what mortimer did for me...




































everything

Brilliant

Did he buy you a new laptop?

Dear Mr. Alan Speegish:

Behooved kind sir.

I remain

Very Truly Yours,

Sight-poo

Morty is gone?


Mrs. Ford will not be forgiven for this.

HO-ssy, God knows you've always been their for me. I two believe that our good friend is looking down on us from the big Saratoga Urinal in the sky. May God bless him and may God bless you with many winners.

Would like to echo my bud boardies' sentiments. Mr. Speegish is all class.

Hello.


This is Alan Speegish and I would like to speak.Mortimer left me specific instructions.He would rather you not lavish him so because as you all know he was a very modest person.

I would like to add something here.I really appreciate how Mr. Garden entertains everyone with that lost art...

















...LIVE UNICYCLE JUGGLING!!










It's nice seeing a grown ham sandwich in a polka dot suit with big shoes and a faulty umbrella peddle a unicyle with patches on the tire while juggling bowling buddies.

I mean bowling pins.

It's really quite refreshing.I am also glad Mr. Semiconductor enjoys Chicago HO's.

If any of you would like to send money to Mortimers favorite charity please feel free to do so.Also...I am writing down the names of those posters who have not left posts of appreciation/testimonials with regard to Mortimers croaking. I mean passing.






Alan Speegish.

I, Alan Speegish, forgot to add my thanks to those thanking me.I don't deserve it. Those personalized letters of thanks to the posters posting appreciation/testimonals were purely the idea of Mortimer.


But thanks all the same.



Alan Speegish.

In deep appreciation of Morty, I suggest we all take a moment and:



































































































THUD!

:eek: DebODeb... I'm shocked. :D

[quote=Mortimer]I, Alan Speegish, forgot to add my thanks to those thanking me.I don't deserve it. Those personalized letters of thanks to the posters posting appreciation/testimonals were purely the idea of Mortimer.


But thanks all the same.



Alan Speegish.[/QUOTE

I see I'm not making much progress heah on figuring out how to negotiate this forum, Alan. Perhaps I'll consult VT or Andy Peyers.
I'm not sure who Dannie is.

Speakish speegs.







Just a moment.









Speegish speaks.




I missed the last few pages of Mortimers will. He asks he be buried in BrownSugar.








Just a moment.










What I meant was he asks he be buried in BrownSugars Angels thread.


He also mentions he hopes PillowPants buries GenuineCrazyLady.He also says if posters took the first request about not lauding him seriously...they should resume lauding immediately....."it was a joke fer cripes sakes."

More.....CajunH.....I'm not sure of that last letter. Oh well....he asks taht CajunH? shut her big mouth. He also requests someone give some kind of direction to the NotePad ditz.Let's see here....oh......he wants DebODeb to be given a Sudafed drip.I think he meant that in a good way.











Oh boy.








I better stop inserting my own stuff here.












:o


I really am trying.







He also predicts Hossy will win an award for best signature and that LateFires will finally heat up Thebby's kitchen.He put a frowny face after that one.Oh...here's a wish that CapperZeke stop cheating at poker and get in this thread and express his deep sorrow and admiration.Another prediction was that Dispencer would admit to being a platoon player ....but then delete it in the "senator followed the 'stick it here ' directions" thread


Speegish hopes he did not miss anything.



Oh..he did.




He said SeatleAsteroid should get a life.


That should do it.Thank you.







Alan Speegish.

Alan Speegish found another page.


Thank my lucky stars.






Mortimer said The Panda will appear on David Letterman and hopefully hit PeeSchaffer with a pie.

Carla will destroy her photo.

AuntyCooby will be lap dancing in Norway.

CM Oriole will become a US Senator at Dulles Inter. Airport and do very well.

The Abominable DrugS will stop wearing socks.

Stevie Bogs will take a remedial pie counting course.

He will fail..by the way.

And if FOD doesn't make new members they will fail as well.







Alan Speegish.

Alan,


I did not cheat at poker.



I just did was what was done to me.


I miss the old Morty.



CZ

seems morty has now retired more times than sugar ray leonard.

Alan Speegish here.



I believe I have the last page of Mortimers Last Will and Commentary.I certainly hope so.It says should CapperZeke finally be embarrassed into replying here...he should keep quiet about any cheating Mortimer did.Maybe Mortimer left CZ something.Ya never know.

He left a gallon of muratic acid to myspace so they may pour it over Dispencersspace.At the very least he hopes that train guard rail breaks.Here's a direct advisery Mortimer left for Dispencer:

"Hey..Dispencer.I'd ditch that photo of you with the crop circle hairdo.Frankly I think it's an alien map showing the location of Roswell .I would also ditch the myspace link.At least newbees would only think your insane."


I hope Mr. Dispencer is reading along at home with us .

Also he notes Hossy better check his signature spelling.Or else the secrets of the ZC's will never be delivered to him.

Here's a note about Dannie and her secret infatuation with bananas.Boy...I don't think I can repeat this one.

WHEW!



He mentions no one should pay attention to Zaff....."Canadian".





I believe this finishes my work here. I hope you are all happy with the reading.Please carry on the unending work in helping to destroy TrueForm...I mean Swine.

I will now go back to my regular duties of being a brilliant writer of fine works.

Please look for my latest book......Yep...BentMahPud:His years as a Piss Boy.







Alan Speegish

Oh for Heavens sakes.



Speegish forgot a Mortimer comment about the keyboard spazz...PeeSchaeffer.


He predicts Pee will become obsessed with MortimersFriends. He will speak in tongues and make animal noises to try and satiate his desire to be a big strong man.Mortimer thinks Pee will have a fetal flashback...curl into a ball and show a strong desire for mookys delivered through a nipple in his crazed jibberish.

Mortimer thinks the only nipple Pee gets now is from the cow he bought for 3 JuJuBeans last week.


God is he stupid!





And now I'm sure that's everything.









Alan Speegish

Dear Mr. Speegish,

This is Julie Zvoranova, Mr. Pillow Pants' personal trainer. He is suffering from a pulled hammy and is unable to post at this time.

I am posting on his behalf to let you know that he is behooved, nearly moved, by your kind words. He expects to back soon and hungry for fresh prey.

Seriously Sincerely,

Julie xoxo

Dear Mr. Speegish,
DebODeb is now taking DayQuil and still feels like sh*t but is much more alert and thanks you for your concern.

Shut up!

Speegish speaks.




Dear Surrogate PillowPants:

Well you put him back together and get him back in the game.There's an abundance of fresh kill just waiting to happen around here. GenuineCrazyLady is such an obvious target her unit price is already printed on her blouse.



Alan Speegish









Dear DebODeb;



DayQuil? Oh never mind.Speegish is glad to know you are better.Soon you will be ready for a ( as Mr. Foxworthy would say) a "rule en ze hay."

Oh ..and share food....good idea.




Alan Speegish












Dear Mr.Hossy;


Good to know you enjoyed some of Mortimers predictions.I understand a made guy got clipped at FOD. Too bad. Seems there may now be two openings.Someone ought to get it in gear over there.






Alan Speegish

Speegish is very angry.What simple minded frog vaporized Speegish's reply to socks fan?

Speegish will not tolerate such insolent doings.Never do this again.





Alan Speegish

Speegish wants to see the Canadian Gaf and Dimmy.

As administrater of Mortimers estate my duties include vaporizing young fat piglets as well as TrueSwine.


Bring your GIC sets with you.







Alan Speegish

Speegish asks....




..WHO HAS DONE THIS THING?



Who here has snapped at DebODEb?

It was PeeScaheffer...keyboard spazz.

Speegish sees predators already ripping his flesh.This is only the beginning for your Mr. Wizzard. You will be ripped and slashed and cut and ripped some more until you are finished you filthy swine.

Speegish sees no acceptance of his invitation to Canadian Gaf and Dimmy.


Speegish smell cowards and vermin.








Alan Speegish

Speegish heard a femer crunch!




But a predater lost a tooth trying to bite that bone head of Mr. Wizzards.

Be careful killers...leave the bone head alone.It's mighty dense.




Alan Speegish.

Worry not Mr. Speegish. No predator here. Just a highly amused observer.:D

Speegish understands. Fresh Kill is ugly to watch ,but Hosssy is trained to slowly torture the prey.

He's doing a fine job.

Oh....and you're wearing a short skirt. Fine work.






Alan Speegish

Speegish knew he shouldn't have thrown in the short skirt thing.....but oh well.



Mr.Pants...I believe I saw GenuineCrazyLady give you a distinct "prey in heat ...come and get it" sign.


A real predator would simply destroy her.





Alan Speegish.

I have not sent one kid in my class to the office for disciplinary
for at least two years (had to send that one, he was drunk)
---------------

And soooo the principal told the youngster..." You got drunk for Mr. PeeGardens class?











GREAT IDEA!!!"

No problem. I was gone for awhile.:)

He is amusing, isn't he? He takes himself so seriously.

Speegish enjoys pretty legs.



And yes.....Pints of fine whiskey are now given out to his Physics class students.They replace the blindfolds and earplugs given out in years previous.








Alan Speegish

Speegish thinks Hossy has gone for the throat.. His prey has suffered enough.




The smell of fresh kill permeates the surrounding air. Soon jackals Dimmy and Canadian Guf will sneak in...because....as you all know.......Hossy does not chew his prey....he merely kills it and moves on.








Alan Speegish

Does Speegish = Smeagol (aka Gollum?) from Lord of the Rings? :p

Very nice of you Mr. Hossy.




Cajunatah...Speegish is unaware of this thing.

Maybe the aristocrat PissBoy can give direction here.




Alan Speegish

Speeglish smells his armpits!