Let us review.
I have admitted to not having a life,being insane,being stupid,beng an attentionHO......what else?
There must be something.
It will come to me.
But I guess I will do this much.
I have blabbed clandestinely about this, but now I will make it..only a little clearer.
Very close to exactly 6 months ago,I was fairly awash in confusion.I had a couple of events which just occurred and was really bothered by them.Bothered, in that they separately were quite pointed and were together quite stunnning,Then more odd things started to happen.Let's call them the "signs."They lasted for about 2 weeks.They were done in a string ,making it hard to lay it off to coincidence.
Would not be fair to detail them so I won't.
I was not sure what they meant. I was sure they did have meaning only I didn't know what that meaning was.
But believe me, if you knew them I really think you would agree these are no cioncidences. Time passed...nothing new.I actually started considering how maybe...it's me. Maybe I tried to make too much of them.I always came back to refuting that thought.No coincidence.Just over. At least for that time.
Then about one month ago, I got an e-mail from someone I rarely talk . They sent me a messsage and were concerned about an upcoming battery of physical tests.Turned out she was OK....but then she admitted feeling dumb because someone she worked with was terminally ill.Someone only 25 years old.Someone she painted as such a nice girl who was deep with God .Someone who lit up the room when she walked into one.She added something else.
I almost fell over from the shock.
All of a sudden I knew this was the revival of the signs.All of a sudden the person telling me about this poor girl become a very,very important part of this.She became the ''messenger.''She became one of the signs herself.
I thought this was the end;what all these signs meant. I won't say exactly what I did because they are somewhat embarrssing,although I have no pride---I guess maybe I do have a little left.
Then...so unexpectedly, the messenger very reluctantly tells me.Laura died today.
I was very,very shocked because I never though she would.Honest I did not.
The next shock was shaking back to life the date of her death; the same date my really good Father died...some 13 years ago.
Still not done.
The messenger sent me Laura's photo the next day,October 4.I had no idea what she looked like.
But I sit here thinking how connected to her I became and am even more so now.
So this .....''thing of mine" just won't stop.
That's why I seem so much more weird and nauseating lately.
Anyway....this song fits ,to me. It's a video of someone not there to "look at me"....someone in a simple set...little accompanyment...old haggard clothes,old haggard piano...sepia like....and the song,the audio.....they are perfectly in step with each other.To me, it best fits this girl. I don't know why.
I'm sure most of you have known,or at least known of, someone like this girl..in some way.
You simply shake your head in sadness and bow it in complete,utter dismay --not being smart enough to understand it.
So maybe this is, in a way...her song.I will always,now, think of her when I hear it.
We are innocent when we dream.
I have to believe she was innocent when .....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMc0ok9_V7Q
The bats are in the belfry
The dew is on the moor
Where are the arms that held me
And pledged her love before
And pledged her love before
It's such a sad old feeling
The fields are soft and green
It's memories that I'm stealing
But you're innocent when you dream
When you dream
You're innocent when you dream
I made a golden promise
That we would never part
I gave my love a locket
And then I broke her heart
And then I broke her heart
It's such a sad old feeling
The fields are soft and green
It's memories that I'm stealing
But you're innocent when you dream
When you dream
You're innocent when you dream
Running through the graveyard
We laughed my friends and I
We swore we'd be together
Until the day we died
Until the day we died
It's such a sad old feeling
The fields are soft and green
It's memories that I'm stealing
But you're innocent when you dream
When you dream
You're innocent when you dream
It's such a sad old feeling
The fields are soft and green
It's memories that I'm stealing
But you're innocent when you dream
When you dream
You're innocent when you dream