From the one with too much time ~ Clyde
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Good Whateveritis to all SportyFans;be you Libtards or Conservashivs.
Many of you suck,but I know all enjoy my fine,creative ( if sedative) work.Just only hours or so ago,I popped the cork on a bottle of MerHigh.I discovered I did not have the cork screw I thought I did .Now, this is where visualization comes into play.I imagined how a cockscrew works.Its point penetrates the cork and the constant turns of the profile allow it to "grab" the cork as upward pressure is applied.Try as I did,the only useful tool I could come up with was a long stemmed Phillips screwdriver.
I knew applying upward pressure would be a problem with the screwdivers smooth profile;what I didn't think forward enough about was the pressure needed to drive the relatively blunt point deep into the cork without pushing the cork right back into the MerHigh poison.
Wouldn't ya know, this is exactly what happened.
Goddamity.
The cork even looked happy swimming in the purple liquid heroin.
But .....there was that concomitant splurge of MerHigh ----like,everywhere.Walls,ceiling, counter top, floor and.....my swell yeller shirt.
There was only one thing to do at this point of misery:I quickly drank about half the bottle before the cork particles could spoil the fun.Then I went out the door and assaulted every appealing looking girl who crossed my path.Because I am a natural hottie magnet, one let me grope her dupa and boo bee's.Another let me apply Dracula bites to her neck.The best was the one who let me plant her on the trunk of the Starship and buzz her with my stinger until I squirted her.
It was purple!!
My squirt;not my buzzer.
Well, my buzzer was kinda/sorta purple.
And so.....I have invented the Starship MerHigh Buzz n' Squirt.You do know what this all represents,aye? It proves,once and for all....that "every happiness is the child of a separation it did not think it could survive." It also is yet more evidence of my Beautiful Mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysbWMKrPZnw
I am now in 139th place at Feld Spar...out of about 3700 as I am an excellent handicapper.Today I have selected Heat du Jour as my fine selection.Hope he doesn't hose me.Spall Chuck says du jour is not right, but who cares? I would also like to announce( and you nonsubscribers may use this as it is not in code)my A#1 selection for At The Sara's on Monday is the....1,I think. Ah dunno.In----the, second race? Ah dunno. But it is Catch-The-Blues, don't -ya-know.
Oh, at he Feld Spar contest;I am a SERIOUS player.There is that designation and there is only one other which is "just for fun".The difference is one must pass violent exams to qualify as a SERIOUS player.The other difference is the "fun" player, upon losing,will exclaim ,"Oh well."Whereas the SERIOUS player,when losing, will exclaim,"GODAMMTY SUNNYBITCH DIRTYROTTENNOGGODCHEATINGHORSEYOFAHORSEYFUCI<FACE! !"
It's ever so subtle.
One last thing.The Off Topic Room at NoAdvantage should be treated as a gathering of kumquats suffering from massive personality disorders.The PoliSci Room here is getting there.
Would NerdyTrail be the same without me? We may be about to soon find if that is so.Of course, once again there is a bit of a corollary here and that is-----would I be the same without NT?
I think we all know the answers to those provocative questions.Also,notice that at no time did anything here remind me of a column I wrote.
Life Note: If your skin is big, not to worry:You will grow into it.
googlies!!