"Will the sky fall at Mammouth? The horses could die on that stuff!"

"I hate when people run along the rail screaming......git up wid dat 5!!...git up wid dat 5!!!! I trip them."

I heard an announcer one say that one horse collard the leader. Now did the actually through collard greens at the horse or did they collar the leader in which case I cannot ver remember seeing a horse with a collar.

"No I don't have any cigs!! Leave me alone!!! Ok...you can hold a ten. Just pay me back Sunday."

"Wait a minute...is the CB being run at Mamouth or Saratoga? There's so many questions I forget. When is it again?"

" I also hate the 5...by the way."

if they race at night, do the horses have a headlight?

" Just got back from Mamouth...yup."

" Is the speed of light ineffective at night....in the dark?"

do the juvenile races have kids for jockeys?

"I went to Mammouth and all I got was pneumonia and my leg pissed on."

" I bought some scratch sheets. They had scratches all over them. I'm so stupid."

my free chair broke when i sat on it, should i call a lawyer?

" Why is there night racing? Aren't they getting longer about now?"

I just flew into Newark, and boy are my arms tired.

my pencil hasn't got an eraser. do you have a pencil with an eraser? what about a sharpener, i don't like when the tip of my pencil isn't sharp any more.

"Hey that wasn't a clubhouse! I want my money back!"

" Does AE mean alternate ego? Do horseys have imaginary friends????"

'I still don't understand staple chasing."

hey, i bet that horse who was supposed to run on the main track only, and he didn't run at all! that's false advertising.

hey, when are they racing for the steaks? i've been jogging for weeks to get in shape.

What is the advantage of forcing a horse to blink?

" What are graded stakes? Why is the FDA getting involved with horse racing? Is MacDonalds trying to get a jump start on competiters?"

" sumwun better stop copying off my fine work."

"What does Lael mean? Is that French for LOL?"

" Isn't Curlin a Budweiser horse?"

"It's nice that they have races for retarded horses. Kudos for the Handicap."

" Steve..........................oh forget it."

"Great show today, Steve!! Got any schwag I can hold?"

" How many book it locks have been selected in the Padlock today?"

" Andy...are you going to.................ror!!..oh I'm kidding."

" I don't have my book it lock picked yet for the SeaBees Classic. Anyone done?"

" Maybe Invasor...he won last year.....when was last year?"

" Who is Invasor anyways???"

" I can understand why they don't have horseradish at race tracks."

"Do they have hot dogs at dog tracks?"

"I'm going to Mammouth today. I'm going to take pics of me on the bike."

"Is DNF a mistake for MondayNightFootball?"

" Ah wonder what kind of crop a hot walker has?"