I'll stick with what I've said.
It comes down to creating a loving environment rather than a confrontational one.
It worked for my family.
Get the book. Also, your wife has to read it. When you are both consistant, the child can't play "games"
It's not about "bartering", not anything punitive (that comes from frustration).
Positive attitudes grow in a loving environment, not a threatening one.
In a way, ask yourself, do you do things out of fear or because you enjoy doing them? Children have the same motivations.
You and your family will be much happier with the creation of win-win outcomes. Trust me, it works....all ages over 5.
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