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La Derby:
Mr Z International Star Keen Ice Fl. Derby:Materiality The "Don't Buy" Races" Mile-Quadrivium Gold cup-Bathyrhon UAE-Sir Fever Sprint-Farmah Shaheen-Cool Cowboy Turf-Solow-WON! Sheema Classic-Harp Star WC-Long River |
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ROR! |
My Don't Buy Selections:
Mile: Surfer Gold Cup: Brown Panther Derby: Golden Barows Sprint: Sole Power Shaheen: Super Jockey Turf: THE GREY GATSBY :{>: Sheema: Harp Star World Cup: Lea (Go Aluminum Go!) Louisiana Derby: Mortimer Dexter Foxworthy Florida Derby: Upstart :{>: Fair Ground Oaks: I'M A CHATTERBOX |
Another from Morty :{>:
================================================== ======== The D.O.D. thinks of me even when she sees a license plate. She's hooked. And ,why do I not see a throbbing heart next to the winner of the LA Derby??.....hmmm?? And now----CLYDEFORM!! analyzes the DON'T BUY ARID UNDERARM WORLD CUP: 1.... PRINTH BISHOP Uh----no. Crinkle.... trash can 2.... MOS' HONO-BURR HOKKO TARUMAE Own by owna of Sherr Oir----Godzirra. But Godzirra is dumb hosey owna!!!! NO! Crinkle.... trash can 3....PARAFFIN STORY He's going to get his dupa waxed. Crinkle.... trash can 4.... ASKANCE He looks----odd,doesn't he? I think he be a non keepah. Crinkle.... trash can 5....PRINTHETH LEA O-VER-RATE-ED!!!! WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! 6.... CANDY BOY Yet another flamer in the sand. nyyyyyyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!! thud 7.... SHO'T RIDE ON LONG RIVA Another camel deal gone south. Crinkle.... trash can 8.... EPIPHANEIA Yew KNOW it!! KEEPAH! 9.... CALIFORNIA ALUMINUM I sniff second place. EPIPHANEIA to win. C.A. as exact buddy. |
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I like Lady Lara in the Honey Fox. What a fun race. |
Only won on Solow and only picked him because of Freddie Head.:p
Love Dubai Cup Day but never bet much (first time today-bet and lost $8). Didn't bet Solow of course! Fun to watch though. Betting the LA Derby and that's it for me today. |
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Good luck with your Derby wager!! |
Too bad none of the ADW's would take my monopoly money. I'm having the best handicapping day I've had in a long time. :o
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A message from Our Dear Leader:
================================================ Horsey Fans....if you did not have California Aluminum to place,Materiality to win and Mortimer Dex----phooey.I meant : and International Star to win,well then you might be stupid.Because if you do not subscribe to the world's leading edge giver(CLYDEFORM!!),you are getting hosed. Know who else is getting hosed?California Aluminum.Again, the brains behind that outfit is not allowed to use them.The two "owners" ( and in this case, they are owners in every sense of the word) are the ones making these boneheaded decisions.I'll be amazed if they don't enter him into harness racing's triple crown.Didn't The Walrus declare CA's Belmont opponents as cowards and cheaters? What does he think he himself is? A hint is ,below cowards and cheaters. By the by;am surprised Lease A Mower Otis hasn't bought into CA to this time. Maybe he's busy in a International Blade Sharpening Shops Manager search. He should hire Dummy Jones. Anyhoo.....the latest CLYDEFORM!! Kentucky Fried Five: 1....FarFromOver 2....International Star 3....Conquest Typhoon 4....ProspectPark 5....MadeFromLucky 6....Frammento The latest CLYDEFORM!! Kentucky Tokes Five: 1....Light The City 2....Forever Unbridled 3....ByThe Moon 4....EskenForMoney 5....DianneStillWorks In other racing news,DaffyDanny is said to be filing for divorce against her chubby hubby forefinger----Tony.Rumored to be doing the same to her unemployed actor disaster husband is Genuine Crazy Lady. Time to strike The Thinker pose and sound,"Hmmmm...." Close eyes,be hypnotized: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDLVYEUb8vU Ever get dem nuclear reactor blues? Boy I do.Yoy....unfun.BUT....my driving hero force overcame this assault upon my fine body and I was able to save the virginity of a fair maiden.This is like a big deal,right? Shore it is.I've also found peanut buttah cookies made by Girl Scouts to be a good aphrodisiac. WHOA! No,no,no,no,no----I meant a good antidote;to the nuclear reactor blues. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDIQ7Otf1mw Ever see Dream House? That was a good ghost movie,but more "who dun it" and love story than ghost story.It sucked me in.Much like e-baboons doesn't.There's a major revolt brewing over there.Someone is not making pay offs.I'm not saying it's Grindrock;just thayin'. It's about 3 PM eastern right now. Do you know where your money is???? Book review time!! Snarf! No it's not! Haven't read them yet , but only I would check out "Plato At The Googleplex" and "Trespassing On Einstein's Lawn"....and then read them both concurrently.Not the greatest idea I ever had.But they do look like fun and I will have my fine reviews out for you on both in about 22 years. Was I right about our Prez;or what? You know, the American Pharaoh.If he doesn't walk and look and act like an Egyptian,then who does?The fact that the Twins of Deceit(GCL and DD) like him is enough for me to not.It's not the meat,it's the motion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nuhja7y4TM Save a cherry;eat a cherry.I think that's the way it should be.No? It all started with a simple strawberry. Do you enjoy tantalizing fruit? Especially when it's forbidden? Boy I do.The Kentucky Derby is but weeks away.It's that day after the first Friday in May.....remember?If we are honest, none of us have the vaguest idea as to the winner. But CLYDEFORM!! know. =;> Get your lifetime subscription----now.Ringy Dingy SightyPooKins and click it in there! I keep trying to donate my body to medical science,but they keep insisting it be dead.Maybe that's why medical science is the guessing game that it is.I mean, you know....if they were trying to bring dead bodies back to life then I could see why they would want dead bodies to study.But since they are trying to mend live bodies-----would one not want to study----live bodies? Try to do mankind a favor.God. Let us close with an old fave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Rn3kTuW0Q Oh! Deb-O-Deb....lllloved your Unicorns, Anteaters, and Elephants.Almost, not quite,as good as zebras,amoebas and archipelagos. |
I am VERY excited to announce that all new CLYDEFORM!! subscribers will receive an autographed copy of Dining With The Belmonts...Such Wonderful People.
This is truly an offer of a lifetime! |
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Anyhoo.....the latest CLYDEFORM!! Kentucky Fried Five:
1....FarFromOver 2....International Star 3....Conquest Typhoon 4....ProspectPark 5....MadeFromLucky 6....Frammento I agree with your top 2 plus Prospect Park. Will add Bolo and Keen Ice. How did 6 horses get in your top 5?????:zz: |
From Morty :{>:
================================================== ===================== Ladies and Gentlemen and members of NerdyTrail:CLYDEFORM!! is mighty goddamitty proud to provide UNMATCHED A#1 fine analysis of the TH running of the RADIOACTIVE WOODY MEMORIAL: But first,I am issuing a HAZARDOUS POST WARNING!! DO NOT read this Genuinely Daffy Danny post in the Padlock.... "the pearl clutching being exhibited about this decision is ridiculous. how many of the people up in arms over CC going to england were critics of zenyatta not shipping? how many saying he shouldn't run on turf were the same people saying wise dan needs to run on dirt? how often do people complain that the best duck the best? now we have a horse about to potentially square off against some of the best turfers in the world-and that's wrong? please, people, be consistent. make up your minds." I never thought I would hope she goes back to:"I agree with everything you said." In fact, do not read that Chrome to England thread....period.The only good posts in there are Arletta straightening out the troubled I Taste Funny; and Sighty's "thud." And now! Ladies and Gentlemen and members of NerdyTrail;CLYDEFORM!! is mighty goddamitty proud to provide UNMATCHED A#1 fine analysis of the th running of the RADIOACTIVE WOODY MEMORIAL: 1....TIZ LEA What is going on here!? Tiz NOT! Crinkle.... trash can 2....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7KK7bXJV2c HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! Crinkle.... trash can 3....LIGHT BIRD Still paranoid. Crinkle.... trash can 4....FROSTED TIP KEEPAH! 5....EL KABOOM Sickening. Crinkle.... trash can 6....DUSTDEVIL KEEPAH! 7....TENCENTAH A bargain ride! Why not? KEEPAH! 1....DUSTDEVIL 2....FROSTED TIP 3....TENCENTAH |
Doesn't Frammento sound like a horsey who should be doing Mint Mentos commercials??
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From Morty :{>:
================================================== ===== Fine work,SightyPoo....as the Director of Marketing for CLYDEFORM!! I do have a suggestion.I like the idea of selling lifetime subscriptions.You tickle it by promising a nikkidie photo of you for each and every lifetime purchase----and we are on Most Easy Street. And I do like your name game for Frammento. Debbie-O-Debbie: If you will look back before the K-Fried Five you quoted;you will see there were 7 horsey's in the top 5.I dropped War Story out.That is how 6 horsey's made the top five. And NOW! CLYDEFORM'S!! fine analysis of the PURPLEGANJA HORSEY RACE!! 1....BLECH BLECH BLECH AGAIN!!?? BLECH!!!! Crinkle... trash can 2.... Can't type it....makes me vomit. NO! Crinkle.... trash can 3....PEPPER ROANI ....hmm,sounds like a South American stripper......has a South American stripper ever won the PurpleGanja?..... smoked it -yes won it-no Crinkle.... trash can 4....UNRIVALED KEEPAH! 5....CARP Pletcher totes another big fish in from Florida. Almost as much fun as a Dave Schwontz interview. Crinkle.... trash can 6....FRA MINT MENTO Al those commercial rehearsals are going to pay off. Click 'er in there Nicky! KEEPAH!! 7....CLASSY CLASS Oh God do I hate this name! Get RID of him! whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrr!!!!!!!! 8....DAFFY DANNY MOON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNO!!!! nyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwww!! thud E-box Fra Mint Mento,Unrivaled and Carp |
Another from Morty :{>:
================================================== ======== CLYDEFORM!! performs the finite element analysis of the SANTA ANITA HIGH GRADE HAPPICANDY: 1....DUODENUM A baffert horsey. I despise baffert. Not the horsey. Crinkle.... trash can 2.... See above Crinkle.... trash can 3....TOSS CROSS THE LINE Good idea. Crinkle.... trash can 4....BOLO Interesting horsey. My breeding expert found this guy has an ancestor in his blood lines who traveled the whole world;an indefatigable land gobbler. That ancestor happens to be Marco Bolo. So keepah!! 5....PROSPECT PARK !!OOOOOOOOOO!! KEEPAH! 6.... Forgot the name.....and yer what have you. Crinkle.... trash can What an exciting race. Anyways.... 1....Prospect Park 2....Bolo |
From Morty :{>:
============================================ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSoOFn3wQV4 Our favorite train wreck continues its assault on all that's good in the world.Yes.....NoAdvantage is still a fertile ground for those refused membership into Anonymous,yet have a visceral need for roller derby thrills.They can't have Motherfucl<ery,and so.....must accept Goddamitty. I predict NA will become the next i-net rebel army and call themselves UBIQUITOUS.They will wear clear plastic masks. =:> Special attention should be drawn upon the Triple Crown Room.No,those are not real posters in that drunk tank.....no,no,no,no,no,no. Those dream world characters have been brought to life by the writing wizardry of Freddy"Fender"Chaucer and Teddy Dostoevsky.It is unknown who the new JihadScientist might be,but it is not GetSmartMan. Then, and don't you dare miss a moment of this exciting action,there is the Interview with a Professional Gambler thread.This quite possibly is NA's most impressive blowhard thread of all time.It really defies science's long time axiom:Where there's smoke,there's fire. The interview itself I found quite amusing.Our pro gambler friend had is own business going very far south in its third year.So what happens? His WIFE says.....she says,''Oh honey.We're going belly up.You like gambling.Why don't you do it as a full time job?" Da WHAT!!?? Honest! That's what the guy said! The rest of it is pretty much a Dave Schwantz reality show.He feeds the gambler questions that the gambler always replies to with,"Oh absolutley." "Definitely." "Very much so Dave."....all to subtly show how sage the interviewer is;not the gambler.Of course Schwantz,further into the "interview",finds a way to make it about---who? HIM!! So fun! Oh yes, Dave let's us know how all his friends called him the best black jack player they ever saw....and , being a great horsey player....Dave Schwantz doesn't need a coach for that game.He IS a coach for that game. I went into the "meat" of the "interview" more than I would like, but did so to set up one of the comments made after the interview.It went something like this:"Gee Dave! Grade jub! You interview so well because(are you ready?)...you're such a good listener." I read that and my life quickly went by me. I taught I taw a puddy cat! Then I fell off Belky's chair!!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!! Schwantz?....a good listener?? That's like saying Johnny Depp is modest! Oh my God, Racing Fans....there is no better way to feel good about one's self than to take in about 20 minutes of NA. In other news,Lauren Hill died this morning. She will make one realize ,one has a long way to go. CLYDEFORM!! pre race analysis of "The Run for the Rolaids"----The Arky Derby. But I would first like to make a commenty. This is a dreadful race held in a dreadful state. I am done commentying. 1....THE TRUTH IN GOOGLE Well what did you expect from a state that houses DaffyDanny? Dreadful. Crinkle.... trash can 2....MR. Z Lucas has announced to ML Baseball that Mr. Z is available Sunday for a one day contract and will pitch out of the bull pen for any team needing his services. Must be the Arkysas Swill. Crinkle.... trash can 3....BRIDGETTE'S ENORMOUS DUPA Oh my GOD!!!! NO! Crinkle.... trash can 4....MADEFROMLUCKY KEEPAH!! 5....COLD CON CARNE FEST ....uh oh.... Crinkle.... trash can 6....CANADIAN SPARROW Influenced by baffert. The poor horsey. Crinkle.... trash can 7....TAR FRIGHT Did you know Arkysas puts tar in the baby food sold in Arkysas stores? No wonder they're frightened. They need Miss "Competent Critical Reading Skills" to investigate. Crinkle.... trash can 8....Win The Space Sounds like a weird thing that would flop out of Tom Cruise's mouth,aye? If the Labyrinth of Scientology isn't HQ'd in Arkysas ,it should be. Crinkle.... trash can MADEFROMLUCKY to win. |
Canadian Sparrow?
ROR!!! :tro: |
Awethome analythith. Definitely worth every penny I paid for it. I'm going all in on Maidfromkentucky. :{>:
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I don't like anyone in this race so I'm going to push the "All but Bridgette (how can she possibly run with an enormous dupa???)"button.
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I think Canadian Sparrow may be a Canadian Spaceship. :eek:
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From Morty :{>:
============================================ Thank you for my trophy ,the awethome compliment and for not picking Bridgettes ENORMOUS Dupa. The current top 5 for the K-Derby are listed below as well as the Oaks top 5.It should be made known.....I do not use Form and The Ninth Configuration for any of my picks at any time. Also noted:I believe Stevie Hawking was wrong when he theorized...."Horserace handicapping is about the measurement and prediction of objects moving through space over a surface within a closed circuit." I think he was drinking too much and really meant: "Slinging human bodies from a catapult and betting on the outcome is about the measurement and prediction of objects moving through space over a surface* within a closed circuit." ( *....The surface here is the ground as skidding distance is calculated onto the hurling distance.) 1....International Star 2....Frosted 3....Materiality 4....Tencendur 5....War Story 6....Keen Ice 7....Horsey to be named later 8....Ditto 1....Eskenformoney 2....Luminance 3....ForeverUnbridled 4....ByTheMoon 5....Feathered 6....Silver Pockets Full 7....Purchasing 2 extra lives here |
Sighty's Kentucky Fried Five Keepah-Keepah list:
1) Canadian Spaceship 2) Dortmund 3) Firing Line 4) Frosted 5) TBD (he's a very fast horsey!) Sighty's Kentucky Okie Dokie Keepah-Keepah list: 1) I'm a Chatterbox 2) Birdatthewire 3) Stellar Wind 4) Include Betty 5) Shook Up |
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================================================== ==== !!OOOOOOOOOO!! BUT....butbutbutbut----When a Canadian Spaceship makes SUCCESSFUL landing( not a CRASH landing) on Nova Scotia,well then he might be a consideration. |
From Morty :{>:
================================================== == Well. Looks like we got ahselfs a new playah heah. SIGHTYFORM!!----???? Anyhoo....it's time to revise the KFT5 by listing the KFB5: 1....Duodenum 2....Canadian Sparrow 3....OneUnluckyDane("unlucky" because he got stuck with baffert) 4....blechblechblech 5....Stanley 6....DaffyDannyMoon 7....The Carp 8....El Kaboom 9....Mudcabbage 10..UpSkirt "He gulped enormous amounts of liquid purple heroin in the hope of offsetting the torturous banging brought about by iodine isotope induced radiation.This is not exactly a high recommendation to the average lab rat as conclusive results are yet to be ascertained.But if ENORMOUS counts....it looks like they will be favorable." HUGE congratulations to Arletta and Deb-O-Deb. For different reasons neither of which I am allowed to divulge. This has nothing to do with ENORMOUS,by the by. Is NoAdvantage aptly named,or what? Could any forum have more posts about nothing? Would any forum allow Tits? I think Tuskalos has to be an elephant.There is no other explanation.Has Dave Schwontz claimed to have been Miguel Cabrera's little league baseball coach yet? HEY! Interview with a Professional Gambler II is on this week at NA! I can wait! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tUHmHaa2Mg r u putzing around with the KD top four? Or just messing with who will win? Or maybe just the first 2 or 3? It's quite the abysmal mess,isn't it? Things might look so easy, but then you recall past KD's....and you should then think,"Oh my God.Why bother? Some horsey goes off like Palace Malice....and phwwwt! Or maybe no one used Rail Guard and Mine That Bird happens. Or a Point Given just doesn't feel like it today." It's all pretty nutty.But that's why you depend on CLYDEFORM!! Because CLYDEFORM!! will rescue you on those nutty race days.CLYDEFORM!! is also now proud to present ....baffertPROOFING!Yes, CLYDEFORM!! has taken into account those races where baffertness can well happen. Never again get stiffed by the biggest cheat this side of the IRS because YOUR CLYDEFORM!! is now baffertPROOF! Well now what do I do? I know that thanks to NA I am utterly used up in seeing terms like,"bank roll","klunk up","sample size"(God I hate this one!)....holy cow;I'm becoming addicted to taking pleasure in reading posts by the frozen,the dead and the stupid.Maybe that's why my subconscious has steered me to books about philosophy and physics.I hate philosophy and like physics but only in its elementary form.....like the apple hitting Newton's head.But ah have larnt the macro is really,really big and the micro is really,really small and philosophers don't care. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5arxGd_GPQ I think someone on NT said the dwarf,Migliori,has been hot on UpSkirt to win the KD.This exemplifies why jockeys names are not found programmed into the smart phones of Mensa members.Those names are more likely to be found on the list of race track terrorists trigger words. "If you are reluctant about stepping on toes,you will never be able to squirt anyone with mustard." YOU SHOOK ME BABY!! SO BURY ME!!!! AMIGO'S!.....LET'S WENT! |
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From Morty :{>:
================================================= Awethome question!! And yes....yes it does! You're familiar with this,I assume:"Horserace handicapping is about the measurement and prediction of objects moving through space over a surface within a closed circuit." Absolutely "drag" is factored in. It's sometimes referred to as "wind gravity." We also make use of E-MC squared.One can infer from this;a fat horse has the potential to run further and faster than a skinny horsey and CLYDEFORM!! makes that calculation easy for the dumb ass....whoa!....I mean intelligent horsey player. |
I am off for the weekend but just wanted to say that the headline for Saturday's edition of CLYDEFORM should read " GO SHARED BELIEF"!!!!!!!!!!!!:)
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Have a great weekend!
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:D
Is that Itsaknockout and Dortmund? :eek: ;) |
From Morty :{>:
================================================== ===== The Updated Kentuky Fried Chicky Dinah!: 1....International Star 2....Frosted 3....Materiality 4....Tencendur 5....MadeFromLucky 6....Frammento 7....Keen Ice 8....Firing Line 9.... 10.. 11.. 12.. If you have been owned by JMess----your street cred is now all gone. Anyone have a site for the derby horses foal dates? This is very important. One of the most savage of all barbaric LZ tunes,it's blues based as is just about all music.You might want to check BLUES STORY A Documentary on u-tubey. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mln0RciE2o0 I don't have much to say today. But I never do. I shall now fucl< off. OFF I FUCl<!!!! |
It seems as if Lewys Vaporizer would be a controversial horsey over at CLYDEFORM!!
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you guys are a bunch of weirdos. :confused:
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