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Originally Posted by timmgirvan
DTS: Humor is my best weapon against 'reality'! And yes, OUR current reality does!
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Timm,
I didn't forget this thread.
Looks like the chickens found thier way back to the roost.
Cluck, cluck. Here comes the sky!
So, now the next chapter in the poultry story...
One day I went to the local pet shop about a week before Easter. There were plenty of cute ducklings, so my brother and I each bought one.
His duckling was named "Dicky". Unfortunately, it died withing a couple of days. Must have had a bad "ticker".
I named mine Dubby. This one lived, but after a few hours of watching this one, after I got back from the pet shop, I realized that one of its little webbed feet was completely malformed. It was a seriously lame duck.
Though it couldn't move around on land too well, I did my best for it.
Dubby even had trouble quacking. When it tried to say "quack-le-ar", it came out as "quack-u-lar".
It was very cute at first, but after a few days inside my house, mom made me take it outside so it could fend for itself. It just never really fit in.
It walked like a lame duck.
It quacked like a lame duck.
And it sure stunk like a lame duck. I don't know how all that stinky duck poop came from such a little lame duck.
Yup, it WAS a lame little duck.
One day, two Canada geese landed on the pond where Dubby was hanging out. They semed to tolerate him at the beginning but he just wanted to follow behind them all the time. The one goose (I named him Rummy) met an unfortunate demise when he went up on the bank and a raccoon got him.
The other goose (I named this one Rovie) saw what happened to "buddy Rummy" and flew off...never to be seen again. Go figure.
That left Dubby, the pathetic lame duck paddling around in endless circles in the pond. Poor thing couldn't swim in a straight line, with that crippled foot.
Before too long, a big fat raccoon was sitting on the bank of the pond, watching that lame Dubby going round and round... spinning in circles. Spinning.
Luckily, my dog scared off the raccoon.
Unfortunately, soon afterwards, a bolt of lightning came shooting out of the sky and hit the pond. It was electric!
Yup! Poor Dubby never even knew what hit him.
Mom cooked him in l'orange sauce.
If memory serves, he tasted a bit lame.
Quack! Quack!