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Mortimer 10-16-2007 07:57 AM

Hola Mortimero

Way to hack up a beautiful name.


I heard it's Hispanic month,

Oh...boy that's interesting.


just doing my part.

Spend more time on lipstick application.


BTW, very nice poem.

Do you see BTW here? ( is it me ? )


I've been out of town a lot but next week I get to go to..........

NEW JERSEY!!!!!!

Can you say NJ VACAY PHOTOS!!!!!!!?



Now really, who's gonna beat the Rockies?



You have a 50% shot at getting the right answer.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hi_im_god
my winter haiku:

soft cold envelopes
her hand warm and firm in mine
where is the dick joke?


Haven't seen Darden for sometime.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 08:49 AM

Just wanted to let Dannie and all you other redneck fans know that THE Ohio State FightingMadDog Buckeyes are still THE Number One FB team in all the land.












Good.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 08:50 AM

Oh look at that ...would you?






They are still Number ONE.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 09:08 AM

Michigan is GETTING 2.5 at Illinois?




Well that's one I would have to take.

The Bid 10-16-2007 09:56 AM

Mort you going to Thistley Downs today

Mortimer 10-16-2007 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Bid
Mort you going to Thistley Downs today


!!


ror!




But...no.






Only like live racing.

I would like to extend an interesting opinion and that would be the opening 4/7 DD at The Beulah.

I have other likes in that card today as well.

r u going today?

Mortimer 10-16-2007 10:17 AM

For my nimrod SECOND friends....the top 5 all time NCAA DV.IA winning pcts.:


1
Michigan
860
284
38
1182
0.744
28993
12510
16483

2
Notre Dame (IN)
821
270
41
1132
0.743
28523
13524
14999

3
Ohio St.
787
301
53
1141
0.713
26092
13502
12590

4
Texas
810
316
34
1160
0.713
27273
14407
12866

5
Oklahoma
765
295
53
1113
0.711
29180
13641
15539







Gee.


Ah don't no SECOND teams in thar.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 10:31 AM

I'll be darned. Ah wonder if any are in the top 5 in all time wins?

Let's take a look...shall we?


Should be fun.






1
Michigan
860
284
38
1182
0.744
28993
12510
16483

2
Notre Dame (IN)
821
270
41
1132
0.743
28523
13524
14999

3
Nebraska
812
326
41
1179
0.706
28723
14579
14144

4
Texas
810
316
34
1160
0.713
27273
14407
12866

5
Ohio St.
787
301
53
1141
0.713
26092
13502
12590







Weeeee dawgies!!!



Ah still don't see none!

Mortimer 10-16-2007 10:33 AM

Uh...what ah do see is two big ten teams in both listings.









HEY!

Waid a minud!






Ain't those two also what the US Congress declared as the greatest rivalry of all time in any sporty??








Yup....ah was right again.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 11:19 AM

Gosh..I hope I'm not rubbing it in.........buuuuut....




It seems LSU had problems winning...so they hired Saban...an Ohio coach...and won an NC.



Oklahoma did,too,,,,so they hired Stoops, an Ohio caoch....don't ya know....and won an NC.



So Flory-Dah got the right idea and hired an Ohio coach....and won an NC.






Interestingly enough...Ohio State hired a guy that did pretty well....but not quite good enough.....the Cooper guy....a Tan-ah-see coach. So they hired Tressel ,an Ohio coach, and won an NC.












Is this beginning to sink in?

Late Fires 10-16-2007 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortimer
Uh...what ah do see is two big ten teams in both listings.









HEY!

Waid a minud!






Ain't those two also what the US Congress declared as the greatest rivalry of all time in any sporty??








Yup....ah was right again.

You're doing fine work here. You really are.

Did ya know that over the past three seasons, while everyone has been oh so excited about the SECOND, and down on the mighty Big Ten, all that southern speed has failed to do so in seven of the eleven meetings between the conferences?

Mortimer 10-16-2007 11:37 AM

May I say ....entirely too kind...Late Fires?






To answer your fine question...


...that southern speed is known up here in the North as.....benzedrene.

We never touch the stuff.....which is also why they can't touch us.











They are now COMPLETELY AND HABITUALLY RUINED!

Mortimer 10-16-2007 11:41 AM

Step into the Vaporization Chamber MS. Cajunatah...Dannie...and whathaveyou.



Oh I'm afraid wiggling your tail feathers isn't going to work now....a little late for that.







Set VC to FULL VAPORIZATION.
















BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!!










































Work good.

TheSpyder 10-16-2007 12:32 PM

Yea Ohio...glad I left Morty
 

Mortimer 10-16-2007 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSpyder


Hey Spydah!!!






Glad ya left,too!

Coach Pants 10-16-2007 12:57 PM

Well since we're dragging statistics into the mix, and most of the statistics were inflated due to including championships that were won before the invention of pornography, here's a kicker for ya Big Ten homers...

Since the inception of the BCS, which conference has produced the most champions?


You get two guesses.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pillow Pants
Well since we're dragging statistics into the mix, and most of the statistics were inflated due to including championships that were won before the invention of pornography, here's a kicker for ya Big Ten homers...

Since the inception of the BCS, which conference has produced the most champions?


You get two guesses.



I don't need SECONDS.





But the thing is.....we can all grab slices of time to our benefit...no?


What does not lie are the all time simple wins/losses and winning pcts.


But I did mention it took Ohio coaches to help out very strongly with your winning the most BCS titles.


And to bring things up to its most recent date.....what conference boasts the NUMBER ONE team in all the land?




MOUNT UNION could beat ADD!!....I mean LSU.

Coach Pants 10-16-2007 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mortimer
I don't need SECONDS.





But the thing is.....we can all grab slices of time to our benefit...no?


What does not lie are the all time simple wins/losses and winning pcts.


But I did mention it took Ohio coaches to help out very strongly with your winning the most BCS titles.


And to bring things up to its most recent date.....what conference boasts the NUMBER ONE team in all the land?




MOUNT UNION could beat ADD!!....I mean LSU.

Saban is from West Virginia.

Mortimer 10-16-2007 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pillow Pants
Saban is from West Virginia.

Saban went to Kent State and coached in Ohio in his learning years ...so he could learn it the right way.


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