its blockhead...

In reply...
 

No. And neither will Elmoelvis.

Now that I have accepted Elmo as my patient, it is important to know that all patient records will remain strictly unconfidential, as HIPPA laws do not apply in his case. Dr. SwineSmeller

Dr., I think any operation starts with yourself

You're classic, that's for sure ;) Tell ya what, you've been exposed as nothing more than a dimwitted attention whore and a fraud. I can't add anything more to your brilliant insightful approach to handicapping and certainly can't match your mad, phat prognostigating skillz, ( after all you've managed 2 winners that weren't even money favorites in two full weeks and have more than twice as many win picks run dead last or second to last) so here's the deal - you win. I've had all the fun I care to have with ya... The floor is all yours, champ. I won't engage you in dialog and only post image macros after your daily failed attempts at trying to convince us that a horsey's great grand dad and the fact that someone over pays for a horse at a sale are all you need to go on ( luckily I've got an entire folder of failure pics!!) Good luck to you Dr.!!!

You sure spend a lot of time thrashing this guy. Don't you think that time would be better used on handicapping ??? You sound sort of frustrated. Why not show us all how good you actually are and go one on one with him pickwise for the rest of the meet or are you simply a cyber bully ? Live and let live dude otherwise karma has a way of evening the score...

Rude's prowess is documented. He doesn't need to prove anything to this board.

From the Tampa Meet Pick 4 thread:

You can see for yourself at:

http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/sho...ght=tampa+pick

Mabye if your nice to him, he can help you double your money...

:o Sorry about that... It kind of escapes me that a guy that has his skill would waste his time bashing someone like the swine...

Better yet he should put Dr. Swine in his place publicly. I am sure the swine would be up for it...

jms -
The reality is that he gets called out for the fraud he continues to try and perpetrate here. If that comes across to you as bashing, accept my apologies, it was not the intent.

The point has been made; the guy is a blowhard that comes into a handicapping site and tries to tell everyone that traditional handicapping methods are for the birds because some old guy told him so. Even he can't possibly believe his own BS, but he's an attention whore that can't exist without a spotlight on him. I chose to not ignore this and get him to answer for his superfluous remarks. He goes on to post lies and misrepresentaions about his "roi", including place and show wagers that he never called, yet redboarded into his BS overall roi. That's not only bad form, but discredits the selection room and by extention the great handicappers that post here.
To go further and edit his selections AFTER the races to limit his losses, is reprehensible and will not go unchecked. If you've got a problem with that, then perhaps you and the Good Doc can exchange lies and misrepresentations between yourselves; it's not needed here.
Hopefully you can understand this, if not I doubt anything can be said to you that would sway your opinion.

Thanks for the props, Bigs - Hope you're hittin' 'em well!

8/22/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear
 

8/23/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear
Saratoga Race 11, The Travers Stakes

I would like to have time to detail this one, but nursing shortage tonight, as duty calls must be to work at three o'clock.

I'll play #11 Pyro (7/2) for $40 WIN. I'll get a back-up ticket for $20 WIN on on Wood Memorial winner #1 Tale of Ekati (20/1).

Dr. SwineSmeller

8/21 and 8/23 Results, Saratoga
 

8/21/08 and 8/23/08 Results, How To Spank a Horse's Rear

8/21 Race 1 Saratoga: Bee Charmer got swatted out of midair by an unknown assailant while flying over the first hedge. -$55

8/23 The Travers Stakes: Pyro forgot to bring a match and Showed. And Tale of Ekati would make a better name for a movie than a horse. (2 in the loss column here). -$60

How To Spank a Horse's Rear statistics:
8/21 and 8/23 wagers: $115 bet, return $0
Total wagers to date: $406 bet, $154 return.
WPS record: 11 starts, 1-1-1. Mythical $2 win on each = $22 bet, return $5.60
Dr. SwineSmeller

8/25/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga Races 2, 3, and 7
 

8/25/08 Thoroughbreds Across America with Dr. SwineSmeller
Saratoga Races 2, 3, and 7. Post 1:33 Eastern time.

Race 2:
Tune up the tuba, La Concerta is about to start. When the Saratoga curtain opens in today's second race, #4 La Concerta will attempt to transform her untested instrumental breeding into a Saratoga winner's circle standing ovation. La Concerta is a $110,000 Ocala Breeder's Sale purchase and a great granddaughter of top tuba Seattle Slew. Also in La Concerta's horn lineup are a 3x5 Northern Dancer, a 4x5 Secretariat, and a 4x5 Buckpasser section. Race 2 is an outdoor 5 1/2 furlong blowout maiden special weight concert for two year old fillies, all vying for the winner's share of $56,000 worth of trombones.

Trumpeter S X Bridgmohan will blow hard for Saratoga symphony conductor Steve Asmussen. Oddsmakers say that there is a 6/1 chance that La Concerta will be rained out.

I'll buy a ticket to La Concerta for $44 to WIN. Go Baby Go!!
************************************************** **********
Race 3:
If sire Vindication is an indication, his two year old prodical son, Royal Vindication, may well be credited his fair due today at Saratoga. #4 Royal Vindication's sire is a Breeder's Cup Juvenile champion who only went to post four times in his short career, winning all four starts before being retired to stud. Race 3 is a maiden special weight event going 7 furlongs for a $62,000 attorney fee.

Owner E Paul Robsham Stables LLC dished out a stiff $190,000 for Royal Vindication at the 2007 Keenland September Sale, and in his first and only start, Royal Vindication finished a game third in a not so trouble free New York strip trip. If jockey JJ Castellano can get 4/1 Royal Vindication spotted well early on, a positive verdict will be in clear sight when the field turns for home.

I'm banking Royal Vindication gets his due when the gavel slams today at Saratoga. I'll play Royal Vindication for $44 WIN. Go Baby Go!!
************************************************** *******
Race 7:
Overbrook Farm in Kentucky houses some of the USA's top breeding mares, and Bounissimo is a black beauty of a son of one of those mares, named Floral Beauty. Bounissimo is sired by like black beauty, Cherokee Run, who posted a record of 13-5-5 in 28 lifetime starts. At a Keenland September Sale pricetag of $270,000, unraced two year old Bounissimo surely possesses potential. But oddsmakers have #7 Bounissimo slated in early at a gaudy 15/1. This probably due in part to an unimpressive 5th place finish in his only lifetime out. Race 7 will go for a mile and a sixteenth on the Toga turf for a purse of $63,000.

Second leading USA jockey Robbie Albarado gets the trip for trainer Kenneth McPeek, and given the yearling price tag, Bounissimo should be coded as one of McPeek's top two year olds in his shed.

I'll play Overbrook Farm's black beauty, Bounissimo, for $44 WIN. I'll also play a $4 exacta box coupling #7 Bounissimo with the 1, 1A entry of Hype and Swinging Bernie (5/1). Go Baby Go!!
*********************
Dr. SwineSmeller

Where's the beef?
 

Originally Posted by Rudeboyelvis
Final -
Big = wagered 7,744.00/ returned 13,397.10
Small = wagered 3,065.00 /returned 6,647.70
You can see for yourself at:
http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/sho...ght=tampa+pick


[quote] Dr. SwineSmeller> I went to this thread and I saw nothing in the name of posted picks, only some dollar figures. Maybe I'm missing something? Where's the picks that go with the dollar figures?

Dr. SwineSmeller

You'll have to do that digging yourself. There was a separate thread for each card. That particular thread just had the running totals for the meet.

I'm sure you have the time...

Now you are being an ass. Don't discredit RBE's picking, every card was documented. He and Bigs have helped quite a few posters make some money on tought to figure TB Downs.-----------Tale of Ekati are you serious?

Are you kidding me 3Kings?
 

Are you kidding me 3Kings on the me being an @ss thing? Have you read through my threads and the @ssinine comments of Rudeboyelvis? And your calling me an @ss? You are as blind as elvis is delusional. Just what I need, another patient.

Upon my objective assessment of your case 3Kings, my initial diagnosis states, "It is painfully obvious that you are blind in one eye and you can't see out of the other one". In lieu of your sypmtoms regarding the malfunctioning of your visual acuity, I've made you an appointment in referral with my brother the opthamologist, Dr. SwineSmeller.

Unfortunately though, as your doctor, I must regretfully inform you that your rare idiocratic eyeball condition has proved fatal in 99.999% of all previously documented cases.

Dr. SwineSmeller

Results 8/25/08, Saratoga Races 2, 3, and 7.
 

Results 8/25/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga Races 2, 3, and 7.

Race 2. La Concerta's tuba clogged up as it was ineptly utilized as a giant horse poop scoop in the stretch by jock S X Bridgmohan. -$44
Race 3. Royal Vindication is a second place runnning rat fink. -$44
Race 7. Bounissimo's owner plans to go ahead and invest another $270,000 in his horse and his jockey R Albarado, as he will have them bronzed together and mounted in an amusement park merry-go-round. -$52
Thoroughbreds Across America statistics:
Todays wagers: Bet $140, return $0.
Total wagers to date: Bet $546, return $154.
WPS record: 14 starts, 1-2-1. Mythical $2 Win on each = $28 bet, return $5.60.
Dr. SwineSmeller

8/26/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear
 

8/26/08 How To Spank a Horse's Rear, with Dr. SwineSmeller
Fort Erie, Race 10.

Backed into a corner on a losing streak, I have to fire out today with a power play in hopes of getting back in the game with one good lick. After reviewing about 30 races, I hope that I have cornered a single viable pick...
************************************************** ************

In Ontario, Canada lies Fort Erie Racetrack, said to be one of the most picturesque thoroughbred racing facilities in North America. I've never played a race here, but there is a first time for everything. In today's 10th race, Hot As Ice, a well bred collective grandson of Storm Cat and Skip Away will go to post racing six furlongs for a purse of $10,340. Hot As Ice was bred in Kentucky by Overbrook Farm and Parish Hill Farm.

In three career starts, three year old Hot As Ice has posted a second and a thrid place finish for $12,000 in bank. M R Ramirez will climb up top for trainer Daryl Ezra. While Ramirez has posted only 8 wins in 91 starts thus far during the Fort Erie meet, given #10 Hot As Ice's sunrise odds of 4/1, while firing from the extreme outside, signals this game grey boy is ready for another solid effort today. If only half of Hot As ice's gene poole shows up to race, he can beat these challengers hands down. Hot As Ice will nary find a softer spot than this, save moving to Tijuana. Breaking from the far outside should clear Hot As Ice from trouble early, and if Ramirez can get him with the program early on, he will likely be the one to tackle as the field straightens for home.

I'm banking that Hot As Ice is a step ahead of the class today at Fort Erie. I'll make a power play with Hot As Ice for $100 WIN.
I'll also play a $5 exacta box coupling #10 Hot As Ice with #2 Judgmentday (12/1). Go baby Go!!

Dr. SwineSmeller

8/21/08 Results CORRECTION, Saratoga Race 18/21/08 results CORRECTION, Saratoga Race
 

8/21/08 results CORRECTION, Saratoga Race 1

Originally posted> 8/21 Race 1 Saratoga: Bee Charmer got swatted out of midair by an unknown assailant while flying over the first hedge. -$55

In fact, I had missed the scratch list, as Bee Charmer indeed scratched out of Saratoga's 1st race. Add $55 back to bankroll.

Revised results:
Total wagers to date: Bet $491, return $154.
WPS record: 13 starts, 1-2-1. Mythical $2 WIN on each = $26 bet, return $5.60.

you are as sharp as a tack.

you make selections and have no idea if the horse scratched or not days after the race? I hope you're not trying to convince anyone you actually make these plays. If this wasn't bad before it def. is now.

i think somewhere along the way he said that he makes all these wagers. i never believed it for one minute but this is quite funny.

Why are you two bozo's even giving this jamoke the time of day?

WTF is that? Must be a Chitown thing:zz:

Just passing the time until December 13.....

OOOOOOO

Opening day I take it?

I am expecting the same performance again, no need to improve. Problem is you got yourself a reputation, and now have cut your price down about 20% because of your legion of followers

:D :$: :$:

you start out betting $30/race and now it's $110. i already know how this ends.

you eventually hit a winner and close the thread with a positive roi.

i guess the only question is how long it takes and how much you inflate the bets to achieve it.

the rational thing to do when you're running bad is cut back the stakes to protect your bankroll so you don't go broke. if you're any good, eventually the bad roll ends and you still have money to bet.

that apparently doesn't apply on the internet where bad handicapping inspires even more reckless wagering. this is like no limit poker with play money. why would anyone fold?

Who said i bet 'em?
 

I never said I bet them. Furthermore, I never asked anyone else to bet them. Writing is my hobby. Dr. SwineSmeller

Dear God.....
 

Howdy God! How's Jesus doing up there?

Anyway, I've assumed a $1000 mythical bankroll in this thread, exactly as most faux handicappers do? I.E.> Newspaper cappers.

You will be happy to know that on 8/27/08, I will act as though it is the last card of the season and I will wager my remaining funds from my mythical $1000 bankroll. And Indeed, win or lose, I will resign this thread tomorrow, either finishing a winner or falling flat busted. This should be fun for all, as it will be my last day of pickings in 2008 (except maybe a Breeder's Cup Day Card for fun). Football season is upon us and I must vacate the horse racing scene in favor of my Razorback nation home Board, HogBuzz 103.7 FM in Little Rock. WOOOOOOOOOOO PIGS SOOIE!!! GO HOGS GO!!! BEAT THE HE11 OUT OF EVERYONE!!!!!!

This is a hobby, not a job. And without Rudeboyelvis around to talk bad about me, the zest has went sour. I should not have had Elmoelvis institutionalized. My bad.

So tune in tomorrow dear God, as you either can crucify me for my shortcomings, or you can say "I can't believe that lucky stinking pigchit eatin' Dr. SwineSmeller hit that freakin' bet and cashed out a winner again, just as he let that perverbial exit door slap him square in the @ss".

Dr. SwineSmeller

8/27/08 How To spank a Horse's Rear, Saratoga Races 6 and 8
 

8/27/08 How a Horse Spanks a SwineSmeller's Rear, with Dr. SwineSmeller
Saratoga Races 6 and 8, Post 3:49 Eastern time.

As college football season begins in full force this weekend, this will be my last day of plays in the 2008 season, except for a Breeders' Cup Day full card of picks for fun. I've got to get with my home Board, HogBuzz 103.7 FM in Little Rock. My homeboardboys have not had anyone's butt to rag lately in my absence, so I've got to get on home.
Therefore, just as most faux cappers assume a $1000 mythical bankroll, (IE Newspaper Cappers) I will play the remainder of my mythical $1000 bankroll today, either cashing out a winner or going flat busted. It's been fun, and my best wishes to each and everyone of ya'll!! Thanks for the reads. Dr. SwineSmeller
************************************************** ************
Saratoga Race 6.
Richland Creek cost as much as his name sounds. Today at Saratoga Springs, New York, a daredevil short guy wearing a chopped-brim pimp cap will ride downtown on Richland Creek. Back-alley crap shooters are laying 12/1 odds that the short guy gets mugged for his pimp cap in broad daylight.

I hope Richland Creek gets a mug shot. I'm betting $254 to WIN on Richland Creek. Go Baby Go!!
************************************************** ***********
Saratoga Race 8.
You Go West Girl is another high dollar swinger. And another short guy in another fancy chopped-brim pimp cap will ride her too. The same bunch of back-alley muggers are laying 3/1 that this hot rod filly is carrying a pocket full of loot when she leaves the track today.

I'll ride into the sunset on my final trip with You Go West Girl. I'll play You Go West Girl for $255 WIN. Ride on Baby, Ride on...

Dr. SwineSmeller

You don't even play your own picks.....lovely.

If this thread is feeding your writing hobby, it should be moved to the Esoteric Room.











Morty loves pork.

Geeker2 suggested this to him in his first thread to no avail.

From in the Spotlight:

Soooo....yup. One more lie. It's a good thing College football conveniently starts up this weekend. I think you've turned the entire board into Razorback fans as we all celebrate your departure.

Then we could get Morty's view :tro: :tro:

now I now what he means by creative writing, you can lie about whether you make the plays or not and you can change the plays/amounts of the wagers after the fact. very creative indeed.

Sir Swinesmeller

I have a friend that would love to converse with you. He also has writing as a hobby and is a very good one. Please go down into the Esoteric Central Forum as that is where the very best writers are and the best conversations happen.

Thank you very much kind sir

Thanks Elmo...
 

Thanks Elmo, the Razorbacks are going to need a big cheering section this season with new coach Bobby Petrino at the helm. There are two teams I get fired up over the most. The first is the Razorbacks, and the second is Team Casino Drive.

I must admit that I have been entertained by your posts. Most were indeed quite comical. A couple rolled me out of my chair. I really liked the airplane crash-parked in the tree caption! It fit the occasion. As were other caps posted by other Derby Trail patrons.
No hard feelings bro. It's just the I-net. I appreciate your commentary. Best of life to you and Arlington Jim and BigsMC and the Spyder and Geeker and God and all the rest of my antagonistic butthole critics here at Derby Trail that I may have not mentioned.

Dr. SwineSmeller

Thanks Scav
 

Howdy Scav, I have not looked at the Esoteric Central forum, but I will indeed do so. Thank you also Scav. Dr. SwineSmeller

his name is Mortimer, please introduce yourself