[brianwspencer]

The Simple Life star Nicole Richie was arrested early Monday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence after the California Highway Patrol was notified of a car driving the wrong direction on a Los Angeles freeway.

The daughter of music legend Lionel Richie failed a field sobriety test according to CHP chief Michael W. Hiskey. “Our dispatch received several calls early this morning regarding a vehicle headed Northbound in the Southbound car pool lane. We absolutely do not tolerate citizens, whether they are famous or not, using our car pool lanes when driving alone. Ms. Richie was asked by the responding officer to perform a field sobriety test. Her failure to name the Constitutional amendment granting women the right to vote and her inability to name the capital of Kyrgyzstan made our officer suspicious of her sobriety. Had she just said ‘19th’ and ‘Bishkek,’ we likely would have sent her on her way. Those answers literally just roll off my tongue, here, watch – ‘19th, Bishkek, Bishkek, 19th, Bishkek.’ Having been put in such a position with a driver who is obviously too intoxicated to answer even the simplest of questions, our officer had no choice but to bring Ms. Richie in for testing.”

The CHP has stated that Richie’s test results would not be available until sometime Tuesday afternoon.

Richie had apparently spent the night partying at L.A’s ultra-trendy Spider Club. One celeb witness who contacted the CHP shed light on what led to the 91-pound Richie’s run-in with the law. “She was completely out of control all night. I saw her walking around with the same whiskey and diet coke all night. She was there for several hours, and everyone was telling her to stop drinking. But she insisted on having an entire drink. She was tripping everywhere and even spilled the last quarter of her drink on Mischa Barton's emaciated collarbone before she was asked to leave,” said fellow VIP Lisa Loeb.

Spider Club bartender Justin Guarini told sources that Richie had also stopped by his post on her way out. “She came up sloppy drunk asking for directions back to her house. She was irate, just like any perpetually filthy drunk would be, at having been asked to leave. I began to draw her a map on a napkin, but Nick Nolte interrupted me and told Nicole that he knew a faster way. She turned her back to me and took Nick’s map and stumbled out of the club.”

Celebrity reaction was mixed. Richie's The Simple Life co-star Paris Hilton said it was, "not hot." Her new party pal Britney Spears was overheard saying, "Come on y'all, I feel so bad for her y'all. Seriously y'all." On The View this morning, Rosie O'Donnell defiantly defended Richie. She told the audience, "This is obviously just another attempt by radical Christians to push their dangerous beliefs on the rest of us." And American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken shreiked, "OH MY GOSH GIRL, NO WAY!"

Richie’s publicist did not return a message left about the issue.