A letter to Republicans in Power
 

Please sirs (and the rare madam, though not of the kind mentioned in the article linked below)- please give serious thought to ceasing your endless attempts to police the morality of the American people. You just continue to embarrass yourselves. I'm sure this much schaudenfreude, like too many cupcakes, can't possibly be good for me.

http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/..._official.html

And before the Republicans on this board not in elected office (and, I assume, also not creepily obsessed with what other Americans do in their own bedrooms) start yelling, I say, yes, I imagine this DC madam has several Democrats on her list of regulars. And I also say personally, I don't care if the Deputy Secretary of State is visiting a high-class escort service for a "massage" (though, seeing as how he is married, and I assume, having sex with his wife, I sure hope he wore a condom when he got that "massage"). Hell, if I ran the world, I'd legalize prostitution so at least it would be safe, clean, and women wouldn't be getting the crap beaten out of them by men who feel safe doing so because the women can't go to the police for help without getting arrested themselves.

What I do care about is a party that legislates abstinence-only sex-ed for kids while many of its members are apparently out f*cking like bunnies, and not with their spouses (the three leading Republican presidential candidates have five divorces between them, all involving adultery, none of that on the wives' sides). So kids head out into the world as young adults with no credible information on protecting themselves from disease and with a government telling them even French kissing before marriage is bad and could give them AIDS (anyone see Sen. Frist dance around that question? Hilarious, if it weren't so sad). I care about a party demanding, and attempting to legislate, a level of "morality" for the American people that they have no intention of adhering to themselves. Talk about one rule for the mighty and another for the rest of us. I'm sure lots of Democrats are out having sex, too, but they aren't trying to legislate yours, or keep your teenage kids in the dark about condoms. And first and foremost, this is a health issue.

And no, I have no issue with kids being told abstinence is the only 100 percent effective method of disease prevention and birth control (it's true), but I have huge issues with them not being told about all the 95, 93, 80 and all the other percent ones. It's a health issue. Give them the info.

So please, die-hard conservatives, tell the Republican officials you loyally voted into office to drop the "family values" crap and get the hell out of American's sex lives. You can't regulate it, any more than you can eating or sleeping or sh*tting. Because it's that hard-wired into us. So please tell your party leaders to stop trying to make people feel bad about having sex. Tell them to accept it, people like to rut, and the wisest course of action is to make sure they know all the facts about it so that when they indulge, they can do it responsibly, with a minimum of risk. Getting married to have sex is the worst reason to get married and endorsing that course of action is also endorsing divorce, since getting married too young is a leading cause of it. And divorce, at least from what my friends say, is a lot more stressful and upsetting than premarital sex. Tell your representatives it's the smart thing to do. It's the right thing to do.

Or hell, tell them you're tired of your Democratic friends gleefully posting links like the one above. Because it's quite obnoxious of me, I know. And rather like shooting fish in a barrel these days.

And on my part, I'll start telling my Democratic officials to grow spines against the Morality Police and say that abstinence-only sex ed is useless at preventing teen sex and we're better off spending resources trying to prevent spread of disease when having sex. Deal?

Thank you for your attention to this matter, Republicans In Power. Please excuse me. I'm going to go eat a cupcake.

F that cupcake...our new Carmelita bar is the shizzle:D

Right off the top...I'd say you've already had too much sugar!:p

This whole post makes me incredibly ashamed to be a Republican...as it seems I am the only one not getting laid...:(

Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

go with no party affiliation...works for me:D

is there less shame in becoming unwillingly celibate...if you are unaffiliated politically?

Do I look like Jason Biggs to you????:eek:

*note to self....carbs are still bad for you...*

Baba....not sure how you know...and not sure I wanna know how you know...:o

Kev. Your politics have a recurring theme that is biological.

GR,

Great post. Of course it's annoying, because it's nothing new to write things like that, but I agree wholeheartedly.

I don't mind people bringing morality into the public discourse, even when I disagree with it. But I do have a problem with those very same people (read: Newt kissing Dobson's ass) trying to turn around and tell people through law to "do as I say, not as I do."

Even Mike Huckabee talked about it. He's one of the darling conservatives, meaning he's got no chance to win the nomination but he's the one that *many* conservatives would want in office. He said that if conservatives don't denounce the likes of Newt, McCain, and Guiliani being at the head of the polls now, then they owe the Clinton family one heck of an apology. That witchhunt for Clinton didn't come from his lying under oath, which was wrong. It came based on sex, and infidelity -- yet right now our three Repub frontrunners are adulterers. Bless Huckabee for saying that, because it's true -- you can't have it both ways.

Some Christians I know have told me that having been an adulterer, Newt has ever right to speak out against what he perceives to be immorality because he has experienced the ill effects firsthand. To me, that's excuse making. If you **** another woman while you're married, you have no right to talk to me about morality in any sense.

I'm rambling, but that post brought up lots in my head and I loved it, so thanks for posting it.

B, I'm a thinkin' here, in your fascination with five-year-old slang, you kinda misssed my point, which is that the Republicans in power need to stop being the sex police since they clearly like getting it as much as the rest of us do. I'm trying to help your party here, and all you're doing is trying to say the Dems do the same thing, when in fact, where legislating sex is concerned, they don't. Write your party reps a letter, already, and tell them to knock it off, for their own good! Believe me, much as I enjoy the Foleys and Haggards and now the Dep Sec'y of State, I'd rather see kids getting proper sex-ed instead. ;)

Handsome Kev, you're just going about it the wrong way. What you need to do is start some kind of movement, saying that with enough Jesus in their life, homosexuals can become heterosexual, or that premarital sex will lead to incalculable emotional damage, or that sex is only for procreation, and then go on lots of TV news programs, or get into government (lately I hear qualifications aren't even necessary; as long as you have an altar built to GW somewhere in your home, you're in). Make loud, angry statements about how evil all this sexual permissiveness is and how America must do everything in its power to stop it. I promise you, you'll soon have all the tail you can handle. And nasty stuff, too, I bet! Michelle Malkin in a Catholic schoolgirl's skirt doing cheers for you (because she gets her fetishes mixed up).