Steve,
After reading Morty's heartwarming Dollar Billy poetry and his touching bad date story, coupled with his distaste for gelf and the New York Yankees, I think it would be heartless of you to keep him locked in these rooms.
After all, I believe it was the great Joseph Conrad who said, "All ambitions are lawful except those which climb upward on the miseries or credulities of mankind."
Your friend,
STEVE HASKIN
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