And you know what one looks like---how?

And you?

It's dyslexic humor...you probably wouldn't unerdstand unless you had cried.

My fan....uh,I mean fans have been writing wanting to know more of my current state of affairs.

So let me embellish the relish.




My reign of terror continues at my new locale.Just this morning, I threatened the life of someone trying to take advantage of my good nature.Sometimes you have to make your point very clear.


And believe me....she is much bigger than I am.



A guy named Eddie, dubbed him Slow Eddie....don't ya know, tried sizing me up and decided he had the upper hand.

He now opens doors for me.


Reps travel fast....mine travels even faster.They don't mess with me down here.There are a good number of Mexicans .Most don't speak English.They try to ask me things and I have no idea what they are talking about....so I just smile and tell them it's two blocks down on the left. They seem to like that answer best.After all, they can't speak it so what difference does it make if my English answer makes no sense?



For fun, I give the same answer to people asking me if I have the time in English.

But most are dense, so they take that walk and look left for a clock.



Hang in there...more later.

Well he sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,
He's a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize,
He'll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,
Tell me where in the world is Clydee Clevelander?

Oh stop it.



Am going to do the Sam Phillip for you.Sterling won't give you this sort of quality; you can't always get what you want, but here---you get what you need.






And so................








1...Stephen'sGotHope.


I don't.







nyooooooooooooooooooooooooow


thud





2...CinderTrackIf



blech



crinkle..


trash can



3...


There I go again---God.





crinkle...


trash can





4...AmericanRion


And Godzirra own Sherr.





crinkle...


trash can





5...Kidney'sAndy



Hear about the happy Roman?


I don't know what else to say---very uninspiring.





whiiiiiirrrrrr









6...DaveInDixie



keepah-keepah!!






7...Caliente'--Cigarette'



El secone place-o









DID to win...FineCorinthianLeather to place.

Zen Yadda-Yadda fans....................bite me.

Zen Yabba-Dabba-Doo Yatta!!!!!!!!!! She did bite you.:)

:mad:

:{>: :{>: Zen and I love you!

:tro:

You must be destroyed.

Deep thoughts for the day...


All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind.

-- Kahlil Gibran

Gibran was a fool,but so right on this one.


It scares one to realize,after reading so many here,how stupid so many here really are...only we don't see it all.

:)

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.

What are we talking about Dear?

What are we talking about Dear?


Oh my God.

( shall I answer her????)

I think I hear attack raccoons outside my window!:eek:

They oddly look like KGB and GeekerCounter.

Hard to tell what they looked like after I blasted them with the shotgun.

!!





Probably better.

Glad I don't have to buy replacement raccoons. The recession has hit the raccoon market.

Attachment 1449


Please don't shoot me :zz:

My imaginary friend's cousin-in-law died last night.




I shot him.

:D

I've been a very good board buddy..


I got you two new racoons.








Amish racoons.

Oh.







You certainly have.








Thanks so much.




















thud

Well anyways,no one has shot me.



Not to say it's not coming,but so far--so good.

Interesting note:I must sign in every morning at this hospital in order to recieve a badge saying I'm clean.In exchange they wanted my drivers license in case I abscond with the 25 cent badge.


I gave them my ,"Uh,no." face.

Really a dumb rule and I did beat it.

They now take my Kohl's card which is canceled so what do I care? They don't know it and think they have something of value when it's about as valuable as a Twatter...I mean Twitter account.


But there is one great,true story about the Kohl's card you simply must know,dahlings.


Tune in tomorrow night..you won't want to miss this one.






Nighty-poo-kins.

Sorry this is yet to post, suffering from vapor lock.




But I'm still alive ,although someone did take a shot at me. It missed and a duck took the bullet while flying at about 80 feet.

Had to be Cheney.





I did shoot back ,but missed --only grazed a fence post.....or it may have been Oinkman.

Hard to tell the difference.

I'm eating a cinnamon muffin..I'm eating a cinnamon muffin...


..HA-HA..HA..HA-HA

Pick any whole number that you wish.



Double it.



Add 8.



Divide by two.



Subtract your original number.



Your answer is 4.








More magic from the Amazing MORTE'.

I just spent a little time in that there politics room and I tell you what. I'd rather hide in here than listen to those loonies.
















oh, and I'm armed.













I can do a few chores too.















what?
















OK I'll leave

The one you least expect is the one to shoot you....I'd forgotten that.




But the nincompoops arguing their political bent are out there,aye?

I always sleep with one eye open.

Odd name.



Anyhoo.....I will be bringing you fine Florida Derby analysis this evening.

Viewers will race to this thread.

Thank you sssssso much.

The only horse missing from the Fla. Derby is Joe The Dude

Fine work.

How abut Dude-Ah?




Another form of doo dah.









Not that good,I guess.

What's missing from this race is any hint of intrigue;it fails to do so, lacks pizazz,no wow factor and what have you.

As a girl found to be wearing the bandy aid bra gives you no reason to take it off. But that's Florida;where ancient people go to die.

You rang?
 

Today's cards have been sent by Andy Sirloin's Short Sighted Courier Service.I just received them via Mrs.CM Oreo-Serling's Corn Truck.



Ah dunno.




Anyhoo...heah we go with yer Florida Stinking Derby:





1...SnoringVampire


Oh boy.





Have an idea.



nyoooooow


thud





2...Len Tenor


What in God's name is a Jewish singer doing in a horsey race?? Truly an outrage.





Crinkle..


trash can.






3...Pul-sion



Phoo-ey.




Crinkle..


trash can





4...PleathantPrinth


Now,just a minute here.

Since when are dressage horsey's allowed to mix with thoroughbreds?Honest--I think the dressers would even be embarrassed.





whiiiiiirrrrr




5...GameOnDude


Hang Ten!!






God.




Crinkle...


trash can





6...


Uh oh...ah did it again.




But oh well.






7...Mule


This is getting ridiculous.





Crinkle..


trash can.




8...IceBox







=:>





9...MinersReserve



Wouldn't it be more fun right now to talk about anything else?Once I get passed 8 horsey's I kind of lose interest.I think they do ,too.








Squirt!! :,..;;"",,.




Ah squirted him with mustard.

Was fun.





10...BestActor


Fine and dandy, but WorstHorsey.







whiiiirrrrrr!!







11...RadioHead





Think of the possibilities.

Since I don't want to get darted, I will only think them.

I could say RadioGa-Ga...I guess.




All the same.........


Crinkle..



trash can













IceBox.

Wok Good.

Please...no Friends of Oinkman photos.