What Mortimer Did For Me
 

It appears that I might be late to his going away party, but I wanted to pay tribute nonetheless. This is, of course, completely original work.

The retirement of internet horsey board heroes always marks a milestone of some kind for lurkers and HOs alike. Whether the poster in question grabbed the admirer with flashy good looks or with pleasurable recall of posts gone by, the end of a career invariably produces a flood of memories or mental snapshots of particular posts.

The end of Mortimer’s posting career especially resonates given what has transpired in my own horsey board-related life since the start of his brilliant run. On a snowy Saturday morning in the Unsnowy Woods in March 2007, I joined a horsey board called "The Nerdy Trail" with the Thistleydowns meet set to spring into high gear.

Right off the bat, I devoured dozens of mortimerdexterfoxworthy posts, with each reading only serving to fuel greater passion and devotion to a poster that seemed to suit my personality and peccadilloes perfectly.

I was certain that my chance to achieve anything as a horsey board participant had long since passed me by. But with the advent of Nerdy Trail, interpreting unfolding horsey board dramas felt like a great way to retrieve the enjoyment I had experienced in Junior High.

While my initial posts were modest and missed their mark, a feature written by mortimerdexterfoxworthy would ultimately change my entire life. “Well Now" was posted after a quiet weekend in racing with little to offer the many members that could not hear the music. mortimerdexterfoxworthy had been posting steadily, and there were several things about him that caught my admitted neophyte eye.

The thought that mortimerdexterfoxworthy could win the war against TrueSwine or be successful in the troika of sophomore classic posts (“This is Me”, “This is This,” “This is this and Me”), came with a concern that I could very well be hopelessly wrong.

His performance in “Petition to let Morty back in the other rooms” was heartening as he demonstrated an uncommon gameness re-rallying at the end of the thread after appearing finished setting the pace through 500 posts.

Without a laptop, keeping track of all of Mortimer’s doings was a challenge. After working all day, I would walk uphill both ways to my mother’s basement (to hide from the sun and other posters) and use a dial up connection to read Mortimer’s posts. One of my last assessments was an analysis of Mortimer addressing his potential based on pedigree, style and value:

"The hero in these quarters for months, Mortimer seems on the verge of harnessing his headstrong nature at precisely the right moment. As long as the moderators remain sensible, Mortimer can be in prominent view in every Nerdy Trail room. We expect a bored finish at worst, and a history maker at best."

I read “Saratoga Urinal” in my mom’s basement (as usual). The thread unfolded thrillingly, and when they reached the top of page 10, Mortimer had every chance to win. By the time they started threatening lawsuits, the tears had started to well in my eyes.

Aside from many vaporizings, something much more meaningful came in for me with Mortimer that day. I realized with each step "The Predator" took down the Nerdy Trail, that I had found something I thought was lost long ago for myself and my future. His win validated my hope that I might still find a niche in horsey boards through a man that rewards confidence in one's own opinion about TrueSwine like few others can.

Mortimer’s success changed the lives of Hossy, Thebby and UnclyTrust; the fortunes of HOs everywhere; and countless fans of Mortimer. And given the wondrous things that have happened for me during the breadth of his career, inexorably, my own. For that, my appreciation of Mortimer will never wane.

;)

Crinkle



Trash Can

Bravo! Bravo!

Thank you so much, Sighty

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that is some seriously funny sh*t....you sir have reached new heights in internet posting! Well done.

THEBBY!!

Too kind - I appreciate your internet praise very much.

And I greatly respect your posting prowess as well.

Fucl< off, HO-ssy.

You are ded to me as well.

I read through the selections room. That Maryfield head bob cost me the late Pick 3, Pick 4 and my win bet on BaronessThatcher.
















;) (I kid, of course, and am behooved as always.):D

I laughed.














Fine work Late Fires.















000000000000000

Behooved, Abominable DrugS

I must say that I admire your racing knowledge as well as your fine collection of HO pictures, and hope to see more of both on display in the future.

Rip Mdf Ily

I haven't been on much lately due to work and I obviously missed alot (regretfully the Saratoga Urinal Thread). I will miss you my friend.:)

Well I did not realize the impact was so massive.

I dont know whether to vomit or have a panic attack.

The creativity shown by the board is quite obvious.
You got Pillow who is just flat out anry, firing off some
extraordinarily witty images to counter words. You
got DrugS, God, the Indian who cleary are thoughtful
who I guess I might describe as some of Morton's "clan".

Perplexed is what I am. Guess its like opera. I understand
it, but the presentation ruins the story. Same with this
phenomena called Morton. The thoughtful horde would
transform to a spineless mass. And the initially soft
basically decayed and started to smell.

I could be entirely wrong.

but i dont think so...

Hossy, do you think he has lost his mind?

woah nellie. i'm neither thoughtful or part of any clan.

one can appreciate another person without being in their 'clan' you know.

i am also fully cognizant of nietzche's writings on group mentality and tend to stay away from such things.

morty happens to be a pretty funny dude who's pretty good at getting under people's skin, especially those with a thin skin that have little to no sense of humor.

maybe you should ask yourself why you let morty get to you. and the rest of his clan as well, i suppose!

I know you aren't talking to me. I'm in the Wu-tang Clan, son..and we ain't nothin to f uck with.

I thought he was funny many times.
But went way too far.
He played the antagonist for
cowards of gossip.
And he genuinely tried to
to be hurtful on occasion.
He knows this.

I realize I have fun playing on
the other side. But I get no pleasure
out of pitting people against each
other. Some obviously are attracted to
this form of communication.

Ahhh but I'm way too serious.

The Asian girls you posted for me
was absolutely classic.

But man you can get pis sed off me boy.

The prosecution rests their case.