I consider myself a very lucky poker player who knows when to fold.

I consider myself a handicapped horse handicapper.

This is getting dangerous.

Did I say GETTING!!?

I edited my wording dummass!

rule-eng en leff-eng!!!!

















SNARF!!!!

Here's my game Mortimer, or should I call you, Morty.

First I'm a girl so people assume I dont know my right hand from left so I go with it.

Second, I always drink when playing so then my face is red for every hand not just the good ones!

Third in the beginning I'll play a crappy hand and lose on purpose (but not too many chips) so people think I'm clueless.

THEN.. I only play two face cards, pocket pairs or suited connectors. When I think someone has a better hand, I fold.. I dont need to chase pots to just to see the outcome.. dont get involved in the pissing match.

And I always go with my gut feeling.. dont second guess it. I'm lucky to have a good (well maybe a bit fat) gut.

When its down to 2-3 players left, if you get a face card, you play your hand (at least see the flop/turn). The first touney I won was with a King high.

Seriously ,Uncly, memorize this so you will be ready for me: (It shows lowest to highest card. In other words the card below beats the card above. It gives you the very rudiment of the game.)

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Jack
DiSpencer...I mean Queen
King
Ace






This may help,too:






penny


nickle


dime


quarter

half dollar

dollar


5 dollars


10 dollars


20 dollars


50 dollars

100 dollars




( In the above case the monetary unit below is higher than the one above....and yer so forth.)

OK?

well I just gave you the insights to my game so you BETTER beat me!

Dahling....I can already tell it would be of absolutely no value to you if you did know your right hand from your left hand.







Kiss-Kiss....Hug-Hug.

Is it of value to me that I'm just plain lucky??? (knock on wood)

Luck goes in streaks.




Brains soar to mountain peaks.

true.. I just have fun with it and happened to win a few grand along the way.

Shore.

Las Vegas..

$500.00 for female company
$10,000 for the tables
$5,000 for the free drinks....[ tips ]
$2,500 for the sport book....
$1,500 for MORE female company.
99 cents for the breakfast specials

Having the time of your life....= Priceless :tro:

you're spending too much money on breakfast

Frankly..I think his female company valuation is way overboard.

I laughed.. I admit it..

if you aren't already getting laid by the beer fetcher, you're just a bad negotiator.

Good deal.





I can't see Andy's picks so if you're in the same boat ...stuff like this helps.