[King Glorious]

True story from yesterday. My friend and I are roaming around and run into Kwame Brown and Jordan Farmer, at different times. Here are parts of both conversations. Hope the language doesn't get edited here.

W/Kwame Brown
My friend: Kwame, what happened this season with u guys?

Kwame: It was just crazy. Nobody really got along all year.

Me: So all the rumors are true and there is no chemistry on this team?

Kwame: Well, there is some but mostly with the scrubs like Rony, Sasha and those guys. They get along great but not the main players.

Me: What about Kobe? He's always talking all that "my guys" **** but then we always hear about him going off on people.

Kwame: Man **** Kobe. I want to kick his ass. Like one time, we were in the huddle at halftime in the hallway right outside the locker room. Everyone is in the huddle getting amped up for the second half. Kobe's punk ass wouldn't join in. Then somebody said "come get in Kobe". Kobe said "I'm not getting in there with ya'll punk bitches." Then Lamar was like "man, come on". Kobe said it again "I told ya'll I'm not getting in there with ya'll punk bitches." So we were just like "**** it, he's bitchin up again" and we kept on going. Then at the end we were like "1-2-3 defense" then when we broke and started running on the court, Kobe jumped right in the middle like he was right with us.

My friend: Are u serious?

Kwame: Yeah man. I wanted to beat the **** out of him but I know if I do that, my career is over.

So we talk about a bunch of other things then we have to leave. About 30 minutes later, we run into Jordan Farmar. Now I've talked with Jordan a few times cause he's my friend's godson. So I know I can joke with him a little.

Me: Damn, I thought Kenny Smith said ya'll were gone fishing.

Jordan: **** u.

Me: Nah. If I'm gonna **** a dude, it's not gonna be one that was in the D-League a month ago.

Jordan: In the D and still pulling more women than u.

Me: Is the whole team gonna be up here today?

Jordan: What u mean?

My friend: We just saw your boy Kwame a while ago.

Jordan: Man, that's not my boy. That's a weak ass bitch.

My friend: Damn, why u call him that?

Jordan: Dude is always hurt. He can't even make it through practices without complaining about something. Always. Stomach aches, toothaches, ankle, foot, shoulder. Always something. During games, we sit on the bench and take bets on when he's gonna get hurt. I always take the second quarter.

Me: I guess that's why Phil was saying that at some point Kwame has to suck it up and decide how much he really wants to play.

Jordan: Kwame doesn't want to play at all. He just wants to get money and get women.

Me: So u don't like him?

Jordan: I mean, dude is alright. I don't hate him but damn, get some heart.

My friend: He said that ya'll can't stand Kobe.

Jordan: U know what? Kwame is a weak ass bitch but he's telling the truth about Kobe. Don't nobody like that dude.