The ClydeVivor Oaks/Derby SightyPooKins Benefit Contest
We're Back.............................:D
Contest rules to follow (as soon as I write them). Prizes include: 1. The best selling masterpiece "I Am Baffert". This book will answer the age old question "Who is Baffert"? 2. Morty's Handicapping Guide of 4/7 ZC's. 3. A $100 donation in winner's name to our very own SightyPooKin's benefit (C'mon guys. Let's reach that $5000 goal!) 4. Surprise Gift Basket 5. Just added! A weekend getaway at the lovely Martha Vineyard estate owned by the Belmonts (such wonderful people). You will fly first class in Morty's Canadian Spaceship. Drinks and peanuts served by our own MMSC. Contest will include Oaks and Derby days. |
What if the winner of the weekend getaway has nut allergies? :D
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My esteemed Nerdy Trailers:
Thank you for the gracious honor of being in charge of the nuts. I am deeply moved. Now do you want each in a little starting gate with a saddle cloth and a jockey made of a smaller nut or something more like this... Before anyone asks yes I already know if I make Derby horse and jockey nuts and the jockeys are smaller nuts I will make sure Calvin Borel's shell is emply. Authenticity and all! ... or oh wait! Ah know! Can I please pay homage to the orcas (Sighty loves the orcas so even though it's not Derby related it IS Sighty related!!!). I can make each one black and white and in a little tank and then when you eat them you can release them... unless Danzig is playing (is this for made members only?). Since she disagrees with me (I think!) (and not in a mean way Danzig and I do hope you're okay with all the tornadoes and stuff) hers can stay in the tank.. hell I can add some string and draw evil trainers and hers can do sad tricks that will make the children happy. :( Okay now ah am depressed but yes I wanna play too. Was gonna start capping but now what with all the stress over the nut situation I think I will check on my other charity work. (Not on this board). If anyone has extra white power though I am trying to raise a few extra pounds of it for Mr. Hammond so he look... well like how he always does on Derby day. Anyhoo Luvs happy Derby week. Can't wait to play! |
:D Hammond could be cast in the remake of the Scarlet Pimpernel.
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Will MMSC be appropriately Beulah Thread attired while serving the nuts..errrr I mean refreshments?
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Contest rules are as follows:
Friday pick 1 horse in the 11 non Oaks races. You will be awarded any winnings for WP or S. The Oaks, you may pick 3 fillies and will be awarded exacta and tri amounts. If you are having difficulty handicapping the Oaks (and getting your mind off your nuts), our esteemed handicapping expert, Mortimer, will be along shortly with his fine selections. |
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The orcas are behooved! |
> your cards, Sir...
Thank you Ms. Dupa. Let us do the KENTUCKY OAKY. (I begin.That's not a horsey.I'm saying that I begin.) 1—Please Explain OK....I think you are water buffalo in a horsey suit. Happy? crinkle.... trash can 2—Ria Antonia I think I saw this one on SmutWorld. She wore all kinds of leather straps and was nude.She DID a horsey!! no crinkle.... trash can 3—Sugar Shock Brown Sugah was her exercise rider and that's how she got diabetes. Insulin is an illegal drug in horsey racing.Isn't it? Ah dunno. ANYWAYS!.... crinkle.... trash can 4—Rosalind keepah! 5—Thank You Marylou Should it not be Hello Mary Lou? Doesn't matter. crinkle.... trash can 6—Kiss Moon eeeee-u!!!! No way! crinkle.... trash can 7—Fashion Plate keepah-keepah!! 8—Aurelia's Belle I think EightBelles' number in the KD was 8. In deference to that wonderful horsey....I will just put this one as a ''probably not". 9—Unbridled Forever Oh mine GOT!!!! KEEPAH-KEEPAH-KEEPAH-KEEPAH!!!!!!!! 10—Empress of Midway "I hate the elite." Said nuff. crinkle..... trash can 11—My Miss Sophia I don't think anyone's sofa should be in a horsey race. I may have misread the name....oh well. crinkle.... trash can 12—Got Lucky You think you're lucky;wait until you see who got the 13 hole. crinkle.... trash can 13—Untapable Well,well,well. Lucky Miss 13. You're untappable for a reason....you high class snobby bitch. whiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!! 1....UnbrideldForever 2....FashionPlate 3....Rosiland That would be yer 9-7-4 There ya go. |
i have to wizz
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If I recall, weren't you the one who thinks losing is actually winning???:D |
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anywho, ok now I get it. All 12 races?, that seems like a lot of work. |
Morty's Friday picks:
R1....#2,Cookie R2....#4,LadyMargarita R3....#5,FalseClock R4....#11,PlayItLoud R5....#4,MagicUnion R6....#2,UnDrafted R7....#6,Annoy R8....#7,FiftyShadesOfGold R9....#9,ALittleBitSassy R10..#2,WillTakeCharge R11..#9,UnbridledForever----9-7-4 boxed R12..#12,SecretJourney |
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race 1 #1 In Haste (do we have to use these in a sentence also?:D)
race 2 #3 Call to Action (i have to wizz again) race 3 #6 Battle Tale race 4 #8 Piceance race 5 #6 On Fire Baby race 6 #6 Positive Side race 7 #1 Thunder Road (I know, I did that on purpose) race 8 #3 Designer Legs ( hope so, she looks like crap on paper) race 9 #6 A little Bit Sassy :{>::{>: Race 10 #1 Moonshine Mullen race11 #6#4#11 race 12 #11 French Press |
Wait a minute ah am confused... did Herkie already win? :(
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R1 - 6 Jamaican Smoke
R2 - 7 Senior Prom R3 - 3 Flipcup R4 - 2 Song to You R5 - 6 On Fire Baby R6 - 6 Positive Side R7 - 12 Express Model R8 - 8 Mufajaah R9 - 4 Candy Kitty R10 - 8 Appealing Tale R11 - 5 Thank You Marylou - 9 Unbridled Forever - 13 Untapable R12 - 8 Taketheodds |
R1 - 4 Irish Lute I like da Lute
R2 - 7 Senior Prom R3 - 3 Flipcup R4 - 2 Song to You R5 - 5 Devil's Cave R6 - 3 Storm of the Century I can smell the rain coming..... R7 - 6 Annoy R8 - 10 She's a Tiger grrrr.... R9 - 4 Candy Kitty meow...... R10 - 2 Will Take Charge no matter, I lose bettin on him or against him :rolleyes: R11 -4 Roz, 7 Fish Plate, 13 Unstapable R12 - 8 Taketheodds Good luck on your trip!! |
R1 - Cookie
R2 - Centella R3 - Run Hide My Girl R4 - Dramedy R5 - On Fire Baby R6 - Marchman R7 - Southern Honey R8 - She's a Tiger R9 - Little Journey R10 - Golden Ticket R 11 - Rosalind ex/tri boxes - Rosalind, Ria Antonia, Aurelia's Belle R12 - Toy Land Still looking at races 3, 4 and 9 but wanted to have something here incase ah forget! |
What a fun contest! Can I use my advanced tool?
1 - #7 Brazen Persuasion 2 - #3 Call to Action 3 - #7 She's Justified :{>: 4 - #5 City Connect 5 - #3 Unlimited Budget 6 - #8 Sum of the Parts 7 - #5 Soul Title 8 - #10 She's a Tigger 9 - #4 Candy Kitty 10 - #2 Will Take Charge 11 - #3 Sugar Shock, #9 Unbridled Forever, #13 Untapable 12 - #10 Dream of Bertie :D |
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From Mortimer:
If you wouldn't mind: I want BeefHerky disqualified for 2 infractions: 1....Whizzing without permission. 2....Touting how he has already lost before any contest race has run. |
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Mr. H. Horse may continue to play. His early bird prize is a porta-potty which will be delivered shortly. Please confine your wizzing to said potty. |
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1. The best selling masterpiece "I Am Baffert". This book will answer the age old question "Who is Baffert"? (Hint as to the author: I am also an alchemist.) 2. Morty's Handicapping Guide of 4/7 ZC's. ( Be the first to find out why the #2 was dropped to the fourth position and replaced by the #9!) 3. A $100 donation in winner's name to our very own SightyPooKin's benefit (C'mon guys. Let's reach that $5000 goal!) ( Uhm,will that be coming from Nincompoop?) 4. Surprise Gift Basket ( CLYDE INSIDE!!!!) 5. Just added! A weekend getaway at the lovely Martha Vineyard estate owned by the Belmonts (such wonderful people). You will fly first class in Morty's Canadian Spaceship. Drinks and peanuts served by our own MMSC. (Ned and Hydra will be on board telling gross rich people jokes.Side note: If you are allergic to peanuts----tough.Get your own Hershey bar.) |
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My Friday picks:
1. Irish Lute (YAY IRISH!) 2. Call To Action 3. Tiz Windy 4. Play It LOUD!!!!!!!!!! 5. Molly Morgan 6. Marchman 7. Ireland (AGAIN, YAY IRISH!) 8. In honor of my favorite aunt-Our Amazing Rose 9. A Little Bit Sassy 10. Will Take Charge 11. Unbridled Forever, Untapable, Please Explain 12.Toy Land |
Yet another message from Morty:
Tapiture has been scratched from the derby. (Only trying to scare the dickens out of SightyPoo.She doesn't know how to read inside of parenthesis.) Also....My rented Canadian Spaceship will not be available since my check bounced.....whoa!!.....no, I meant since it is in for emergency brake replacement. Instead, the winner will be chauffeured in comfort and grand style via the Starship. Finally, I think Old Wuffie is not cheating.This serious charge should be investigated.Or, to save precious time.....I suggest he be removed. Last finally, Mr. Hasp----the creator and Big Cheese of this contest failed to greet you properly;so I will: Bad Luck and Worst Wishes!! |
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Old Wuffie will also continue to play (per me!). The best cheaters are never caught cheating. Let that be a lesson to all.:$: |
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tell Morty the dew is on the moor. and I have to wizz
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Well maybe not the whizzing part (I hope) |
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