"The Kentucky Derby as Told by the Horses"
 

This New Yorker piece by John Kenny is pretty damn funny. It's the Derby, as told by Maximum Security, Country House, War of Will, et al. For example:

"War of Will: There was a party. It was crowded. It was very hard to meet anyone, since we were all in little rooms and then we were running, like, crazy fast. I don’t know why we were running or whose idea it was to run, especially so fast. I also didn’t know where we were going. Also, my name is Greg, not War of Will. I don’t know what that even means or why people call me that."

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2...-by-the-horses

I doubt you'll regret the time to read it!