The ClydeVivor Christmas Contest
 

Play any day between now and Christmas. Open to all including imaginary friends and multiple personalities (no doctor's note required). Any track and race of your choice but race must have at least 8 entries. Please post your picks as follows:

Horse I'd most like to find in my stocking:

Horse that actually likes fruitcake:

Horse that really wanted to be a reindeer:

Horse that really wanted to be a dentist (only Rudolph fans will get this):


Horse that drank too much eggnog and will have trouble finding the finish line:



If the race is marred by scratches before it runs, you will be refunded your race bet.



Prizes-Gift basket filled with year's past fruitcakes.

8x10 Mugshot of Clyde in his Santa suit taken when he was arrested for stealing toys from Santa's sleigh.

An actual Hippo for Christmas.

And finally, a donation to our own Miss Sighty-Poo-Kins.

Again from ~ Clyde

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I forgot all the rules of this contest ,primarily because there are too many.

It seems the races our Multiples( BIG round of applause!) and Imaginaries ( let's hear it!) are picking are limited to those races held between 12-3 and 12-something.

That being so, I would like to announce the selections for my VERY good friend....Bobby "44 Magnum" StingRay of porn film fame.


December 3rd at THE Mahonings Downs.

I think it's #2 in the 2nd,StickyMusic.

Bob also picks the other horses to win.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDIaDS9HhMw

If I win can I trade it in for a Zebra :{>:

I'm sorry but we don't have a zebra. We do have a donkey named Dominic.

That's o.k. I'll pass :D

Is the actual Hippo only for Christmas?




Actual Hippo would be an awesome name for a band.

So upset I cannot find the really sexist part (no not the "man's work" line..the really funny one where the narrator says they need to get the women back to camp). Not so much for Big Run (Hi, Big Run) but to have a conversation piece to share with Rude Boy. :D

Regarding the hippo... I do very much hope that I win it but if I don't a bit upset there is no elephant from the island of misfit toys. :( :confused: :wf
Are we allowed to change his name to Don Quixote (... or maybe just Ote?)

From Clyde



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Dear MS.Longerie,


Answering your last 2 post from the other contest thread:


May you call me Bob?

NO.

You may not.


And stop calling me shortly.




I don't think my selections that are re-posted here (Arletta:thaaaaanks!!) clash with your virulent rules.

Lastly:I encourage you to change the hippo prize to a zebra prize lest the villagers storm your castle.

More lastlier:Withdraw that photo from the prize package.Those charges were dropped when it could not be discerned whether I was stealing toys from the toy sack or ,in fact....ADDING toys to the toy sack.

Maybe we can have both (?). :(

Depends on your city ordinances.

Dear Robbie,

Since there were only 5 horseys in your race, it does not count. Sometimes life sucks. Get used to it.


I have decided to withdraw the hippo (shipping freight was astronomical) and replace it with an ant farm.

And the photo stays. I read the arrest report.

Are these real fruitcakes or code for some of NT's finest?

A Reply from ~ Clyde
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First....I hate you.

Second....I accept your decision on rejecting my contest submission as StickyMusic finished last.


HA-HA!!


Third....fucl< the ant farm.ZEBRA!

Fourth....Stay out of my rap sheet!If you so much as infer any more from it,I will sue your dupa with malice aforethought.AAAAND!----I will publicize the transcripts of ALL of your confessions in the confessional.





By the by; I thought that horsey's name was Sticky Music.I really,really like that name.It seems that the name is actually SaltyMusic, which I hate.I will stick to calling him StickyMusic,but that's not why I mention it all.

I have invented(great example of serendipity)a brand new shiny catchphrase.Hereon----when you feel a song you knew but had not heard for a long time and then cannot get it out of your noodle:That experience then becomes StickyMusic.



Here's some StickyMusic for ya:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcL---4xQYA

Your StickyMusic was the theme song at my senior prom many, many, many years ago. Good choice!:tro:


Zebra it is. I got a good deal from the Fed Ex guy. Just sayin'

Riot was unavailable.

A List from Clyde



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Here is an updated Nerdy Trail PiggyPen list.



1....Daffy Danny

2....Rock Soft

3....Iron Deficiency

4....Crouton

5....Bluffian

6....Criminal Tripe

7....SaliCide

8....Pelican's Barber

9....JMess

10..Alabama Mistakes

11..GenuineCrazyLady

12..CheekyHO

13..Nick'sKumquats

14..CardVark

15..CM Oreo

16..ET

17..onthecontrary

18..The above's plebe grandson

19..NoseDrops(I know she's gone,but she has permanent residency.)






It's long, but think if I did one for NoAdvantage.


And now, hour StickyMusic for today:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAR7KmiCHto

Ten Most Wanted's Play:

GP 12/10 Race 2

Horse I'd most like to find in my stocking: Wild Cat Bouquet

Horse that actually likes fruitcake: Yes to Stormy

Horse that really wanted to be a reindeer: Love Flute

Horse that really wanted to be a dentist: R Bar Lady

Horse that drank too much eggnog and will have trouble finding the finish line: Miss Saturday Nite

Dearest Ms. Deb-O-Deb...

Ahm hoping we might be allowed to choose horsies running in a circle anywhere in the world...

Please advise. :)

You may.:)

Does it have to be a horsie race or maybe one like this? :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkjPPUnbFSw

Must involve horses and odds. PP's not necessary.

Gone too long ~ Clyde



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Hey....TenMost.

Fine work.5 picks and none hit the boards.Going to call you Tenny 5 Picks.Stevie can now have company.


AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!



I would like to make a correction to my PiggyPen list.

Please change ''ET" to "BLT".

Thanks so much.



And now, my VERY good friend(Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy) would like to play this game:

Today's 2nd at the Mahonings Wonderful and Most Delightful Horsey Track....


Race 2....#5,SeventySeven.

I require only one choice because of my superior skill set.




StickyMusic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy_JXPixTRA

Sorry Morty. Doesn't count unless you pick 5.:mad:

It's all good. He picked him 5 times.

Please don't encourage him.:p

A Pastey reply from ~ Clyde



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Bitch.






You should pay more attention to Middle Aged Wuffie.

Here:


Alan Speegish choice at the Mahonings Most Excellent n' Swell Horsey Track for this Saturday----


Race 1....Horse I'd most like to find in my stocking:#1,Dave Baby

Horse that actually likes fruitcake:#4,Fearless Franklin

Horse that really wanted to be a reindeer:#7,Code Talkers

Horse that really wanted to be a dentist:#5,Cincinnati Rib

Horse that drank too much eggnog and will have trouble finding the finish line:#2,West of Denali


Happy now, are ya??







God.







Anyhoo....my dear friends,in your readings of i-net message boards----have you noticed those board owners and assigned dartsmen are best when not noticed? The ones who exercise their big mouths without engaging their vacuous brain and do the most editing and display constant hypocrisy: They make their pitiful and small noodles known to all in this way as if they did not have the finances to advertise these deficiencies nationally?


It can't possibly be just me.

I am not talking about NerdyTrail,although I m obviously not a person of great desire to much of anyone at hq.That's just swell with me.

But I would like to make an award presentation to NT's own----Penny.She started a sporty room thread titled:Ever Miss a Putt? This, I liken to a typical NA thread title.It takes so much effort to mimic NA.....I award her the Plumb Bob of the Month trophy.


Do you think I rag on NA too much?

I don't.

I like to....O=:>



If I told you I had the little c and am going to die----would you believe me? Oh you wouldn't.Even if you did you would probably send "prayers out!!";only the plea would be to hope it's true.It's not easy being hated. Oh I like it, but it's also not easy.Hard to explain.You know what's not hard to explain? It'sYourDime Warner Cable Company.Oh they know their tv content all right, but should never have gone into the telephone biz.It really blows. On the same level you can add in the Hell Computer Company.They enjoy fucl<ing one up as well.



I wish HST was still around because I would hire him to call these two yuk-'em- up outfits for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8qKFtGfUe0

GODDAMMITY!!!!


=:>



he's a GOOOOOD!!






StickyMusic:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-u3VEoxQLPE

Reely Stickie Music


http://youtu.be/j2-IxBgL-SU?t=18s

Even though the race Alan chose only has 7 entrants, I will accept it because he, at least, picked 5 horseys and I have always admired Mr. Speeglish.:{>:
Signed the Management Bitch

P.S. You're getting zebra poop in your stocking.

12/13/14
 

Gulfstream Race 8

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Horse I'd most like to find in my stocking: Mshawish

Horse that actually likes fruitcake: Excaper

Horse that really wanted to be a reindeer: Bad Debt

Horse that really wanted to be a dentist: Fredricksburg

Horse that drank too much eggnog and will have trouble finding the finish line: Howe Great

A very fine Pastey from ~ Clyde


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If GenuineCrazyLady ever becomes President of the USA;I'm joining ISIS.My God! Any dumb topic and there she is telling anyone how horrible her childhood was and how anyone disagreeing with her insane principles should move to Happy Valley so Daffy Danny can shoot them.

If there ever was misplaced NoAdvantagers....it's her and DD.


And now,hour quotes of the day for PLE (Personal Life Enhancement):



But first, StickyMusic!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDbeqj-1XOo




And now....PLE quotes:


(That's Personal Life Enhancement----remember?)




"Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying."


Yow.

That's really,really good.



"If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?"


Deeper and deeper.




"Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth."

!!




Oh gosh, more StickyMusic is required here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT9X3a4W2ww




"Before I traveled my road I was my road."

whoa!




"When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you"


eauxh!!!!





"The future influences the present just as much as the past."




thud






I need more Sticky's:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE3zhu9ROjo






"The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing."


Aw fer fucl< sakes!!




"I am not certain of the hereafter. Frankly, I'm not all that certain of the here. "

=:>




"Because they know the name of what I am looking for, they think they know what I am looking for! "

Inconcarneable!



"If I make the lashes dark
And the eyes more bright
And the lips more scarlet,
Or ask if all be right
From mirror after mirror,
No vanity's displayed:
I'm looking for the face I had
Before the world was made."


Stop it!!




"There's no fun in playing safe or by the rules, but it's not fun being hit by a semi-truck either."


Finally!




"People have forgotten this truth," the fox said. "But you mustn't forget it. You become responsible forever for what you've tamed."


What the fucl< is he TALKING about!!?



"See without looking,
hear without listening,
breathe without asking."


That is sssso hot!



"Weak eyes are fondest of glittering objects."

Maestro!





StickySticky!!:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UEV...=RD4UEVyIyibD8




"One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, 'Is it half full or half empty?' So I drank the water. No more problem. "


!!!!OOOOOOOOOO!!!!





"No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head."



I now have a huge headache and can do this no longer.


May you ponder these and make sense of them so as to enhance your worthless life....so as to make it SEEM to have value.



"We're a dimes a dozen."



ADIOS AMIGOS!!

Well Alan, the horse dentist won. :D
You got $8.90

Well done! :tro: $34 :$:

So far:
Arletta-$34
Alan-$8.90
TMW-0

Toot Toot.... Thanks :)

"One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, 'Is it half full or half empty?' So I drank the water. No more problem. "






YOU ARE WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS AND A PROBLEM SOLVER. WE COULD USE YOU IN THE GOVERNMENT. :)

OK Morty, I'll start the Piggie-Pen list for NA.


Wontshutup

Vitrol

pj's

Justbarf

Bob

Borris Spassky

Underlay

FAO Schwarz

NOAdvantage

Cornholer66

Lownote

ShowmetheDoor

Fabo

BettyFord

Pastey Alert! ~ From ~ Clyde



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To the Management Bitch:


!!!!OOOOOOOOOO!!!!




To BeefHerky:

snarf!!....rolling an' laughing!!

Fine work!


Off the top of my head I would have to add: JC.


Let's find more!




To Arletta:


What's with the "toot toot!"?

Stop it.

Miss Longerie's Play:

GP-12/17 Race 10

Horse I'd Most Like to Find in my Stocking- More Than Rainbows

Horse that actually likes fruitcake- Just Too Perfect

Horse that really wanted to be a reindeer- Undercover Kitten

Horse that really wanted to be a dentist- Violinist

Horse that drank too much eggnog and will have trouble finding the finish line- Bluegrass Special

A contribution from ~ Clyde


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More NA Piggy Pen Inmates:

Attachment 2456


Mucous Whizz

Toaster

Nihilist

Phantom On Welfare

Dark Matter

Languid Dan

CurtisontheTake

Ox Cart

TurnOffHis Mike

BJ of SD

Feckless

Dunce Cap

The Styyyyyyy

Donkies4Honkies

Tits

Drainos

MarkAtTimeMachines R US

FirstTime Deep Six'd

Mrs.TomatoHead