The things people do in Mortimer's neck of the woods...
 

http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=8082496

A piece from the link:


BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table,"

Now that's what I call getting a woody.

Gives new meaning to "As flat as a board but with the knotholes in the right place"

End tables, coffee tables, ping pong tables sprouting up all over his yard.

hate to see what he'd do to a pool table..

















thud










whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrr












double whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Wanna play table tennis? :p

His wife was found inside having sex with a bumper pool table.

At least we know what to get Morty for Christmas.....

Doesnt the net get in the way ?
[ at least I didnt bring up the skateboard :D ]

Geezes , and I thought the hole in the middle was for the UMBRELLA ! :confused:
Opps just re-read the report................NEVAH MIND......

Thank you. :p

New meaning for getting tabled.












I'll bet it was made of naughty pine.














Maybe he was high and thought his joint was a rat tail file?

















Nah.




















I wonder what he has planned for the water table?


















He should have used a tablecloth and not risked the possibility of a little tv dinner table.

OOOOOOOOOO

Fine work.















Avery, speaking of great boxers, do you know anything about Charley Burley?

If Oinkman was around it would have been a table for two.














But he only likes tables with shapely legs.

























They could have had a round table meeting.










































Ah dunno.

Too kind......and ..no...I don't.





He fucl<s boxes?

Anyone here ever fucl< a radio???

No, I really just hijacked DrugS fine table fucl<ing thread to ask you about him.

Somebody was telling me about him today claiming that Sugar Ray Robinson and every other champion of his era ducked him.

He was a welterweight who knocked out one of the ranked heavyweights at the time and dominated Archie Moore, who was 15 lbs heavier.

Seems like an interesting story.

I'd ask about a weasel....






...but there would probably be too many responses.






























:D

LF...I hate to sound like a know-it-all..........but I have read almost every book known to mankind about boxing and never heard of this guy.









Sounds like a canvas fucl<er ta me.

The other thing is I don't think Ray Robinson ever ducked anybody.

^^^ Fucl<ed Marvin Hagler.































Oh my God.





























I mean ducked.

Any questions I will answer later.










I have to fucl< someone.

!!


This is why I came to you.

Eddie Futch supposedly called this canvas fucl<er the "finest all around fighter I ever saw."

I didn't think so either - that's why I had to come to NerdyTrail to get this story straight.

I absolutely encourage you to go fucl< yourself, Hossy.

ror!!






What the fucl<'s going on around here!?

WHAT!?



Futch once fucl<ed a '58 DeSoto....shows you how much he knows.

Oh geeez....as soon as MS. DESTRUCTO gets back this thread is gone,too.


Ya just can't have any fun around here.

Very well.

I will probably read this and get back to you.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0954392418

Why can't we have fun or why would she vaporize this thread?

This is weird...I never heard of him. I'd like to know the names of those champions he knocked out---they were probabyy 75 year old ex champions.




Again...Robinson and LaMotta were crazy enough to fight each other 7 times......can't imagine them ducking anyone.

Oh because she's a stick in the mud school marm who likes me less everyday.




Notice the threads that go have me in them.

Yeah, I never heard of him either. Other than Archie Moore, Fritzie Zivic and Bill Soose, I don't know who he knocked out. He got beat by Ezzard Charles.

I wouldn't think they ducked him either, but seems like an interesting story.