But first...a thought.






Ah wonder where MonkeyFace KGB .007 could be???












:)











10.....Taking high heel walking practice.Wearing training pads on ankles.

9.......Went to Canada for ear reduction operation.

8.......Studying yon Dillingers GIC collection.Wants to look intelligent in launching counter attack against the Incomparable MORTE'.

7........In can...arrested for drinking while gelfing last night.

6........Pouting...did not receive invite to Nimrod Invitational.

5........Hiding since finding out a ceratin PREDATOR has singled him out from the herd.

4........Lost confidence buliding Sunglasses...cannot see sun.

3........Still in JoeyNoShoes thead ....fears something going on with the "renowned" writer and yon Dillinger.

2........Entered in Iron Cross Dresser Contest.....will try to solve challenging mobius strip while walking backwards through revolving door while wearing 4 inch heels.

1........Arrested again for applying lipstick with rocket launcher on public thoroughfare....what a mess.

I don't know what I would do without you and your fine journal,Zeke.

NoShoes would fill up 12 pages to say the same thing.

Why won't MonkeyFace get a pud enlargement?







Because yon Dillinger would want one,too.

I have decided since I am the Number One PREDATOR here...meaning IdonotchewmypreyImerelykillitandmoveon.....I think a new set of rules need to be laid down.




When in my near proximity...obey the following:




1....NO autographs.

2....NO photographs.

3....And ABSOLUTELY NO touching.

[quote=Mortimer]I have decided since I am the Number One PREDATOR here...meaning IdonotchewmypreyImerelykillitandmoveon.....I think a new set of rules need to be laid down.




When in my near proximity...obey the following:




1....NO autographs.

2....NO photographs.

3....And ABSOLUTELY NO touching.[/QUOTE]



oh darn!



PeeGarden will have a field day with that one!

=:>







PeeGarden IS a field day.

Druggy-Poo is going to be very upset when he sees the interview I posted with Discreet ScaredyCat:


Reporter: Good morning Mr. Cat, it has been said that you are very brilliant, do you agree?

D. Cat: I'm alright I guess, but you know who has the biggest balls in town? Street Sense. That dude carried the Juvie Jinx on his back to victory in the Kentucky Derby. I mean have you seen some of the holes he has bullied his way through? I wish I had those balls, heck...I need 4 months off if the wind blows by too quickly.

Reporter: Speaking of time off, how is your throat recovering?

D. Cat: Godolphin didn't want to ruin my good boy image, but truth is, I was being stalked by this dude, DrugS, and couldn't take the pressure any longer and took up chain smoking. I mean, the guy thinks I can walk on water and stuff...I can't even run on dirt on a regular basis!

Reporter: So when can we expect you to race again?

D. Cat: I refuse to run again until the State of New York recognizes my Civil Union with Flashy Bull.

Reporter: Such a shame. It was good speaking with you Mr. Cat.

D. Cat: Likewise.

Druggy-Poo is going to be very upset when he sees the interview I posted with Discreet ScaredyCat:
-----------------


ror!!



rule-eng en leff-eng!!!








FINE WORK!!!




OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO





!!

that was truely awesome. Shirley DrugS will get a kicky-poo out of that!

Druggie Poo takes his P_ussy













Cat




very seriously!

Why Sighty-Poo..




...I now have no doubt you can hear the music quite clearly.

I haD many before.....then it lessened...but now it is very obvious.





I'm pleasantly floored.

Really.






10 more pies for you:

OOOOOOOOOO

ror!!




I am now officially THE DRRRRAG-OWN!





UPS!





I mean THE PREDTAOR.











Do not fucl< with a meat eater......even though I merely kill it and move one.



Well I mean I do have to eat sometimes...but not often.

Neither Emily nor Erica are my girlfriend --- OR resemble a horse.

You are a bad person Mortimer!

!



Oh yes...I am a very bad person.

But I'm a little lost.... r u saying Sighty-Poo is Erica?

Lies! All of it!

The real Discreet Cat can blow bubbles with beef jerky.....

Be VERY affraid of him!

She is not....

That I know of anyway.


However, she will pay for using the Discreet Cat's name in vain.

Oh it's very bad to make fun of Miscreant Cat.


So Erica dumped you as well?

Don't take it badly...happens to the best of us.Why Carla dumped me for CJ,Bogs,AndyPanda,JK and LaBarge.....oh..and MiracleWhip.



I think you should give Sighty-Poo a chance...I really think it would work out well.

I think it best you use me as a mediator here.I know just how to do this.....would you like me to ask her if she would go out with you?




Let me know.

Well he has passed the once over test...right name...right jockey...right track. So far so good. Let's see what his program number is as well as a few other things.

Looking like a stage 5 ZC bet to me.

Hossy seems a bit down in the ash dumper as well.





Maybe I can help,sir.

Would you like to go out with KGB .007?








ROR!!


KIDDING-KIDDING!








Name someone....I can help....or would you rather I picked one out for you?

Just don't ask for BrownSugar....I don't think she likes me anymore.

ror!



It's yon Dillinger and KGB .007!

MORTY!

Too kind of you to inquire about my whereabouts.

I took a sabbatical to ponder that age old question:



What is worse: a gelfer, or a boozehound?

Finding no easy answers, I thought I would return.

I see that my pleas to the man upstairs (Steve) have not worked and you are still locked in these rooms. Phooey.

!!!!




My good friend!

Fine and HIGHLY amusing work ,sir.

Stay with us now....there may be a HUGE ZC coming up in that Arlington Secretariat this Saturday.There may be more excitement here than there was for Sumwunsdonkey last race.




Yes..I am still in bondage.


Double phooey.

:cool:

I will stay tuned.

Since I am not far from Arlington, I can say that this is the most exciting news to hit the Chicagoland area since Sumwonbeatsme graced the polytrack.

:rolleyes:

Behold.



Do you see this fellow bud boardies....I mean board buddies?

He paints as does the symphony player.

Yet he does not steel as Bach took from ProcolHarum.







For there is no reason as the truth is plane to see.

ror!

OOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOO

Your post has not turned me a whiter shade of pale, but rather pink from embarassment.

:o

Too kind, sir.

Oh forget it.






Great knowing you have depth.

Some here merely skim the water.



Oh.

CapperZeke beat me like a drum at poker last night....I taught him too well.

He pulled the 3 pair trick on me.






As you know....


...I really hate when that happens.

The three pair trick? Is that like the Italian Rope Trick?

It's worse.....in the I-Rope trick one merely dies.





The 3 pair trick makes you sick having held aces over kings and raising like a fool.

Morty,



That was beginner's luck.



That's why I sat in the chair backward, I was afraid you'd read my poker face.



I've learned a lot from you.


Those little cigarettes you introduced to me were tasty.




Except it took me a long time to get home.



Are we still on for square dancing this weekend?

Too funny Zeke.

That's why I didn't have to seat you in front of the mirror.


In that 7 card stud game I could see you had 10's over 6's on the table.




And I did see the pair of 9's in your hand....I juts didn't think you would remember the 3 pair trick.






If you liked the cigarettes...wait until I put out my bowl of treated sen-sen next time.








Automatic Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.










ror!!....square dancing!?












Who do you think I am.....MonkeyFace!??

I think last night was to end it here for me.

Dave's bright idea made me forget.

(Oh...Dave...the other idea is back on.)




Anyhooo.......I'm thinking the last broadcast will be live and direct from the smelley ol' varmint grounds of Sara's Toga.


Any TrueSwine wishing to challenge me in person will be destroyed.

This includes you HickoryDickoryValley..Hill...whatever.

OK, Druggie...after a bit of exercise I've returned with a clear head and I would like to seek your forgiveness.





I'm sorry.




I didn't mean to break your heart.



hmmmm, how can I make you forgive me?











Oohhh! I KNOW!











Ready?




















Whoa! Settle down big boy! I'm not that sorta girl.

















So anyway, where were we?














oh that is right.....







Please forgive me Druggie, for I love Discreet Kittypoop too.

This thread must be retired to the Charles Hatton room one day. Some classics by Sighty - poo (Hi!).

and of course,

If ya cant take the heat





stay out of the Cajun!


I mean kitchen!






ten pies, all around!

ha,ha!

I am very scared to ask what Beast ice is.

I'm also thinking someone never got over Freud's Anal Stage of Development. :eek:

icky.

But the neon colored anal beads were ok?

I still haven't found my presents.







And I took my WhiterShadeOfPale album and painted it deep purple.

That may hush it up.

I know Carmen still won't fess up about Rachmanirov.

It didn't work for him....and it won't work for KGB .007.

There are no stupid presents here.






Uh...thanks loads.