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-   -   Did i go too far? (http://www.derbytrail.com/forums/showthread.php?t=8534)

Danzig 01-06-2007 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paisjpq
I agree with absolutely everything you said Nicole...but this made me laugh...when I was little I lost my "reading lamp" and had to leave the door to my bedroom open at night so I couldn't read all night :o because Bedtime was bedtime.. I can remember my mother talking to the other mothers and their disbelief that she actually punished me for reading :eek:

exactly the same with my daughter. people are baffled that i forbid her reading.
but to take away the tv would mean nothing, same as ps2 and computer. she would just read.
i on the other hand.....my mother would punish me be confining me to my room. a fate worse than death.
so, what did i do when not allowed outside? THEN i would read. my poor mother, i was a humming bundle of energy. she hated when it rained, my brother and i drove her nuts when stuck inside.

Downthestretch55 01-06-2007 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paisjpq
I agree with absolutely everything you said Nicole...but this made me laugh...when I was little I lost my "reading lamp" and had to leave the door to my bedroom open at night so I couldn't read all night :o because Bedtime was bedtime.. I can remember my mother talking to the other mothers and their disbelief that she actually punished me for reading :eek:

Pais,
I hear you. Of course all parents want their kids to love reading. You sound like there was something that happened to discourage you...but look at what you're doing, all the time. Right?
Here's a little story about a friend that was really frustrated about his dog, actually, a puppy. Being a "dog lover" like me, you might see what I mean.
So, he came over to my house with his little pooch, very frustrated and ready to give her away or bring her to the shelter.
I said, what's the problem?
He said, she doesn't come when I call her.
So, I said, let her go, lets see.
He took her off the leash, she ran away, curious about all the smells and enjoying her run. Ahh freedom.
So he calls, Here MOLLY!
No response.
HERE MOLLY!!!
She's like...go to hell...
HERE MOLLY!!!!!!!!! Louder.

This went on about fifteen times. He just kept getting louder but never made a move in her direction. Talk about frustration.
So, I whispered, just be quiet. Wait and watch.

After a while, she decided to come back.
What do you think he did?
He hit her hard on her ass and said, "WHY DIDN"T YOU COME BACK TO ME THE FIRST TIME I CALLED YOU, MOLLY?" Smack!

If you were a puppy, would you come back to that?
She never did again either, for quite a while.
Then the task was in the retraining.
Not the puppy, the "master".

Here, when she comes back, give her a little puppy biscuit and a pat on the head. Tell her you're happy she returned.
It didn't take long. She learned quickly.
Sometimes, dogs are smarter than people.

paisjpq 01-06-2007 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Downthestretch55
Pais,
I hear you. Of course all parents want their kids to love reading. You sound like there was something that happened to discourage you...but look at what you're doing, all the time. Right?
Here's a little story about a friend that was really frustrated about his dog, actually, a puppy. Being a "dog lover" like me, you might see what I mean.
So, he came over to my house with his little pooch, very frustrated and ready to give her away or bring her to the shelter.
I said, what's the problem?
He said, she doesn't come when I call her.
So, I said, let her go, lets see.
He took her off the leash, she ran away, curious about all the smells and enjoying her run. Ahh freedom.
So he calls, Here MOLLY!
No response.
HERE MOLLY!!!
She's like...go to hell...
HERE MOLLY!!!!!!!!! Louder.

This went on about fifteen times. He just kept getting louder but never made a move in her direction. Talk about frustration.
So, I whispered, just be quiet. Wait and watch.

After a while, she decided to come back.
What do you think he did?
He hit her hard on her ass and said, "WHY DIDN"T YOU COME BACK TO ME THE FIRST TIME I CALLED YOU, MOLLY?" Smack!

If you were a puppy, would you come back to that?
She never did again either, for quite a while.
Then the task was in the retraining.
Not the puppy, the "master".

Here, when she comes back, give her a little puppy biscuit and a pat on the head. Tell her you're happy she returned.
It didn't take long. She learned quickly.
Sometimes, dogs are smarter than people.

not sure what you mean...nothing bad ever happened to me. My parents encouraged reading all the time...but if I was left to my own devices as a child I would stay up all night every night reading...so they didn't let me.

your dog story I don't get at all...

Downthestretch55 01-06-2007 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paisjpq
not sure what you mean...nothing bad ever happened to me. My parents encouraged reading all the time...but if I was left to my own devices as a child I would stay up all night every night reading...so they didn't let me.

your dog story I don't get at all...

ok...sorry. It was about positive reinforcement.
I must have misread about your reading light.
Nevermind.

GenuineRisk 01-07-2007 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paisjpq
I agree with absolutely everything you said Nicole...but this made me laugh...when I was little I lost my "reading lamp" and had to leave the door to my bedroom open at night so I couldn't read all night :o because Bedtime was bedtime.. I can remember my mother talking to the other mothers and their disbelief that she actually punished me for reading :eek:

That's hilarious-- I have many memories of reading in the dark, too!

Here's a question, regarding food (I'm with you, Danzig, on not force-feeding- I think it screws up eating habits more than it teaches discipline)- though I agree about not catering to a kids' craving for pizza and cheeseburgers every night, what if a kid wants to be vegetarian?

Mulling it over, I think I would accomodate that- if it put a lot of strain on dinner schedules (having to make two things), I'd probably require the kid to assist with making dinner, and also require no preaching to siblings who might choose differently, but since vegetarianism is usually based in a health or moral line of thought, not a rebel-against-the-parents, I think that one I'd be willing to work with.

Easy to say, having been a strict vegetarian for several years (and even now, only an occasional meat eater, like when I'm in Argentina. :) ) and knowing where it comes from.

paisjpq 01-07-2007 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk
That's hilarious-- I have many memories of reading in the dark, too!

Here's a question, regarding food (I'm with you, Danzig, on not force-feeding- I think it screws up eating habits more than it teaches discipline)- though I agree about not catering to a kids' craving for pizza and cheeseburgers every night, what if a kid wants to be vegetarian?

Mulling it over, I think I would accomodate that- if it put a lot of strain on dinner schedules (having to make two things), I'd probably require the kid to assist with making dinner, and also require no preaching to siblings who might choose differently, but since vegetarianism is usually based in a health or moral line of thought, not a rebel-against-the-parents, I think that one I'd be willing to work with.

Easy to say, having been a strict vegetarian for several years (and even now, only an occasional meat eater, like when I'm in Argentina. :) ) and knowing where it comes from.

when I was 11 I declared myself a vegetarian...these days I eat some chicken and turkey (from local farms mostly) but I haven't eaten red meat in 19 years...gosh that seems like a long time when it's written down...but I am still the only member of my family that doesn't eat meat.

anyway, growing up my parents always said you can eat what's on the table or you can make yourself a sandwich...so that's usually what I did....ate the veggies and starch and then had a sandwich...as the vegetarian craze really got going and there were more "fake" meat products on the market my mom started to buy those and I was free to make them myself...but she didn't really ever make special meals just for me...and I agree with her decisions...

randallscott35 01-07-2007 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paisjpq
when I was 11 I declared myself a vegetarian...these days I eat some chicken and turkey (from local farms mostly) but I haven't eaten red meat in 19 years...gosh that seems like a long time when it's written down...but I am still the only member of my family that doesn't eat meat.

anyway, growing up my parents always said you can eat what's on the table or you can make yourself a sandwich...so that's usually what I did....ate the veggies and starch and then had a sandwich...as the vegetarian craze really got going and there were more "fake" meat products on the market my mom started to buy those and I was free to make them myself...but she didn't really ever make special meals just for me...and I agree with her decisions...

You need a steak.

paisjpq 01-07-2007 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randallscott35
You need a steak.

you sound like my brother...who sends me daily picture messages to my phone of whatever beef or pork product he is eating:rolleyes:

randallscott35 01-07-2007 09:48 AM

I am like the brother you never had. Or wanted.

paisjpq 01-07-2007 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randallscott35
I am like the brother you never had. Or wanted.

true...since I never wanted the two I already have:D what's one more?

GenuineRisk 01-07-2007 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randallscott35
You need a steak.

Hilarious. Almost as funny as my sister-in-law talking to me about the vegetarian restaurant she and my brother fully intended to go to when they visited family, then taking a portion of ribs for dinner, then later saying really, it wasn't the meat she wanted; it was just the sauce.

Holy toledo, eat meat or don't; just shut up about it!

(I don't have moral issues about eating animals, though I have lots of issues about factory farms and environmental consequences of excessive meat consumption. But I sure ain't preachin' at the dinner table.)

Byebyemermaid 01-08-2007 01:49 PM

One of the things i like about this board is the varying points of view that all of you have.Let me also state that for any of you that thought i might be offended of the 2 cents you put in,then i would've had no right to post a thread like this.The fact is,i grew up in a very disciplined household.As i've said before my dad is a holocaust survivor and had the pain of seeing his parents get deported which hardened him as a person.This past Saturday night we went over to my brothers house for dinner and later on we went to a comedy club.You guessed it our son did not eat what was put in front of him.As people got done i made him stay at the table and he was not allowed to play with his cousins or sister.Before we left for the club he changed into his pajamas and went to bed having only had 2 glasses of water.I informed my neices that he can't have any snacks or play with them.On Sunday we went out to breakfast and he did eat 4 pancakes and 2 glasses of orange juice.Sunday night we made alphabet pasta.Our daughter ate 3 bowls he struggled with a little.I told my wife you got to be with me on this and not waver and get soft.He's great in school and got almost perfect grades.

GenuineRisk 01-08-2007 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Byebyemermaid
One of the things i like about this board is the varying points of view that all of you have.Let me also state that for any of you that thought i might be offended of the 2 cents you put in,then i would've had no right to post a thread like this.The fact is,i grew up in a very disciplined household.As i've said before my dad is a holocaust survivor and had the pain of seeing his parents get deported which hardened him as a person.This past Saturday night we went over to my brothers house for dinner and later on we went to a comedy club.You guessed it our son did not eat what was put in front of him.As people got done i made him stay at the table and he was not allowed to play with his cousins or sister.Before we left for the club he changed into his pajamas and went to bed having only had 2 glasses of water.I informed my neices that he can't have any snacks or play with them.On Sunday we went out to breakfast and he did eat 4 pancakes and 2 glasses of orange juice.Sunday night we made alphabet pasta.Our daughter ate 3 bowls he struggled with a little.I told my wife you got to be with me on this and not waver and get soft.He's great in school and got almost perfect grades.

What does he like to eat? Awesome about him being a good student, by the way.

Byebyemermaid 01-08-2007 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk
What does he like to eat? Awesome about him being a good student, by the way.

He'll eat pizza,french fries,pancakes,french toast,dry everything bagel which is his lunch in school and on occasion an onion omellete.Any kind of sweet that goes his way.Our daughter eats everything you put in front of her and whatever she sees new on your plate.When she was 18 months old and we were in Vermont my wife order a cesar salad and they put achovies on it.My wife took them off and our daughter started to eat them to the point where the waiter was amazed and brought ou more only to watch her finish them.She also started to eat Sushi at the same time and i mean flying fish roe,ikura.yellowtail,tuna,white tuna but her favorite is salmon.She can polish off guacamole like nothing.Loves the soup there as well as the seaweed.I joke with my wife that the problem is that when she was pregnant with our son we went out and ate a lot of junk.With our daughter it was salads and fruit.I guess the old you're a product of your environment starts in the womb.

Downthestretch55 01-08-2007 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Byebyemermaid
He'll eat pizza,french fries,pancakes,french toast,dry everything bagel which is his lunch in school and on occasion an onion omellete.Any kind of sweet that goes his way.Our daughter eats everything you put in front of her and whatever she sees new on your plate.When she was 18 months old and we were in Vermont my wife order a cesar salad and they put achovies on it.My wife took them off and our daughter started to eat them to the point where the waiter was amazed and brought ou more only to watch her finish them.She also started to eat Sushi at the same time and i mean flying fish roe,ikura.yellowtail,tuna,white tuna but her favorite is salmon.She can polish off guacamole like nothing.Loves the soup there as well as the seaweed.I joke with my wife that the problem is that when she was pregnant with our son we went out and ate a lot of junk.With our daughter it was salads and fruit.I guess the old you're a product of your environment starts in the womb.

Hey Mark,
I put some "kid friendly recipes" in the Derby trail Cookbook. Let him pick one out. Make it together. You'll both have fun, and he'll eat it, even if it's burned to a crisp.
Enjoy!
DTS

GenuineRisk 01-08-2007 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Byebyemermaid
He'll eat pizza,french fries,pancakes,french toast,dry everything bagel which is his lunch in school and on occasion an onion omellete.Any kind of sweet that goes his way.Our daughter eats everything you put in front of her and whatever she sees new on your plate.When she was 18 months old and we were in Vermont my wife order a cesar salad and they put achovies on it.My wife took them off and our daughter started to eat them to the point where the waiter was amazed and brought ou more only to watch her finish them.She also started to eat Sushi at the same time and i mean flying fish roe,ikura.yellowtail,tuna,white tuna but her favorite is salmon.She can polish off guacamole like nothing.Loves the soup there as well as the seaweed.I joke with my wife that the problem is that when she was pregnant with our son we went out and ate a lot of junk.With our daughter it was salads and fruit.I guess the old you're a product of your environment starts in the womb.

So it sounds like he's a real fan of the simple carbohydrate. Problem I can see down the road is that they produce sugar highs, then sugar crashes- they're not great for maintaining a set energy level.

I can empathize- my aunt nicknamed me "Carbohydrate Kid" when I was growing up. My brother was much better about varying his diet. Sweeter fruits and veggies were helpful for balancing my diet- I liked oranges (and tangerines, especially) and carrots. You can get fruit preserves that are only fruit- no added sugar- maybe he can be induced to try a whole wheat bagel with fruit preserves at some point, to replace the white flour everything bagel. I think you can buy whole wheat pancake mix, too.

That's tough, though-- the simple carb addiction is a lifelong kind of thing. And it really messes with your energy later. I should know. :(

Danzig 01-08-2007 03:58 PM

whole grains much, much better than that bleached processed crap.
but all pre-packaged food is bad.

BUT, your body doesn't know a carb from a sugar--other than fiber of course. carbs is carbs, and they all turn into fat if your body doesn't process all of it.
also, no fat is crap--they replace fat with sugar. so you don't take in fat, your body will however make it with that sugar you're eating.

eat like the caveman, you'll do just fine!

Byebyemermaid 01-08-2007 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GenuineRisk
So it sounds like he's a real fan of the simple carbohydrate. Problem I can see down the road is that they produce sugar highs, then sugar crashes- they're not great for maintaining a set energy level.

I can empathize- my aunt nicknamed me "Carbohydrate Kid" when I was growing up. My brother was much better about varying his diet. Sweeter fruits and veggies were helpful for balancing my diet- I liked oranges (and tangerines, especially) and carrots. You can get fruit preserves that are only fruit- no added sugar- maybe he can be induced to try a whole wheat bagel with fruit preserves at some point, to replace the white flour everything bagel. I think you can buy whole wheat pancake mix, too.

That's tough, though-- the simple carb addiction is a lifelong kind of thing. And it really messes with your energy later. I should know. :(

I tried to give him Life cereal this morning and he didn't want it.Who doesen't like life cereal.Remember this was a kid who at age 2.5 to 4 ate herring with onions in wine sauce.


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