"when they say the horsey ran 'rank' does it mean they smell bad?"

"I still don't kno what all those numbers mean on the scoreboard......I guess it's called a tote board.I like tote in the morning with my tea."

"Why do they call it a tote board? Is it named after 2MinutesToTote? Who is he?"

"what to do if you find Morty in the restroom at mamouth"

'I heard someone at the track say that he lost his azz..............??????????"

"Just back from Monmouth....... i'm soaked"

"A guy told me when a horsie has front wraps he is an automatic winner. Is this true?"

" Isn't TommyNoChance an opera by a certain 1st baseman?"

"What are front wraps? Are they on the front?"

"Hold on...are pigs racing because that's what alot of people are yelling at the monitors."

"Uncly"

"Why doesn't everybody hurry when that man says...yoooooooo better hurry!!....they seem to go slower!"

"wire to wire? I thought they broke from gates!

"When a jockey falls off a horsey and go boom...the horsey keeps running. Why doesn't the jockey?"

" Why does a boy jockey have a crop??????...are they really boys??""

"which horseys are faster, brown ones or orange ones?"

"I never heard a bush called a crop before. Does this mean it's more than one bush?"

I saw Jerry Moss in the paddock and what looked like Ken Rudolph. Whoever it was had their head buried in Moss' ass."

"Why don'tjockeys ever sit down? Why do they have a saddle? Why do they beat the dickens out of the horsey near the end?"

"I thought Randy Moss was Black!! Maybe he is fooling us like Al Frankel."