Downthestretch55
07-30-2006, 09:05 PM
I didn't write this but I got a giggle, so I'm sharing it.
"How to have fun at Walmart"
Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-away.
Move a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
Wander around in circles in front of the customer service managers kiosk and when someone asks if they can help you, throw yourself down on the floor, begin crying and wailing, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Walk up to a store security camera, use it as a mirror, then pick your nose.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
Dart around the store, looking around suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
In the auto department, pretend to be Madonna, singing "Like a Virgin" and sporting funnels under your shirt.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; then yell very loudly, "Hey, Somebody! I need some toilet paper in here!"
Stand near the checkouts, constantly wiping across your nose, then "flick" as customers walk by.
And last but not least...
Grab a couple of plastic shopping bags, place your arms through the handles up to your shoulders, go out into the parking lot and proclaim yourself "ready for takeoff"...run through lot at top speed, flapping arms and yelling "I simply love to fly"...
"How to have fun at Walmart"
Take boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-away.
Move a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
Wander around in circles in front of the customer service managers kiosk and when someone asks if they can help you, throw yourself down on the floor, begin crying and wailing, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Walk up to a store security camera, use it as a mirror, then pick your nose.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
Dart around the store, looking around suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
In the auto department, pretend to be Madonna, singing "Like a Virgin" and sporting funnels under your shirt.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; then yell very loudly, "Hey, Somebody! I need some toilet paper in here!"
Stand near the checkouts, constantly wiping across your nose, then "flick" as customers walk by.
And last but not least...
Grab a couple of plastic shopping bags, place your arms through the handles up to your shoulders, go out into the parking lot and proclaim yourself "ready for takeoff"...run through lot at top speed, flapping arms and yelling "I simply love to fly"...