i think somewhere along the way he said that he makes all these wagers. i never believed it for one minute but this is quite funny.

Why are you two bozo's even giving this jamoke the time of day?

WTF is that? Must be a Chitown thing:zz:

Just passing the time until December 13.....

OOOOOOO

Opening day I take it?

I am expecting the same performance again, no need to improve. Problem is you got yourself a reputation, and now have cut your price down about 20% because of your legion of followers

:D :$: :$:

you start out betting $30/race and now it's $110. i already know how this ends.

you eventually hit a winner and close the thread with a positive roi.

i guess the only question is how long it takes and how much you inflate the bets to achieve it.

the rational thing to do when you're running bad is cut back the stakes to protect your bankroll so you don't go broke. if you're any good, eventually the bad roll ends and you still have money to bet.

that apparently doesn't apply on the internet where bad handicapping inspires even more reckless wagering. this is like no limit poker with play money. why would anyone fold?

Who said i bet 'em?
 

I never said I bet them. Furthermore, I never asked anyone else to bet them. Writing is my hobby. Dr. SwineSmeller

Dear God.....
 

Howdy God! How's Jesus doing up there?

Anyway, I've assumed a $1000 mythical bankroll in this thread, exactly as most faux handicappers do? I.E.> Newspaper cappers.

You will be happy to know that on 8/27/08, I will act as though it is the last card of the season and I will wager my remaining funds from my mythical $1000 bankroll. And Indeed, win or lose, I will resign this thread tomorrow, either finishing a winner or falling flat busted. This should be fun for all, as it will be my last day of pickings in 2008 (except maybe a Breeder's Cup Day Card for fun). Football season is upon us and I must vacate the horse racing scene in favor of my Razorback nation home Board, HogBuzz 103.7 FM in Little Rock. WOOOOOOOOOOO PIGS SOOIE!!! GO HOGS GO!!! BEAT THE HE11 OUT OF EVERYONE!!!!!!

This is a hobby, not a job. And without Rudeboyelvis around to talk bad about me, the zest has went sour. I should not have had Elmoelvis institutionalized. My bad.

So tune in tomorrow dear God, as you either can crucify me for my shortcomings, or you can say "I can't believe that lucky stinking pigchit eatin' Dr. SwineSmeller hit that freakin' bet and cashed out a winner again, just as he let that perverbial exit door slap him square in the @ss".

Dr. SwineSmeller

8/27/08 How To spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga Races 6 and 8
 

8/27/08 How a Horse Spanks a SwineSmeller's Rear, with Dr. SwineSmeller
Saratoga Races 6 and 8, Post 3:49 Eastern time.

As college football season begins in full force this weekend, this will be my last day of plays in the 2008 season, except for a Breeders' Cup Day full card of picks for fun. I've got to get with my home Board, HogBuzz 103.7 FM in Little Rock. My homeboardboys have not had anyone's butt to rag lately in my absence, so I've got to get on home.
Therefore, just as most faux cappers assume a $1000 mythical bankroll, (IE Newspaper Cappers) I will play the remainder of my mythical $1000 bankroll today, either cashing out a winner or going flat busted. It's been fun, and my best wishes to each and everyone of ya'll!! Thanks for the reads. Dr. SwineSmeller
************************************************** ************
Saratoga Race 6.
Richland Creek cost as much as his name sounds. Today at Saratoga Springs, New York, a daredevil short guy wearing a chopped-brim pimp cap will ride downtown on Richland Creek. Back-alley crap shooters are laying 12/1 odds that the short guy gets mugged for his pimp cap in broad daylight.

I hope Richland Creek gets a mug shot. I'm betting $254 to WIN on Richland Creek. Go Baby Go!!
************************************************** ***********
Saratoga Race 8.
You Go West Girl is another high dollar swinger. And another short guy in another fancy chopped-brim pimp cap will ride her too. The same bunch of back-alley muggers are laying 3/1 that this hot rod filly is carrying a pocket full of loot when she leaves the track today.

I'll ride into the sunset on my final trip with You Go West Girl. I'll play You Go West Girl for $255 WIN. Ride on Baby, Ride on...

Dr. SwineSmeller

You don't even play your own picks.....lovely.

If this thread is feeding your writing hobby, it should be moved to the Esoteric Room.











Morty loves pork.

Geeker2 suggested this to him in his first thread to no avail.

From in the Spotlight:

Soooo....yup. One more lie. It's a good thing College football conveniently starts up this weekend. I think you've turned the entire board into Razorback fans as we all celebrate your departure.

Then we could get Morty's view :tro: :tro:

now I now what he means by creative writing, you can lie about whether you make the plays or not and you can change the plays/amounts of the wagers after the fact. very creative indeed.

Sir Swinesmeller

I have a friend that would love to converse with you. He also has writing as a hobby and is a very good one. Please go down into the Esoteric Central Forum as that is where the very best writers are and the best conversations happen.

Thank you very much kind sir

Thanks Elmo...
 

Thanks Elmo, the Razorbacks are going to need a big cheering section this season with new coach Bobby Petrino at the helm. There are two teams I get fired up over the most. The first is the Razorbacks, and the second is Team Casino Drive.

I must admit that I have been entertained by your posts. Most were indeed quite comical. A couple rolled me out of my chair. I really liked the airplane crash-parked in the tree caption! It fit the occasion. As were other caps posted by other Derby Trail patrons.
No hard feelings bro. It's just the I-net. I appreciate your commentary. Best of life to you and Arlington Jim and BigsMC and the Spyder and Geeker and God and all the rest of my antagonistic butthole critics here at Derby Trail that I may have not mentioned.

Dr. SwineSmeller

Thanks Scav
 

Howdy Scav, I have not looked at the Esoteric Central forum, but I will indeed do so. Thank you also Scav. Dr. SwineSmeller

his name is Mortimer, please introduce yourself