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-   -   here it goes... (http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/showthread.php?t=23142)

Danzig 06-08-2008 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by onebadbeast
Wow, Dont Ever Mistake This Derby Trail Board As Therapy...
We Have All Been Down This Road Before With Women, Pretend They Are Dead And Move On With Hookers. Never Met A Chick That Enjoyed A Gambler Either.
lol

saw a shirt in march that applies here.

'PORN.

it's cheaper than dating.'

onebadbeast 06-08-2008 10:21 PM
Yes. I Was Married To The Same Woman. She Always Shut Her Mouth When The Gravytrain Was In. Her Motherin Law Was Another Story, A Blaaaaaaaaaaaabbermouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

herkhorse 06-08-2008 10:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcs11204
i am 23 years old.... i have 2 sons, 4 1/2 and 10 months old, there names are dominick and christian.... 1/12/04 and 8/13/07 are the bdays....
me and my x fiance had been together since 12 grade year of high school, she got pregnent right after and we stayed together and tryed making it work. no reasson to lie, we were not that close and if she did not get pregnent we would have more then likely never stayed together. on 1/12/08, my oldest sons birthday, she decided to end things, after 5 1/2 years. we agreed that i would stay living there to help with the kids, but i knew that was a impossible idea, and less then a month later i was gone. so now it has been almost 6 months, and it really hurts and sucks, i never thought i could care about anyone as much as i do her, and at this point i have no clue whats going to happen with us. one day she hates me, the next she is willing to work on things, i call her way to much... she says i push her away, then i stop and she gets mad that i dont call... i went from seeing my sons, everyday to now, maybe 2-3 times a week if i am lucky... that hurts bad. she says some mean things to me, things i could never imagine her saying, and she sometimes seems like shes totally done with me... she has changed so much in 6 months, she went from only wanting a family and only caring about me and the boys to what she is now.... she leaves are sons at home with her mom 2-3 times a week and goes out, shes drinking a little, and just making some bad decisions, including listening to hardcore rap music. its like the girl i loved for 5 years just hates me and has totally changed and i am having a real hard time dealing with it, honestly the only time i dont think about her is when i am at otb, even if im losing it just seems to relax me. still to this day i dont know the really reasson why we broke up, she is not the type to mess around, i know thats not it....she tells me it is lots of different reassons, and i just cant figure out how i should play it, i dont know if i should just back off, i am affraid if i do back off, that i will lose her forever... i dont know what to do
Dude, you are very brave for going here.The last one to try went running down the street with her tail between her legs. You have been lucky to recieve some good advice, and you may want to just take it and run. It's sure to go downhill from here. My $.02: You say you have had a normal childhood, but you have gambled all your life. Somethings not right there. Your relationship has very little chance IMO, but best of luck. Right now your main concern should be your kids. Instead of just "seeing" them 2-3 times a week, try to actually spend some real time with them. Using your sons birthdate as a moniker is not a substitute for real love. Give them some of you. Maybe just spend half the time that you do online here with them instead. You will all be better off for it.

hockey2315 06-08-2008 10:48 PM
I find it funny how so many people on here - a horse racing/gambling site - are warning him about the dangers of gambling. . .

herkhorse 06-08-2008 10:52 PM
There nothing wrong with gambling, but I don't think it't the best for kids:rolleyes:

onebadbeast 06-08-2008 10:54 PM
Gambling Is Only A Problem When You Lose!!

pgardn 06-08-2008 10:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hockey2315
I find it funny how so many people on here - a horse racing/gambling site - are warning him about the dangers of gambling. . .
Experience...

herkhorse 06-08-2008 11:03 PM
I think I'll wait 'til my kids are at least 16 before I explain Crists Super Hi-5 ticket structuring. Though I have to admit I was taken back a bit when I turned on the Belmont yesterday and the first thing my 2 year old said was "oh is Big Truck running?" How she remembered him from Derby day is beyond me.

hi_im_god 06-08-2008 11:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by herkhorse
I think I'll wait 'til my kids are at least 16 before I explain Crists Super Hi-5 ticket structuring. Though I have to admit I was taken back a bit when I turned on the Belmont yesterday and the first thing my 2 year old said was "oh is Big Truck running?" How she remembered him from Derby day is beyond me.
she watched the tb derby without you.

hockey2315 06-09-2008 01:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pgardn
Experience...
How would you know?

Bigsmc 06-09-2008 04:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GBBob
Don't take this the wrong way, but you should share this with a professional therapist. There's nothing wrong with going in for a mental "check up" once in a while and you have some legit issues that friends, OTB or DT aren't going to fix. If money is tight, there should be therapists available through your insurance or even county, local hospitals, etc. All that should truly matter to you are your children and that should be the starting point for whatever decisions you make with their Mom.

You should also make sure your rights as a Dad are protected as she can't dictate when you see the kids like she is. And if that other stuff is is true, you have tough decisions to make about stepping in and protecting your children even if it risks alientating her. You don't have to be together to do what's best for the kids.
!!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

MaTH716 06-09-2008 09:10 AM
Some sort of therapy is definatley a good start. Just you or even better both of you together, if you still hope of making this work. I would also see what your rights are when it comes to the children. Maybe there is a chance that you can get custody (if that's what you want). But it sounds like she is going through some kind of phase, trying to catch up on everything that she missed to have 2 kids. Maybe that's why she has this love/hate thing for you. Deep down she probably cares for you, but then when she starts thinking about the sacrifices she made for you she gets angry. I don't know what kind of mother she is, so maybe she doesn't want custody (that's a longshot). You really need to just give her some space and hopefully she will grow out of this phase and realize what she has. I would make sure that there is no shady stuff going on when she is at home with the kids. Obviousally the kids will need some extra special with all that's going on, they are the #1 priority.
As for the OTB, it isn't a big deal if you are going there for personal relaxation and enjoyment. But to go there as a way out of dealing with the situation then I could see it being/turning into a problem.
But definiatley talk to a professional!
Good Luck.

GBBob 06-09-2008 09:12 AM
http://www.metanoia.org/imhs/

If you don't want to start face to face, maybe this is an option.

geeker2 06-09-2008 09:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GBBob
http://www.metanoia.org/imhs/

If you don't want to start face to face, maybe this is an option.

or this www.redtube.com :D

GBBob 06-09-2008 09:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by geeker2
or this www.redtube.com :D
lol..

pgardn 06-09-2008 10:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by hockey2315
How would you know?
Im old.

And went to Mexico to bet before racing was legal in Texas.
Mexico does not play fair btw.(cracks me up when people
think the payouts are wrong here)

TheSpyder 06-09-2008 12:10 PM
You obviously have no one to talk to or you would not be putting this out here. Therapy is a must and you only have to go once to see it helps. You're not looking for answers but rather trying to find our what your deepest feeling are. You're not going to find that here.

Go get help...sooner than later. You're both young. Not that I have any idea who you are or what your situation really is after reading for 5 minutes, but tell her she's right and it is over and worry about the kids. I think you've gotten 3-4 people that have said this. Right now she thinks she can have it both ways, having fun, and having you if she wants. Take the latter off the table as an option and see what happens.

That will be $50

Dr. Spyder

GBBob 06-09-2008 12:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSpyder
You obviously have no one to talk to or you would not be putting this out here. Therapy is a must and you only have to go once to see it helps. You're not looking for answers but rather trying to find our what your deepest feeling are. You're not going to find that here.

Go get help...sooner than later. You're both young. Not that I have any idea who you are or what your situation really is after reading for 5 minutes, but tell her she's right and it is over and worry about the kids. I think you've gotten 3-4 people that have said this. Right now she thinks she can have it both ways, having fun, and having you if she wants. Take the latter off the table as an option and see what happens.

That will be $50

Dr. Spyder
Dear Dr Spyder..I got a horse going on Friday at AP..Can you please talk to her and get her in the right frame of mind.

Thank You

Samarta 06-09-2008 12:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcs11204
i am 23 years old.... i have 2 sons, 4 1/2 and 10 months old, there names are dominick and christian.... 1/12/04 and 8/13/07 are the bdays....
me and my x fiance had been together since 12 grade year of high school, she got pregnent right after and we stayed together and tryed making it work. no reasson to lie, we were not that close and if she did not get pregnent we would have more then likely never stayed together. on 1/12/08, my oldest sons birthday, she decided to end things, after 5 1/2 years. we agreed that i would stay living there to help with the kids, but i knew that was a impossible idea, and less then a month later i was gone. so now it has been almost 6 months, and it really hurts and sucks, i never thought i could care about anyone as much as i do her, and at this point i have no clue whats going to happen with us. one day she hates me, the next she is willing to work on things, i call her way to much... she says i push her away, then i stop and she gets mad that i dont call... i went from seeing my sons, everyday to now, maybe 2-3 times a week if i am lucky... that hurts bad. she says some mean things to me, things i could never imagine her saying, and she sometimes seems like shes totally done with me... she has changed so much in 6 months, she went from only wanting a family and only caring about me and the boys to what she is now.... she leaves are sons at home with her mom 2-3 times a week and goes out, shes drinking a little, and just making some bad decisions, including listening to hardcore rap music. its like the girl i loved for 5 years just hates me and has totally changed and i am having a real hard time dealing with it, honestly the only time i dont think about her is when i am at otb, even if im losing it just seems to relax me. still to this day i dont know the really reasson why we broke up, she is not the type to mess around, i know thats not it....she tells me it is lots of different reassons, and i just cant figure out how i should play it, i dont know if i should just back off, i am affraid if i do back off, that i will lose her forever... i dont know what to do
I haven't read all the responses and I don't need to to respond. This is as straight forward as I can be. Your issue is about one thing and one thing only....the well being of those kids. This isn't about you and your relationship. Whether you deal with it with family, a therapist, or the court system the welfare of those babies is the only thing you should consider. But you need to deal with it before someone deals with it for you. If she says one day she wants you and the next day she doesn't...guess what? She doesn't, she's just keeping you around for convenience. I could go on and on but I will only say forget the relationship and take care of those kids. If you don't they will be grown and gone before you know it and you will be sitting around trying to figure out where all the years went.

geeker2 06-09-2008 12:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSpyder
You obviously have no one to talk to or you would not be putting this out here. Therapy is a must and you only have to go once to see it helps. You're not looking for answers but rather trying to find our what your deepest feeling are. You're not going to find that here.

Go get help...sooner than later. You're both young. Not that I have any idea who you are or what your situation really is after reading for 5 minutes, but tell her she's right and it is over and worry about the kids. I think you've gotten 3-4 people that have said this. Right now she thinks she can have it both ways, having fun, and having you if she wants. Take the latter off the table as an option and see what happens.

That will be $50

Dr. Spyder

Dr. Spyder..would you suggest that if she has a good looking sister..he could might consider take a run at her ?


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