BRAIN DEAD DAYS
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. -- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." -Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of
pliers.
"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
-Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
-Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
"It's like deja vu all over again."
-Yogi Berra
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
-Former French President Charles De Gaulle
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."
-A congressional candidate in Texas
"It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. There-fore, I have to beat somebody."
- Richard M. Nixon
"The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet."
-Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars.
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
-Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
"A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money."
-Everett Dirksen
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
-Samuel Goldwyn
"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the
public mind." -General William Westmoreland
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