.The sides will choose themselves."

-Albert Einstein



"Remember,Jesus will not walk amongst us as an international personality.He will be an unemployed carpenter or maybe a homeless person.One things for shore :He will be noting who be naughty or nice."

-Loam Chumpsky



God these philosophical quotes are driving me nuts.



I am trying to put into order the most important parts which make up a "hottie."

I think this:

1....Legs
2....Face
3....Dupa
4....Boo Bee's


The 3 year old that wins this years KD most likely has yet to win a race.

If you had the little c in your little prostate and your medicine man was Dr. Cistti,would you not ask for the availability of Dr. Tumorski? Honest, these things only happen to me.

The infamous grifter,Taylor Marie,has yet to reappear....although I know she will.The former stripper who now trims the excess off rubber products( ya really can't buy stuff like this) has to make sure the well has dried up.Let me tell you;she's really,really good at what she does.


Red Boarding is applicable to the dice tables and roulette wheel.Just because you got soaked at the races, and that can be confirmed,doesn't mean you can lie about that which is not possible to be confirmed.


Since Belichik is a proven horrid loser and cheater and BIG LIAH(just ask New York and Parcells) and will use every angle and stretch rules never before stretched and keeps his nose into every aspect of the game and dump his wife after many years for a baffert like HO....does anyone really think he had nothing to do with Air-Be-Gone????

What a despicable rodent.


Speaking of despicable rodents,when will the Breeders Cup Classic become the Breeders Cup Vlasic----brought to you by the Pickle People!!

That would top the Kentucky Derby presented by YUM!

God that is so awful,although I could put a girl's name in front of YUM! and it would be a WHOLE lot spicier....and truer


SAY!!!....Speaking of sour pickles.....snarf!!....sssssso funny-----I'll bet Tits' ***** tastes like sour pickles, bet ya.NoAdvantage would know.

rolling an' laughing!!

I am ssssssssso amusing!!



Maybe that's why he's such a nasty plumb bob.....=:>



Oh gosh.Now what? Perhaps a STICKY MUSIC link? Why, of course!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sGy_-p_sVE



And finally (STOP IT!)...I----ME, has a black shirt with a classic rendering of Gary Moore in ELECTRIC blue on my chiseled torso front side.This goes with my A#1 blues collection of more Moore's,Rory Gallagher and the ABB.


And they all sniff like BURY ME BABY!!!!





AMIGOS!


AVANTI!!!!
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Old 01-29-2015, 08:45 PM
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"Remember,Jesus will not walk amongst us as an international personality.He will be an unemployed carpenter or maybe a homeless person.One things for shore :He will be noting who be naughty or nice."

-Loam Chumpsky


So Jesus is also Santa Claus????

Will we be getting one of your very fine analysis of the Tampa Bay Derby?

Tomorrow at GP, I like Presto Magic in race 9. Will box with Catfight Cowgirl.
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Old 01-31-2015, 07:27 PM
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From Clyde

================================================== =======

Ms. Longerie....first, I must know at what track this TB Derby is run.



It's important.
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Old 02-01-2015, 04:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arletta View Post
From Clyde

================================================== =======

Ms. Longerie....first, I must know at what track this TB Derby is run.



It's important.



Never mind. Was the Sam Davis and already run. My mistake.

Next week-The Donald Trump at GP?
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Old 02-05-2015, 07:22 PM
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From ~ Clyde



=======================================


Miss D.O.D.----I would not have done the Sam Davis anyway.I found it dreadful.Also,I have discovered the Tampa Bay Derby is held at Tampa Bay.

I hate Tampa Bay and shan't be doing that one either.

Gud wun on the Trump;do it tomorrow.




Sporty Fans,the horsey biz is like any other biz;one hears an abundance of bullshit.It is up to the customer or fan to house such talent as to determine what is bullshit and what is real.Everyone is selling something.That "something" is usually going to be....bullshit.Assuming one is not a gardening enthusiast;why pay for bullshit? Why kiss up to bullshitters? Does this not make you a bullshitee?

And,as if there is not enough bullshit being slung around....we have the ever growing popularity of Fucl<FaceBook and and Twitter.Twitter being aptly named for its members----twits.Now its not just volumes of bullshit anymore,but a huge pinch of completely worthless redundancies.What a swell mix.


Thoreau was so ahead of his time.

It's almost as if he knew this "social revolution" was coming.

What better way to dump the nonsense than to move away from it?


In the forest you will hear real tweeting,as it was meant to be.FF Book becomes your diary.A man once pretended he was a tree talking to another tree and said,referring to axes being marched with bad intent into a forest...."At least the handles are one of us." That,to me....is so far reaching in its innuendo.


Let us now have a few more Personal Life Enhancements:


"The machine that feeds you is the same machine that eventually eats you."

All time fave of mine.


"If you desired to change the world,where would you start?With yourself,or others?"

It's not that hard.





Enough with the PLE's.



Let us do the fine pre race analysis for the Sad Rodeo Stakes:




But first....this will be played at my funeral,although I won't have a funeral. Maybe just hum it when my death is official.ALL of them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmsRFrN97ek





And so.......





1....FUCL<ERTUNITY


The sole horsey in this trained by that worthless cheating slug;----baffert.

It will be interesting to see how he might assault Shared Belief;especially from gate one.I'm sure that whinning,schmoozing drug dealer baffert will think of something.


This will be fun!









WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!







2....TONTO


Jay Silverheels is NOT in the saddle.

No shot.




Crinkle....


trash can






3....YOUKNOWIKNOWANDSODOESFIDO



wuff!!



Crunkle....


trash can






4....IMPAIRED



Ant hill destroyer.



Crinkle....


trash can






5....SHARED BELIEF



DOUBLE KEEPAHKEEPAHKEEPAHKEEPAH!!!!






6....FUNHOUSE SLIDE


Oh boy.


NO!




Crinkle....


trash can






7....BOZO



Blech.



Crink-EL!....


trash can






8....CALIFRONIA ALUMINUM



Too many cheaters and cowards in this race....Goddammity.



Crinkle....


trash can






9....BETA SLOTH


Step into the vaporization chamber,please.












poof












Shared Belief to win.
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  #10  
Old 02-06-2015, 04:06 PM
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The analysis of "The Donn H" by ~ Clyde



================================================== =========



The Donn Trump 5th Presidential Candidacy,But Just Kidding I Do This To Satisfy This ENORMOUS Ego Of Mine:





1....CONSTITUTION


There is a Todd of Rights involved here.

Not bad.

Still....



Crinkle....


trash can






2....COMMISSIONER


Another nice horsey.

A Hot Toddy.

Just not today.



Crinkle....


trash can






3....NOTEASTHALL


Kaplan pulls the bait n' switch.




Crinkle....


trash can






4....LAY


What's mott to like?

She's a HO.



Crinkle....


trash can






5....ELNAAWI


A Watusi horsey.

Can you do the Watusi?

Do you care?


Me neither.



Crinkle....


trash can







6....CATHOLIC COWBOY



Could there be a worse combination?

Is Turkish Hash the best combination?

Ever see a Turkish hottie?

Ever do hash?

Ever do a Turkish hottie?




I forgot the name of this horsey because I am petrifying my pud.





Let's just crinkle-----trash can this one.






7....






....ut oh(tm)....



Ah furgud again.









NYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!





thud






8....PROTONICHOLE



This is the very first Nichole.

I hate to do this Sighty.

I'll not crinkle you, but wrap you in cotton and place you gently into the trash can.




plop






9....BLUE TONE



sssssssso close!!




Crinkle....


trash can






10....PRAYER FOR RELIEF


Cain't quit 'im.




Winnah-Winnah!

Fishy Dinnah!!








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  #11  
Old 02-06-2015, 07:43 PM
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I do hope you found something to resuscitate your pud.
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Old 02-06-2015, 08:21 PM
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My dear Clyde, I shall match your Donald Trump and San Rodeo Dr and up you one Withering Heights and one Shari Lewis and Lambchops:


The Donald-Constitution-Won
San Rodeo-Hoppertunity (although I'll be happy if SB wins )-3rd YAY SHARED BELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!
Withering Heights-March (so many ZC's on this one!)-LOSTED. Never bet a horse named March in February.
Shari Lewis and Lambchop-Firing Line-2nd

Sue Wanna Be-Rock On baby-Also Losted.

Your move sir.
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Old 02-06-2015, 09:03 PM
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Does Clyde have any picks for the Aruba Derby- cause I will be there live and in person. I just need to google where the hell the track is as it has been hard to find between the martinis
and cuban cigars.
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Old 02-06-2015, 09:15 PM
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I would like to STEVIE ALL ex box the Sue Wanna Be.


I also have a special announcement to make...

I once met Robert Lewis.

He wasn't Belmontian wonderful people, but he was wonderful people nonetheless.
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Old 02-07-2015, 11:02 AM
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From ~ You know who ~ Clyde


================================================== =====


Oh my God.

I am in deep confusement.


SightyPoo met Robert Lewis in Aruba and Ralph was smoking cigars with Monica Lowinski.She said someone was wonderful people minus 1....and she bet nonetheless to win.

Perhaps my efforts are better put in moving on The Debster.



Withering Heights....I like March.Cant quit 'im.

Shari Robert Lambchop Steaks....Rock Shandy

Sue Wanna Bee....Skylander

The Aruba Derby brought to you by BLECH!....(It's held in Rio de Janeiro,but the way.)I like Hansen to win.No Advantage performing for Ralph Geeker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5_96DTde38




My head is spinning.



"resuscitate your pud"





HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!








thud!










Thank God I have downed copious amounts of MerHigh and am immune to almost anything....just not the D.O.D. Contest Contestants.


But the Purple Heroin can't be expected to be a cure all.


God help me;I love kumquaterry.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uQWnlEs9GU


The MerHigh is making me sappy.


I wound up in a neighborhood bar filled with unsavories.

I love the female unsavory.

They have no morals.They refuse to be taught,too.Commitment;that is like so important.


I know I went in with someone, but came out with someone else.Maybe it was.....or maybe it was the MerHigh.Can you follow this?Boy I shore can't.Could there be a synchronized Joe Cocker act?That would be tough.You thought I was kidding about Obama being an Egyptian Pharaoh,huh?Oh my God.I looked out the window and the space I parked my car-----that's not my car in that space.It may be the MerHigh-----again.You follow me now?I'm thinking of planting my own uranium 235 rods.The procedure was explained to me and really.....it's not that big a deal.Just have to find the 235.I'll bet baffert has some in his horsey medicine cabinet.


Here's a real nightmare I had two nights ago:


Short, but REAL and the kind that gives you
a thick ice jacket.I was in a house, deep---- in the night.It was a strange
house to me;I was in a bedroom.Pretty sure a little one's bedroom.The bed either
had an edge to it or it was a crib with the one side rail almost all the way
down,but not quite.The door was closed and someone was in that bed/crib.I got in
it and laid next to that body.Then, I got up to search for something but I did
not know what it was. I heard people outside the door and jumped very fast back
into the bed.I hear the door open and cringed ,partly because some of my body
was laying on the top of the side rail or "edge."I'm scared to death now and lay
facing a wall.The door closes and I can tell more than one person walks up to
the bed and stops.It's 3 people,I think.One nudges my hip with a finger.I'm now
petrified.

"Why aren't they screaming at me?"

Then a voice says something,but I can't hear the words and I don't answer.

Again something is said to me.

This time I answer and say that I cannot hear what is being said.Another word
string.Now I point to my ear and say that I am sorry,but I don't hear very
well.This time,I do hear it.I hear"You're wife is here."But I still ask to
repeat.To this point,the voices were nice.There was calm in them( which made no
sense) yet there was an innuendo of danger.Then the repeat,"Your wife is here."
Then, another voice immediately follows with,"Yes. Davey's wife!"

I swear ....those last two voices were again not angry, but playful....and
worse, they had that demonic hue to them.It all felt real. I did not know I was
dreaming.I was absolutely petrified.I literally could not move...frozen in
fear.At that point I made that decision:That decision where you are sick of
being in abject terror and you COMMAND your body to give back control to your
soul.

I shattered that full body ice jacket and turned toward them in a split second
and with complete rage screamed "LIAR!!!!"

Only right then did I become aware that I was here....on the floor....and now
facing a bedside table,even though I don't have a bed.It was a nightmare, but I
did in reality scream "LIAR!!!" ....VERY loud.

It's amazing I didn't wake up everyone on this floor.

When you have one of those when you are frozen in fear and just cannot move nor
even speak....those are friggin' scary.


Plus, when you realize you just bellowed out "LIAR!" in a very threatening way .....to a bed side table,you feel really stupid.



That's my story.

Way it goes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U9Q3UlO5gM







AMIGOS!----AVANTI!
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Old 02-07-2015, 04:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sightseek View Post
I would like to STEVIE ALL ex box the Sue Wanna Be.


I also have a special announcement to make...

I once met Robert Lewis.

He wasn't Belmontian wonderful people, but he was wonderful people nonetheless.
YOU WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I too met the Lewis' at Sara's Toga. They weren't wearing togas mind you but still wonderful people.
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Old 02-07-2015, 06:32 PM
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YAY SHARED BELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 02-07-2015, 06:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rileyoriley View Post
YAY SHARED BELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 02-07-2015, 06:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arletta View Post
From ~ Clyde



=======================================


Miss D.O.D.----I would not have done the Sam Davis anyway.I found it dreadful.Also,I have discovered the Tampa Bay Derby is held at Tampa Bay.

I hate Tampa Bay and shan't be doing that one either.

Gud wun on the Trump;do it tomorrow.




Sporty Fans,the horsey biz is like any other biz;one hears an abundance of bullshit.It is up to the customer or fan to house such talent as to determine what is bullshit and what is real.Everyone is selling something.That "something" is usually going to be....bullshit.Assuming one is not a gardening enthusiast;why pay for bullshit? Why kiss up to bullshitters? Does this not make you a bullshitee?

And,as if there is not enough bullshit being slung around....we have the ever growing popularity of Fucl<FaceBook and and Twitter.Twitter being aptly named for its members----twits.Now its not just volumes of bullshit anymore,but a huge pinch of completely worthless redundancies.What a swell mix.


Thoreau was so ahead of his time.

It's almost as if he knew this "social revolution" was coming.

What better way to dump the nonsense than to move away from it?


In the forest you will hear real tweeting,as it was meant to be.FF Book becomes your diary.A man once pretended he was a tree talking to another tree and said,referring to axes being marched with bad intent into a forest...."At least the handles are one of us." That,to me....is so far reaching in its innuendo.


Let us now have a few more Personal Life Enhancements:


"The machine that feeds you is the same machine that eventually eats you."

All time fave of mine.


"If you desired to change the world,where would you start?With yourself,or others?"

It's not that hard.





Enough with the PLE's.



Let us do the fine pre race analysis for the Sad Rodeo Stakes:




But first....this will be played at my funeral,although I won't have a funeral. Maybe just hum it when my death is official.ALL of them.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmsRFrN97ek





And so.......





1....FUCL<ERTUNITY


The sole horsey in this trained by that worthless cheating slug;----baffert.

It will be interesting to see how he might assault Shared Belief;especially from gate one.I'm sure that whinning,schmoozing drug dealer baffert will think of something.


This will be fun!









WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!







2....TONTO


Jay Silverheels is NOT in the saddle.

No shot.




Crinkle....


trash can






3....YOUKNOWIKNOWANDSODOESFIDO



wuff!!



Crunkle....


trash can






4....IMPAIRED



Ant hill destroyer.



Crinkle....


trash can






5....SHARED BELIEF



DOUBLE KEEPAHKEEPAHKEEPAHKEEPAH!!!!






6....FUNHOUSE SLIDE


Oh boy.


NO!




Crinkle....


trash can






7....BOZO



Blech.



Crink-EL!....


trash can






8....CALIFRONIA ALUMINUM



Too many cheaters and cowards in this race....Goddammity.



Crinkle....


trash can






9....BETA SLOTH


Step into the vaporization chamber,please.












poof












Shared Belief to win.
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  #20  
Old 02-08-2015, 06:46 PM
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From - Clyde



================================================== =====

Sporty Fans, before I begin sporty updates and yer what not.....I do have an announcement to make on my state of health;knowing full well the great majority here wish I were dead....UPS!....I mean, they pray for my little prostate.

This week ,I go in to have MerHigh withdrawn from me.They will be looking for traces of blood------wish me well, won't you?



Next up:Thanks so much to my ENORMOUS pud-----WHOA!!

Oh my God.

I meant , to my ENORMOUS fan base....of course.


So many congratulated me regarding my brilliantly insightful and courageous pick on Shared Belief.I want to do the right thing here and thank each one of you on an individual basis.




Arletta....thank you for your kindness and luscious legs.

















































I think that should be it.....certainly hope I didn't forget anyone.




California Aluminum,I'm told, had to see the vet immediately after the race and was treated for extreme dust inhalation.Hear he has recovered and is doing well.His greedy owner may send him next to Don'tBuy.You know,that ostentatious place built upon the backs of the scammed and enslaved.What an honorable thing to do.


Now baffert,the Merchant of Menace,now has to decide where to hide PayBob.

Good luck to ya there,baffert.

Floppertunity,maybe him for the Fig Cap?





"At the risk of seeming ridiculous,the true revolutionary is moved by the true feelings of love."


I can follow that one.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1I6BT01tNg






AMIGO'S!!....LET'S WENT!!
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