[trackrat59]

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk

Holding out a chair doesn't make a man a nice guy. Most women can tell the difference between the actually nice guy and the one who is merely pretending to be nice because he's hoping to get laid. There are a lot of guys who do the holding out the chair, saying nice things, blah blah blah, but it doesn't matter; we can smell the anger coming off of them a mile away. At least the assh*le is being honest about who he is.

Which is not to say we don't make a lot of dumb choices in our teens and 20s, but most of us figure it out eventually. I have a friend who is a genuinely nice guy who I remember despairing over being single in his 20s. He ended up marrying a 5'9" redhead (taller than he is!) because while she was willing to date jerks, she didn't want to marry one.

You're right that we're a lot more practical about choosing mates than we like to appear, but it's not about some he-man provider; it's about someone we think we'll still like talking to when we both get old and wrinkly and talking is all you have left. A guy who pulls out the chair for us because he's just naturally kind, not because he thinks it'll score points with us, will do just fine. Believe me.

Oh, and being funny. We like that.

That's a great concept but I don't think it happens as often as you think. If I had read your post 20 years ago.....