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And the future of Casey Anthony  |
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The Blonde Phone Call !
"Hi Mom, How are you?" "Hi Sally, where are you? I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware" "Yeah we were, but I got arrested, and they've let me make one phone call" "What happened?" "Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the head." "What on earth, why did you do that?" "Well it wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black & Decker." |
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 A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way. Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes? A: Cuz both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends. Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde? A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking. Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme? A: HumpMe DumpMe. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob? A: Cuz everyone gets a turn. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen. Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex? A: Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers. Q: What do a 250cc Scooter and a blonde have in common? A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box. Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin? A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months. |
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner. |
$7.00 Sex |
I'm sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor's offices on everything from tissues to note pads This one should get First prize....
 I e-mailed it to my Chinese doctor friend; he e-mailed back: "If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician. |
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Best Divorce Letter Ever! |
Wisdom!
A guy is 72years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he a heard a voice say pick me up. He looked around and couldn' see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?' The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.' Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!' The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket. The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.' He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog. |
Cooter and Gomer |
Welfare Check
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes. "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... you started it." |
Chinese Proverb
Confucius say, "If you are in a book store and cannot find the book for which you search, you are obviously in the.....  |
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A woman was in a coma.
She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.' The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried. The husband said, 'I'm not sure. Maybe she choked.' |
we interrupt Chuckfest for a joke
The awesome power of a wife's love A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral." |
Do you mind?
We're on the SOA fest now,by the way. |
A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, " Well, did anyone else see my face?" There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak Then, one old farmer named Bill tentatively raised his hand and said, "I think my wife got a pretty good look at you..." |
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