Some sort of therapy is definatley a good start. Just you or even better both of you together, if you still hope of making this work. I would also see what your rights are when it comes to the children. Maybe there is a chance that you can get custody (if that's what you want). But it sounds like she is going through some kind of phase, trying to catch up on everything that she missed to have 2 kids. Maybe that's why she has this love/hate thing for you. Deep down she probably cares for you, but then when she starts thinking about the sacrifices she made for you she gets angry. I don't know what kind of mother she is, so maybe she doesn't want custody (that's a longshot). You really need to just give her some space and hopefully she will grow out of this phase and realize what she has. I would make sure that there is no shady stuff going on when she is at home with the kids. Obviousally the kids will need some extra special with all that's going on, they are the #1 priority.
As for the OTB, it isn't a big deal if you are going there for personal relaxation and enjoyment. But to go there as a way out of dealing with the situation then I could see it being/turning into a problem.
But definiatley talk to a professional!
Good Luck.
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Felix Unger talking to Oscar Madison: "Your horse could finish third by 20 lengths and they still pay you? And you have been losing money for all these years?!"
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