YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF. . .
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "
Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to
grits.
5. You don't know what moon pie is.
6. You've never had an RC cola.
7. You have never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.
8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
9. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows
you've seen are on road trips.
10. You have no idea what a polecat is.
11. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater
on a poodle.
12. You don't have bangs.
13. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than
Six Flags.
14. More than two generations of your family have been
kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
15. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than
grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
16. Instead of referring to two or more people as
"y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them
are women.
17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.
18. You have never planned your summer vacation around
a gun-n-knife show.
19. You think more money should go to important
scientific research at your university than to pay the
salary of the head football coach.
20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere
around the house.
21. The last time you smiled was when you prevented
someone from getting on an on ramp to the highway.
22. You don't have any hats in your closet that
advertise feed stores.
23. The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume
counter at Neiman Marcus.
24. You call binoculars opera glasses.
25. You can't spit out the car window without pulling
over to the side of road and stopping.
26. You would never wear pink or an appliqu?
sweatshirt.
27. You don't know what appliqu? is.
28. You don't know anyone with at least two first names
(i.e. Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean,
Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
29. You don't have doilies and you certainly don't know
how to make one.
30. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk
to you.
31. You can do your laundry without quarters.
32. None of your fur coats are homemade
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