"I picked 3 in the pick 3. Now what?"

" Does anyone know the number for 911? I have an emergency...I think I broke my Whodey."

"I think you have to carry it over to the pick 4."

"What is a pick 4 ?"

"Can I pick 5 for the pick 4?"

"I guess that would be a pick 5? What are picks?"

"How is the track playing today? I don't have my track records yet."

Morty...remember three words....




not those three words....







these three words.....







Quality not Quantity

"European horsies are automatic tosses when the grass is yielding"

"Where am I ?"

I just talked to a guy at O'Reilly Auto Parts and he said Dylan Thomas has the bird flu"

" Why don't tracks sell tv guides for the tv's? Why doesn't Cleveland make Indian guides available?"

" What good are auto parts when you can buy a whole auto? Who was Auto Graham?"

" Someone at the track said they were going to fix my wagon. I don't even have a wagon!!"

"Is Michael Lewis still racing?"

"Where are MommyDearest's tits?"

"Hey why isn't :58 flat on today? Wokka Wokka Wokka!!"

" I don't think she has any."

"I met Suffy-Poo at Mamouth and she was wet"

" What the dots in front of horsies times? Are those colons? Would one dot mean a semicolon?"

"I sent my resume to HRTV and TVG and listed my father as a reference. He's a retired jockey. Will I get an interview?"

'Soon we will have Suffy-Poo Moomoth vacay photos!!!!!!"

" I thought tvg was a garden show on tv!!!"

"Unconfirmed reports at Mamouth say the Loch Ness Monster was spotted in the Infield"

" I understood them better when it was a garden show."

" I didn't know the LN Monster was spotted!!!"

"Where is Baffert!???????"

"Turns out it wasn't the Loch Ness Monster. It was Gary Sciacca"

"Who is Edgar Playdough?"

"Why isn't Dic Stuffer calling the races at Mamouth?"

" Are the horsies wearing mud flaps today? "

" I called the races already.They don't sell no rye bread...or horseradish."

" I draw circles around horseys I want to win in the program. What if I draw circles around 2 I want to box? Will it still work?"

"When does the first AD race start at Monomooth?"

"Why don't they ever let the Riccola Bros. blow their horns for big races? Who is that same funny man always blowing his? It's not fair."

'Why did Erin go bra????? Didn't she wear one before? Why not? Who is Erin?""

"Who is Andy? Why does everyone ask him stupid questions?"

" Can someone help me with my scratches?"

"Is Discreet Cat a spy for Al-Qaeda?"

"My mom told me to wear a London Fog to Mamouth tomorrow. How am I going to get fog from London on such short notice?"