The things people do in Mortimer's neck of the woods...
 

http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=8082496

A piece from the link:


BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table,"

Now that's what I call getting a woody.

Gives new meaning to "As flat as a board but with the knotholes in the right place"

End tables, coffee tables, ping pong tables sprouting up all over his yard.

hate to see what he'd do to a pool table..

















thud










whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrr












double whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Wanna play table tennis? :p

His wife was found inside having sex with a bumper pool table.

At least we know what to get Morty for Christmas.....

Doesnt the net get in the way ?
[ at least I didnt bring up the skateboard :D ]

Geezes , and I thought the hole in the middle was for the UMBRELLA ! :confused:
Opps just re-read the report................NEVAH MIND......

Thank you. :p

New meaning for getting tabled.












I'll bet it was made of naughty pine.














Maybe he was high and thought his joint was a rat tail file?

















Nah.




















I wonder what he has planned for the water table?


















He should have used a tablecloth and not risked the possibility of a little tv dinner table.

OOOOOOOOOO

Fine work.















Avery, speaking of great boxers, do you know anything about Charley Burley?

If Oinkman was around it would have been a table for two.














But he only likes tables with shapely legs.

























They could have had a round table meeting.










































Ah dunno.

Too kind......and ..no...I don't.





He fucl<s boxes?

Anyone here ever fucl< a radio???

No, I really just hijacked DrugS fine table fucl<ing thread to ask you about him.

Somebody was telling me about him today claiming that Sugar Ray Robinson and every other champion of his era ducked him.

He was a welterweight who knocked out one of the ranked heavyweights at the time and dominated Archie Moore, who was 15 lbs heavier.

Seems like an interesting story.

I'd ask about a weasel....






...but there would probably be too many responses.






























:D

LF...I hate to sound like a know-it-all..........but I have read almost every book known to mankind about boxing and never heard of this guy.









Sounds like a canvas fucl<er ta me.