Rectal Thermometers
 

Who knew that if you insert one of these into your baby, they are likely to take a sh.it on you? I sure didn't.

Matches work on dogs.

I believe sticking a match in my kid's butt would be abuse....but I learn something new everyday on here.

I'm not sure that the sulfur in the matches is what does it. I heard it was a reflex, but then...............oh never mind.

Digital non contact thermometers are kinder in all respects, but not sure about the accuracy.

Who said Randall wouldn't make a wonderful father? He's a freakin natural........................................... ............

^^^^^

lost a gerbil once


:D

You know that you can take his tempature under his armpit too, right?

Not as accurate. This young you are supposed to go strictly for the ass.

:zz:

^
new signature in waiting.

Look it up.

Back to parenting class for you Kev.


A popular option you'll see in stores and online is digital ear (tympanic) thermometers, which measure body temperature inside the ear. "They aren't recommended for young children because there are lots of chances for error," says Paul Horowitz, M.D., medical director of Pediatric Clinics Legacy Health System in Portland, Ore. We've found that you have to align them in the ear canal perfectly to be accurate. Temps taken orally, with a pacifier thermometer, may seem to be another way to go. But oral thermometers tend to be as much as 1º F lower than rectal thermometers and aren't considered as accurate for children under age 3.

Ever had to perform and enema?

No. My system is quite fast. I understand the enema's action. My point is these thermometers are small and don't go in that far, so you wouldn't think you'd get a mudslide from using it...But again, my goal here is to inform and keep the potential parents, all 3 of them on here, on the straight and narrow.

I'll take the under.

Your function as a parent is not complete without the following trifecta: rectal thermometer, emema, glycerine suppositories.:)

And Thank God for that.

Do me a favor and leave all that crap home when we go to Monmouth....................

(No pun intended :eek: :o )

Will do.

No wonder this place is so dead.

I'm surprised Randall has such a smart kid.

:D

I'm well aware. I take care of my daughter on my own more often than most men. I was just :zz: at the way you phrased your "go straight for the ass" response.

I just try to be to the point. Parenting is hard work.

It isn't easy by any means, but Amelia is an absolute breeze to care for. I will probably pay for it when she's 15 or 16, but I won't be afraid to shoot some punk ass little f*cker that messes with her.:)

There are going to be a lot of boys with gunshot wounds to their knees running around Va.

As long as it puts them out of commission and they stop chasing her, mission accomplished:)

FTFY

:mad:

:p

Thanks to all the Dads that have contributed to this thread. Great read.
:{>:
:tro:

The great thing about rectal thermometers for infants is that you not only get a 'more accurate' temperature reading, but you also condition them to getting used to things being in their ass.

For later on in life.

Creepy post and creepy thread.

Oh my GOD!!!!























THUD!!

That may be true for newborns, but each time I've brought my kids to the pediatrician's office over the last 13 years, the nurses have always used the thermometer gadgets that are run across the forehead.

Your nurses are crummy and or inept and or anti-rectum.

You watch it. If me and Pip make it to Toga this year, I'm going to have him give you a German Knuckle Cake.

Don't mess with me. I'm the fever king. I respect the power of fever. I know when it is time to start the Motrin/Tylenol regimen, and when to let fever do its work. Just wait until your kid ever starts running 104 degree fever for more than a day, rookie.

Wow, it's like a who's a better father throwdown in this mutha

The unknown substance that Randall sprayed into DaTruth's eyes was actually mercury from the rectal thermometer he had stashed in his boot!

DaTruth is being restrained from re-entering the ring while his crummy nurses trying to flush his eyes. He's screaming forget about the eyes, I just need to start a Motrin/Tylenol regimen and I'll be fine!!

Back to you MaTH.