I have for sale the following items:


1......Photos of a certain posters massive tail.SOLD

2......Andys phone number.SOLD

3......One used,but reconditioned ,Vaporization Chamber.

4......SOLD
5...... SOLD
6.......Photos of thoroughbred mares running very fast from the breeding shed.FREEBEE TO HOSSY

7.......SOLD
8........SOLD

9.......My own book "How To Win Friends and Vaporize...I mean Influence People".

I want 10% of whatever you make on the shots of my ass.

and I need a smallish type % since it was kinda sorta my idea...:D

ror!



I think we just identified that "certain" poster.

Items 4,5,7 and 8 have been sold.

Item number one has been sold.

As has item no. 2.








Congratulations ClownTheRetch...I KNOW you will enjoy them.

In regards to #1....taking into consideration her height and weight....I highly doubt that a "massive tail" is part of the package.

what did we make?

not sure if oscar would agree

Oscar and I need to have a talk then...maybe he is getting too big for his britches....

I do hope our guy PointGiven1985 was the highest bidder/buyer of Andy's telephone number Morte'. I mean it was so kind of you to do that to your good friend. To share his number like that, for your financial gain.

I'm sure that he will be thrilled. And that he will look forward to long hours on the phone giving PG1985 lessons of the game.

Just in case though Morte', I think I'd add a few extra locks, dead bolts, etc, maybe even home alarm monitoring, and an officer on duty for drive-bys.

He may kill you!

ClownTheRetch has returned ,for a full refund ,item no. 1




It is now back up for whale...I mean sale.

Oh for you?....free.

Well what do you think makes up 70% of that weight???

ClownTheRetch has already purchased item no.2




What are friends for...anyway?

boo-bees.

KNEW i loved you for a reason:o

Highly amusing ma'am!!





Perhaps you care to send a photograph?

Item number one has been resold to lardbuckets.com for world wide display.




"We" aren't saying how much "we" made.

Very good sir.





I am always...


....at your service.

Good morning Morte'

I hope that you had a good night.

May I ask you . . . do you ever leave the confines of your beloved Buckeye state and vacation and watch horses run at places like Saratoga, NY?

I mean you made so much on last night's auction/gala you surely have made plans.

Morte', truly, I say unto you.


I never have been good at abiding anyone's rules, and that includes . . . yours.


Do slink over, one needs to be well heeled when traveling Upstate.


Have a wonderful Monday, sweetheart.


Later . . .

This song is dedicated to Morty and Grits...

Love is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound

And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes

Love is in the air
In the whisper of the trees
Love is in the air
In the thunder of the sea

And I don't know if I'm just dreaming
Don't know if I feel sane
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when you call out my name

(Chorus)
Love is in the air
Love is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh

Love is in the air
In the rising of the sun
Love is in the air
When the day is nearly done

And I don't know if you're an illusion
Don't know if I see it true
But you're something that I must believe in
And you're there when I reach out for you

Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound
And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise

But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes

Cajun,
Now you know that is gonna upset Thebby and Carla...

Oops. DRAT! Well, you can't please em all.

Don't forget Aunty Cooby and Nabby Dabby.


Little Miss Storm Cat also.






I'm getting vibes from the harlot who describes expertise in fine blow jobs as well.

Caj, you wise woman you, sharp indeed. I think you may have just scored . . . with the only possible way of rendering Morte' speechless.

Speechless, not a chance.


I should know better. Pass.

Please...I have issued permission to NO ONE allowing them to address me as "sweetheart".




And I don't believe JKB Hat has becme a member...that I know of.

I'll call you what ever I please...since you are profiting from pictures of me taken through my windows at night...

mr hat isn't here to my knowledge...

Get this filth out of here.

As I just abruptly stated and to now paraphrase

don't bother me with your rules or your permission Morte'

I don't do either.

Caj is correct, Spring is here, and I have flowers to tend today

and that is a very good thing.

Flowers always make me smile . . . they're gentle.

And I like that.

Is this the name that tune thread??

note the reference to both flowers and the Derby...

Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think youre the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I wont forget to put roses on your grave

Well, when youre sitting back
In your rose pink cadillac
Making bets on kentucky derby day
Ill be in my basement room
With a needle and a spoon
And another girl to take my pain away

Perhaps this is a better song for Morty and whatever female he's enamored with at the moment:

My baby makes me proud
Lord, don't she make me proud
She never makes a scene
By hanging all over me in a crowd
'Cause people like to talk
Lord, don't they love to talk
But when they turn out the lights
I know she'll be leaving with me

And when we get behind closed doors
Then she lets her hair hang down
And she makes me glad that I'm a man
Oh, no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors

My baby makes me smile
Lord, don't she make me smile
She's never far away
Or too tired to say: "I want you"
She's always a lady, just like a lady should be
But when they turn out the lights
She's still a baby to me

'Cause when we get behind closed doors
Then she lets her hair hang down
And she makes me glad that I'm a man
Oh, no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors
Behind closed doors

I hope all that is done now.

Yawn. I need someone to sing me a song.